Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24

When I was an older teenager, I abruptly left home—in anger. I barged out, which I later regretted—leaving relational wreckage and deeply hurting my single parent mom. My unresolved anger led me to make an irrational, selfish decision that could have been resolved with patience and forgiveness: Patience toward my mother—who did her best with what she had, and forgiveness of my own sins of pride, fear and greed. I learned a hard lesson as a hard hearted teen—my unresolved issues with people were a reflection of my unresolved issues with God.

Jesus uses vivid language to make this soberingly clear—no amount of money (a gift), offered as worship for God’s work, can appease unresolved sin with another brother or sister in Christ. The Lord first wants a person’s heart, knowing their money will follow. Jesus knows He has someone’s heart when they are willing to bare their heart with another believer. Confession and repentance to one another is evidence of a healthy community of Christ followers. Humility initiates by asking for and extending forgiveness, while trusting God’s grace for reconciliation. Run toward not away from, unresolved conflict, as faith not fear brings healing to open wounds.

“So, my son—save yourself! Here’s what you need to do: go to that person who became your master with a handshake, humble yourself, and plead your case” (Proverbs 6:3, The Voice).

Who may have a grudge against you that you need to go to and ask forgiveness? Even if in your mind you are only 20% at fault, you still take the first step to say, “I’m sorry, I apologize, will you forgive me?” Be specific about your offense, “Please forgive me for the harsh tone of my words.” Your apology does not mean you have to agree with everything they said or did, but it does mean you want to make things right and heal the relationship. Reconciliation takes time, so be patient, stay in the process, until real healing of the heart takes place. Trust God’s love to heal.

If we ignore the need for reconciliation with people, we hinder our relationship with our heavenly Father. Unresolved smaller issues like a misunderstanding grow into larger issues like gossip or malice. Unresolved issues are like untamed weeds in a yard—but weed patrol with intentional care leads to weed control and a healthy lawn. So, by God’s grace, extend grace and you will receive grace. Reconciliation may take a gallon of mercy to receive a cup of cure, so do your best, trust God with the rest and rest in Him. Run toward the mess, Christ can clean it up.

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18).

Prayer: Heavenly Father, give me the grace to go the extra mile in seeking to reconcile.

Application: Whom do I need to humble myself before, specifically apologizing and asking for their forgiveness?

Related Readings: Mark 9:50; Romans 14:19; 2 Corinthians 13:11; 1 Thessalonians 5:13

 

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