The Effects of Unforgiveness

Matthew 18:21-22

One of the most dangerous things a person can do is to hold onto resentment. Clinging to unforgiveness has far-reaching and often unexpected consequences.

Although bitterness takes root in the mind, it doesn’t stay contained. Acrimony can spread into every aspect of a person’s life. For example, the hostility a man feels toward his father can color his relationship with his wife, his willingness to perform at work, and his involvement in church.

It’s probably not surprising to hear that resentment impacts the mind and spirit, but you may not have realized what a physical toll it can also take on us. An attitude of bitterness ratchets up tension and anxiety, which can affect everything from muscles to chemical balance in the brain. Over time, that kind of mayhem weakens the body.

Because unforgiveness is a violation of God’s law, it also causes spiritual turmoil that hinders a believer’s growth. Prayer is stifled because of harbored sin that should be confessed. And worship is dry and hypocritical because it’s difficult to effectively honor the Lord while trying to justify or hide a wrong attitude. What’s more, a resentful person’s witness is damaged, as others are prevented from seeing God’s glory shining through him.

Forgiving someone means giving up resentment and the right to get even with him or her, even though you were wronged. God insisted this was the only way to go through life. One reason He commands us to forego hostility and vengeance is that these things cause so much damage to our own lives.

Charles Spurgeon’s Morning and Evening

Morning “The eternal God is thy refuge.” / Deuteronomy 33:27

The word refuge may be translated “mansion,” or “abiding- place,” which gives

the thought that God is our abode, our home. There is a fulness and sweetness

in the metaphor, for dear to our hearts is our home, although it be the

humblest cottage, or the scantiest garret; and dearer far is our blessed God,

in whom we live, and move, and have our being. It is at home that we feel

safe: we shut the world out and dwell in quiet security. So when we are with

our God we “fear no evil.” He is our shelter and retreat, our abiding refuge.

At home, we take our rest; it is there we find repose after the fatigue and

toil of the day. And so our hearts find rest in God, when, wearied with life’s

conflict, we turn to him, and our soul dwells at ease. At home, also, we let

our hearts loose; we are not afraid of being misunderstood, nor of our words

being misconstrued. So when we are with God we can commune freely with him,

laying open all our hidden desires; for if the “secret of the Lord is with

them that fear him,” the secrets of them that fear him ought to be, and must

be, with their Lord. Home, too, is the place of our truest and purest

happiness: and it is in God that our hearts find their deepest delight. We

have joy in him which far surpasses all other joy. It is also for home that we

work and labour. The thought of it gives strength to bear the daily burden,

and quickens the fingers to perform the task; and in this sense we may also

say that God is our home. Love to him strengthens us. We think of him in the

person of his dear Son; and a glimpse of the suffering face of the Redeemer

constrains us to labour in his cause. We feel that we must work, for we have

brethren yet to be saved, and we have our Father’s heart to make glad by

bringing home his wandering sons; we would fill with holy mirth the sacred

family among whom we dwell. Happy are those who have thus the God of Jacob for

their refuge!

 

Evening  “It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master.” / Matthew 10:25

No one will dispute this statement, for it would be unseemly for the servant

to be exalted above his Master. When our Lord was on earth, what was the

treatment he received? Were his claims acknowledged, his instructions

followed, his perfections worshipped, by those whom he came to bless? No; “He

was despised and rejected of men.” Outside the camp was his place:

cross-bearing was his occupation. Did the world yield him solace and rest?

“Foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the Son of man

hath not where to lay his head.” This inhospitable country afforded him no

shelter: it cast him out and crucified him. Such–if you are a follower of

Jesus, and maintain a consistent, Christ-like walk and conversation–you must

expect to be the lot of that part of your spiritual life which, in its outward

development, comes under the observation of men. They will treat it as they

treated the Saviour–they will despise it. Dream not that worldlings will

admire you, or that the more holy and the more Christ-like you are, the more

peaceably people will act towards you. They prized not the polished gem, how

should they value the jewel in the rough? “If they have called the Master of

the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household?” If

we were more like Christ, we should be more hated by his enemies. It were a

sad dishonour to a child of God to be the world’s favourite. It is a very ill

omen to hear a wicked world clap its hands and shout “Well done” to the

Christian man. He may begin to look to his character, and wonder whether he

has not been doing wrong, when the unrighteous give him their approbation. Let

us be true to our Master, and have no friendship with a blind and base world

which scorns and rejects him. Far be it from us to seek a crown of honor

where our Lord found a coronet of thorns.

Expect Persecution

It is enough for the disciple to be like his teacher.   Matthew 10:25

No one will dispute this statement, for it would not be proper for the pupil to be exalted above his Teacher. When our Lord was on earth, what was the treatment He received? Were His claims acknowledged, His instructions followed, His perfections worshiped by those whom He came to bless? No. “He was despised and rejected by men.”1 His place was outside the city: Cross-bearing was His occupation. Did the world provide Him with comfort and rest? “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of man has nowhere to lay His head.”2 This inhospitable country provided Him no shelter: It cast Him out and crucified Him.

If you are a follower of Jesus and maintain a consistent, Christlike walk and behavior, you must expect to experience persecution and rejection also. Your Christian testimony will be scrutinized and criticized. People will treat it as they treated the Savior—they will despise it. Do not imagine that pagans will admire you or that the more holy and the more Christlike you are, the more peaceably people will act toward you. If they did not prize the polished gem, do you think that they will esteem the rough cut jewel? If they have referred to Jesus as Satan, how much more will they denigrate the teacher’s disciples? If we were more like Christ, we would be more hated by His enemies.

It is a sad dishonor to a child of God to be the world’s favorite. It is a very bad omen to hear a wicked world clap its hands and shout “Well done” to the Christian man. He may begin to look to his character and wonder whether he has been doing wrong when the unrighteous give him their approval. Let us be true to our Master and have no friendship with a blind and base world that scorns and rejects Him. Far be it from us to seek a crown of honor where our Lord found only a crown of thorns.

1Isaiah 53:3 2Matthew 8:20

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