Category Archives: Night Light – James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Two Hundred Laughs

 

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

It’s been said that the average child laughs two hundred times a day, while the typical adult laughs only four times every twenty‐four hours. So what has happened to us grown‐ups? Maybe it has something to do with those grueling hours at the office, long lines at the grocery store, and piles of bills on the kitchen counter.

Of course, life can be very difficult, and some people face serious obstacles and hardships. But many of us frown or complain over relatively minor inconveniences. I (jcd) knew a woman who made herself and her husband miserable just because she had one more child than she had bedrooms in which to put them. Too many irritations come from a complete inability to appreciate the humor and blessings that exist around us. When your husband forgets to take the kids to their dentist appointment, or your wife accidentally gives away your favorite sweatshirt, or your toddler draws his version of the Mona Lisa on the living room wall—wouldn’t it be easier on everyone if you looked on the funny side of the situation?

Kevin Jones, dealing with increasing paralysis from Lou Gehrig’s disease, was asked to describe the worst thing about his condition. He replied, “My wife’s driving! She has to take me everywhere.”

No matter what you’re facing, a smile can only make it better.

Just between us…

  • How often do you laugh each day?
  • Do we keep our heavenly destination in mind when adversity strikes?
  • How could we add humor to the next difficult situation we face?

Dear God, when problems threaten to affect how we treat each other, help us to see them in the perspective of Your unfailing goodness. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – What About Bob?

 

by Phil Callaway

Thanksgiving weekend began the way Bob and Audrey Meisner had planned. Piling a full‐size van high with mattresses, sleeping bags, and children, they drove a thousand miles through the flatlands of Manitoba to the in‐laws in Michigan. It was a beautiful trip. Patchwork prairies sprinkled with lakes stretched toward the horizon. Bare poplar branches held up their arms in surrender to winter. The children counted columns of Canadian geese deserting their homeland and heading for Florida. Neither Bob nor Audrey knew that the beauty of the first leg of their trip would stand in sharp contrast to the journey home.

The weekend was filled with relatives, turkey, and laughter. On Sunday night the Meisners said their good‐byes and headed for home. Leaving at 11:00 P.M., they drove through the night, arriving in Minneapolis about 8:30 the next morning. Though Mom and Dad were tired, the Mall of America beckoned, and it was many hours before they watched the skylines of the Twin Cities disappear in the rearview mirror as they drove toward the setting sun.

When Audrey offered to drive, Bob clambered into the back of the van, where he disappeared behind some sleeping bags and drifted off to sleep.

An hour and a half later, Audrey pulled into a rest stop as quietly as she could, hoping the family would sleep on. As she let the engine idle, she noticed how it seemed to be missing a cylinder, which made her think of Bob’s snoring coming from the back of the van.

After using the restroom, Audrey climbed back into the van, stirred some coffee, took a long sip, and pulled back onto the freeway. Two hours passed quickly as she tapped her fingers to a country gospel station and spun the dial, sampling talk shows. When she arrived in Fargo, North Dakota, the kids began to wake up. But not Bob. Wow, he’s tired, thought Audrey. Her seven‐year‐old appeared in the rearview mirror, rubbing his eyes.

“Go back to sleep, honey,” said his mom.

Suddenly, the peacefulness of the morning was shattered. “Where’s Daddy?” one of the kids asked.

“Very funny,” said Audrey, adjusting the mirror. “He’s back there sleeping… isn’t he?”

The children began pushing pillows aside, looking for Daddy. “Nope,” said her seven‐year‐old, “he’s not back here.”

“Do you think maybe he got raptured?” another child said. “You know, Mom, like you’ve been talking about when Jesus comes to get us?”

Audrey wasn’t laughing. Panic overtook her as she looked for the next exit. Should she turn around and go back? She had no idea where the rest area was. Was it two hours ago? Three?

Calm down, Audrey, she told herself. Then she prayed, Dear Lord, help me find Bob. And please keep him safe, wherever he is.

Pulling into a truck stop, she picked up a pay phone and called the police. “Um… I… uh… left my husband in Minnesota,” she told the officer. “At… well… at a rest stop.”

There was a moment of silence. “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

After a few minutes punctuated by desperation, Audrey was able to convince the man on the other end of the line that this was no joke— that she had left her husband, but not intentionally, although he might be thinking so.

“Tell you what,” said the officer. “You hang on. I’ll get all the numbers of the rest stops in that area. You don’t go anywhere now, ya hear?”

Audrey didn’t go anywhere.

After thanking the officer for his help, she started down the list. One number after another. Each phone call was met with surprise, but no success. Almost out of hope, she dialed the last number on the list. “Do you have a guy there who—?”

“Yaw, I shore do,” said a thick Norwegian accent. Moments later, Bob was on the phone.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” said Audrey. “I didn’t mean to—” Audrey started to cry. And Bob started to laugh.

Two hours earlier he had climbed out of the van to use the restroom. But when he came back, the van was gone.

“Ha,” Bob had said. “Very funny.”

He had walked around the service area three times, expecting to find his family grinning around the next corner. But they were nowhere to be found.

“She wouldn’t leave me like this,” said Bob. “Would she?”

To pass the time, Bob washed people’s windshields and prayed that God would speak loudly to his wife, making his absence apparent. He even climbed in with a trucker who needed some spiritual encouragement. “You know,” the trucker told Bob, “this time with you was a divine appointment. I really needed this.”

“Dear God,” prayed Bob, “please, no more divine appointments tonight.”

Early the next morning, Bob watched the headlights of a familiar van pull into the rest stop. He stopped cleaning windshields and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was a return trip for Audrey. But this time she honked the horn loudly, not caring whom she woke up.

“It’s the first time I ever left him,” she says, laughing now. “Believe me, it will be the last.”

“At first I wondered if the rapture had taken place,” Bob says. “Then it seemed like something out of a horror movie. But I thought, Well, make the most of it.”

Audrey learned a few things, too. “That night I realized the importance of casting all my cares on God. They are His, and He is completely trustworthy…. And I learned that it’s always a good idea to count bodies before you pull out onto the freeway.”

Looking ahead…

It happens to all of us. Just when life seems to be humming along smoothly, something as simple as a trip to the restroom turns into one little surprise after another.

There’s probably no way to avoid such unwanted twists of fate—but we can control our reaction to them. I’ve found that adversity in married life is easier to handle when I choose to face it with a smile instead of a frown. So the next time your spouse leaves you stranded by mistake, remember Bob Meisner. You can stew for hours sitting on the curb—or get up and wash a few windshields.

– James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – No Fault?

“Anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9

One reason divorce has become so common today is the advent of “no‐fault” divorce laws, first introduced in California in 1969. Over the following fifteen years, every state in America adopted some form of no‐fault legislation. And to what result? According to the Statistical Abstract of the United States, since these laws began taking effect the number of divorces in this country has increased 279 percent.

In essence, no‐fault divorce has nullified the sacredness of marriage in the eyes of the law, making it an unenforceable contract. A man and woman can abandon their family more easily than they can abrogate almost any other agreement that bears their signature. In terms of the law, it matters not that they’ve made a solemn promise before God, friends, relatives, a member of the clergy, or a licensed representative of the state.

However, no matter how easy the laws make it to get a divorce, it will always remain infinitely difficult to repair the damage.

Just between us…

  • What would you say to the couple who insist, “Our divorce is nobody’s fault. We just didn’t get along, so we’re going our separate ways”?
  • Do we know anyone who has sought a divorce, only to regret the move?
  • Are we committed to staying together, even through tough times?

Lord, the courts have made it so easy to tear apart that which You have bound

together. Forgive us, forgive our land, and bring us to repentance. Help us keep Your commands as the ultimate law of our marriage and family. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Taking the Plunge

 

“A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:10–11

Divorce often looks like a “quick fix” for an unpleasant situation, but it is usually far more painful than advertised. Contemplating those on the verge of taking this drastic step brings to mind a documentary film made during the early days of motion pictures. It shows a self‐styled inventor near the top of the Eiffel Tower with a pair of homemade wings strapped to his arms. He paces back and forth, trying to work up the courage to jump. If the wings work, he’ll be famous. If they fail, he’ll fall to his death. Finally the “flier” climbs on the rail, wobbles for a moment, then jumps—and drops like a rock.

Depressed and hurting spouses who choose divorce are like that hapless man on the Eiffel Tower. They feel that they can’t go back, and they’re enticed forward by the lure of freedom—of soaring away, leaving the pain and disappointment behind. So they jump… only to find themselves tumbling headlong into custody battles, loneliness, bitterness, and even poverty. In time, the long‐term cost of their decision becomes clear. Some again see their mate’s good qualities, but by then it’s too late. They’ve already taken the plunge.

Just between us…

  • When have you jumped into a situation that you later regretted?
  • Has Scripture ever helped you avoid such a mistake? When?
  • What is the attraction, and danger, of “quick fix” solutions in marriage?
  • Why do you think God commands us to avoid divorce?

Lord of married lovers, You have called us to commitment. When forsaking our covenant seems easier than staying, grant us courage. Help us to recognize the deceitfulness of the divorce “solution.” Protect our marriage from every harm, including our own short-sightedness. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples -Letting Go

 

Bring [your children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

I admit that it was difficult to watch my two children, Danae and Ryan, grow up. I knew they couldn’t remain children forever, and I certainly didn’t want to freeze their development. But I loved every minute of their childhood, and I cherish the memories we created.

I worked especially hard on “letting go” of Danae during her last three years at home. One of the most difficult times occurred when she was fifteen. She was having trouble getting ready for school on time, and I repeatedly rescued her by driving her there at the last minute. Finally, Jim and I agreed that it was time for Danae to accept full responsibility for beating the tardy bell.

One morning Danae missed her carpool ride, and she appeared at my door as I was preparing for an appointment. I ignored her hints about driving her, and we lived too far from school for her to walk. When she realized I wasn’t going to rescue her, she called Dial‐A‐Ride, our city‐sponsored cab company. She gathered her books and sat on the curb in front of our house with her head down, waiting for the cab.

I reluctantly faced one of my most difficult assignments ever. I backed my car out of the driveway and drove off, leaving my beloved teenage daughter dejected and alone. My mind flooded with all the horrible things that could happen to a young girl by herself. I asked God to protect Danae and help her learn from this experience.

The Lord heard my prayer. Danae came bounding into the house after school, threw her books on the table, and wailed, “Oh, Mother! How embarrassing! Do you know what kind of cab Dial‐A‐Ride has? It is a huge, old, beat‐up station wagon. The driver drove me right up in front of the school, and all my friends saw me. Oh, I will never do that again!” The next morning, Danae was up at the crack of dawn.

It’s extremely difficult for loving, caring parents to let their vulnerable children face embarrassment or failure. Our impulse is to bail them out or cover for their irresponsibility. But if we have faith in our objectives—and in our kids—we’ll stay the course and all do some growing up together.

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Stay the Course

 

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:14

I f we believe that the eternal souls of our children hang in the balance, why would we take a casual approach to parenting? If our eyes are fully opened to this awesome assignment, why would we ignore and neglect so great an opportunity? The Good News provides the only satisfactory explanation for why we’re here and where we’re going. When we accept our spiritual responsibility as parents, our entire family is likely to follow our example into eternity: “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household” (Acts 16:31).

Are you the parents of young children or a houseful of teenagers? We understand how difficult it is for you to keep this eternal perspective in mind as you race through your days. We encourage you not to let yourselves become discouraged with the responsibility of parenting. Yes, it is incredibly difficult, and at times you’ll feel like throwing in the towel. But we beg you to stay the course! Get on your knees before the Lord and ask for His strength and wisdom. Finish the job to which He has called you!

There is no more important task in this life.

Just between us…

  • Can we be more intentional in introducing our children to Jesus Christ?
  • How can we keep eternal priorities foremost in our minds?
  • Is there a pressing need we can pray about together tonight?

Lord, nothing will count more in eternity than that we’ve been faithful parents who have helped usher our children into Your presence. Give us strength and wisdom for this task. By Your Spirit, draw our children to You. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – The Bottom Line

 

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

The contradictory advice given in popular culture about what children need is enough to drive a conscientious parent to distraction. In days past, moms and dads learned child‐rearing from their parents, who learned from theirs. Rightly or wrongly, they had a sense of confidence about what they were doing. That’s because the traditional approach to parenting boils down to some very basic ideas.

Here are just a few:

—When your children ask, “Who’s in charge?” tell them.

—When they mutter, “Who loves me?” take them in your arms and surround them with affection.

—When they defiantly challenge you, win decisively. Talk to them. Set up clear boundaries and then enforce the rules firmly and fairly.

—Expose your children to interesting things. Help them use their time wisely.

—Raise them in a stable family with two parents who love each other and enjoy a strong marriage.

—Teach them to love the Lord and understand His Word.

—Treat them with respect and dignity and expect the same in return.

—Set aside time to build friendship and love between generations. Then enjoy the sweet benefits of competent parenthood and a wonderful family!

Just between us…

  • How are we doing on this list of parenting basics?
  • Where do we see progress?
  • Which ones need special attention?

Father, thank You for the timeless wisdom that we can follow to help us raise our children right. May we parent wisely and lovingly, trusting in Your blessing. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – A Tale of Two Homes

 

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25

Suppose that you’re seven years old. You arrive home from school, and your mother welcomes you with a smile and a snack. Later your father comes home. Mom and Dad greet each other with a kiss and loving words. Dad gives you a warm hug. That night, after you finish your homework, the three of you enjoy a family game. Finally, you say your prayers and fall asleep.

Now put yourself in another seven‐year‐old’s place. You come home from school to a mother who, when she’s home at all, is on the phone or watching television. You eat a bag of candy by yourself. Later your father returns. Mom complains about the unfinished garage project. Dad replies angrily and walks past you to the kitchen. You watch television all evening, then crawl into bed and fall asleep listening to your parents argue.

One home is safe and nurturing; the other lonely and contentious. Too often, children grow up in homes like the latter—or worse. So ask yourself: Which scenario best describes your family? Further, how would you describe the mood of your household? Divided or united? Amiable or argumentative? Supportive or sarcastic? Every day, the story of your home is etching itself into the spirit and memory of your children.

Just between us…

  • How does the way we were brought up affect the mood in our household today?
  • How do you think our children would describe our home?
  • How can we make sure our home is a positive environment?

Loving Lord, we know that our relationship sets the tone for our children’s growing-up experience. Help us make our marriage the starting point of a good home and of a happy, Christ-honoring childhood for our kids. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples -Balloons and Children

 

“My time has not yet come.” John 2:4

I (jcd) once attended a wedding in a beautiful garden setting. After the minister told the groom to kiss the bride, about 150 colorful, helium‐filled balloons were released into the blue sky. Within a few seconds the balloons were scattered, some rising hundreds of feet overhead and others cruising toward the horizon. A few balloons struggled to clear the upper branches of the trees, while the showoffs became mere pinpoints of color in the sky.

Like balloons, some boys and girls are born with more helium than others. They soar effortlessly to the heights, while others wobble dangerously close to the trees. Their frantic folks run along underneath, huffing and puffing to keep them airborne.

Are you a parent of a low‐flying child? Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of families whose children were struggling in one way or another. Based on what I’ve seen, let me pass along a word of encouragement to worried parents: Sometimes the child who has the most trouble getting off the ground eventually reaches the greatest height!

Just between us…

  • What kinds of balloons do our kids most resemble?
  • Do we tend to panic when our low‐fliers drift in the wrong direction?
  • Do we love them any less than those who soar?
  • How can we avoid prematurely judging how a child will turn out?
  • How can we pump more “helium” into our relationship with our low‐flier?

Heavenly Father, tonight we ask for wisdom and patience as we raise our children. We let go of our own requirements and timelines for their lives. We trust Your providence and grace. Every day, help us obey You in this great calling of being a parent. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Just Waitin’ For You, Dad

 

In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. Psalm 22:4

A husband and wife on vacation at a lake didn’t notice their three‐year‐old son Billy wandering toward the dock to investigate a boat. He tried to stretch his short legs from the dock to the boat, but didn’t quite make it—and fell into six‐feet‐deep water. The splash brought Dad running. He dove into the murky water, groping with his arms and legs trying to find Billy. His lungs nearly bursting, he pushed toward the surface—and touched Billy, whose arms were locked around a piling four feet underwater. Dad pried him loose, and they hit the surface together, gasping for air. When they had recovered,

Dad asked little Billy what he was doing hanging onto that piling. Billy’s answer: “Just waitin’ for you, Dad.” When his life was on the line, Billy knew his dad would come through. It’s true that fathers bear heavy responsibility for the welfare and protection of their children. We parents have a tough assignment, but most of us wouldn’t have it any other way. The most difficult, important, and wonderful task of all is to teach our kids to trust their heavenly Father even more than they depend on Dad.

Just between us…

  • Did you as a child ever have a close call like Billy’s?
  • Was your father there for you?
  • Are we teaching our kids to depend on the Lord? How can we learn to trust God as much as Billy trusted his dad?

Father, we praise You that You are strong and trustworthy at all times. We say with the psalmist—“The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” May our words, attitudes, and behavior model complete trust in You as a way of life in our home. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

 

by Philip Gulley

M y wife and I waited eight years to have children. I was in college, then graduate school, and I thought I was too busy. My mother had five children in seven years, was principal of a school, and attended college all at the same time. And she did a good job, which I point out to her every Saturday when I visit her at the Home for the Mentally Distraught. Despite our childless state, my wife and I were willing, indeed eager, to share our perspective on child‐rearing with anyone who would listen. Now that we have children, we seldom offer advice. The moment you tell other parents how to raise their kid, the odds increase that your own child will turn up on America’s Most Wanted.

So we don’t give advice anymore, because we’ve realized we don’t know anything about children. Before we had children, we knew everything. Now we have children, and the only parent we feel superior to is Ma Barker.

It’s been hard to admit my ignorance about child‐rearing. It’s easy to be smug when you’re driving home from someone else’s house saying, “When I have children, they will never act like that.” Now when our childless friends visit, I tell them when they leave, “Don’t talk about us on your way home.” They know what I mean.

Most experiences don’t turn out the way we’d planned. Parenting is one of them.

Take Spencer’s second Christmas. Someone in the church gave him a nativity set as a gift. He was particularly taken with the wise men, one of whom he used as tableware. He dipped Balthasar up to his ears in ketchup and licked him clean. My wife said, “Honey, don’t dip the wise man in the ketchup.”

There are many things we anticipated telling our children—things like, “Because I said so, that’s why!” and “Not in this house you won’t!” and even “Don’t put that in the toilet!” But we never imagined ourselves saying, “Don’t dip the wise man in the ketchup.”

That’s the kick about life. We think we have it figured out, but then we wade in and discover otherwise. Kind of like Gomer Pyle used to say, “Surprise, surprise, surprise!”

All in all, this is a good thing. For when our future is sure and certain, when all the corners are tucked in nice and neat, there is no need for faith.

Consider King David. He grew up a shepherd, which was nothing to write home about. If a dog can do your job, it’s time to worry. So David grew up a shepherd, but he died a king. Goes to show we never know what direction life will take.

This is especially true of being a parent. We never know everything there is to know. The only solution is to do your best and trust God for the rest. At least that’s what my sainted mother used to tell me, back in my younger days when I knew it all.

Looking ahead…

Is there any endeavor that husbands and wives are less adequately prepared for than parenting? The task of raising a child is daunting, exhausting, frustrating, discouraging, humbling—and just to keep it interesting, it comes with an unexpected twist around every corner. Yet when guided by dedication and prayer, parenting is also the most fulfilling and wonderful experience in living. And it doesn’t have to be as chaotic as Phil Gulley’s tongue‐in‐cheek description makes it out to be.

Those of you who are parents already realize that you will make mistakes and that you’ll never know it all. But nothing worth accomplishing comes easy anyway, and it’s the very challenge of child rearing that makes success so satisfying. This week we’re going to talk about how to make the most of the experience.

– James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Looking Out For the Single Mom

 

“Look after orphans and widows in their distress.” James 1:27

Many years ago I was working around the house when a knock came at the door. When I opened it, there stood Sally, a young woman in her late teens. “I’m selling brushes,” she said, “and I wonder if you’d like to buy any.” I told her politely that I wasn’t interested in buying anything that day, and Sally said, “I know. No one else is, either.” With that, she began to cry. I invited Sally to come in for a cup of coffee and asked her to share her story. It turned out that she was an unmarried mother who was struggling mightily to support her two‐year‐old son.

That night, we went to her shabby little apartment above a garage to see how we could help her and her toddler. When we opened the cupboards, there was nothing there for them to eat—I mean nothing. That night they both dined on a can of Spaghetti‐Os. We took Sally to the market and did what we could to help her get on her feet. There are millions of single mothers out there who are desperately trying to survive in a hostile world.

All of them could use a little kindness—from babysitting to providing a meal to repairing the washing machine to just showing a little thoughtfulness. Have you opened your eyes to them lately?

Raising kids all alone is the toughest job in the universe. Look around your neighborhood through “God’s eyes.” Is a single mom going down for the third time? How about giving a helping hand? Not only will she be encouraged, but her children will bless you as well.

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – No Junk Allowed

 

“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Seven‐year‐old Chris Krebs was born with cerebral palsy and was profoundly retarded. One day he and his father, Greg, sat in a hospital lounge waiting for Mrs. Krebs, who worked at the hospital. Another man, shabbily dressed and emanating a peculiar aroma, was also waiting there. He looked like a bum or derelict. Greg went to the nurses’ station and asked how much longer his wife would be. When he returned, he saw Chris sitting by the man. The man was sobbing, and Greg wondered what Chris had done to disturb him.

“I’m sorry if my son offended you,” Greg said.

The man replied, “Offended me? Your son is the only person who has hugged me in the last twenty years!” Greg later said, “I realized at that moment Chris had a more Christ-like love for this man than I did.”

Although disrespect for the disabled or less fortunate is characteristic of our culture, we know there is no “junk” in God’s value system. He loves every one of us the same. He sees our potential, and He uses each person to accomplish some part of His purpose. As His children, we’re called to look at everyone through the lens of His perfect love.

When we show compassion and respect to the people who cross our paths from day to day, we are also likely to treat our spouse the same way. It all begins with a spirit of loving‐kindness.

Just between us…

  • Has anyone ever unexpectedly modeled Christ’s love to you?
  • How can we encourage each other to see value and potential in everyone we meet?

Father, may we always be sensitive to the needs and value of other people. Help us to share Your love to them, no matter who they are. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Wandering Sheep

 

“If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine… and go to look for the one that wandered off?” Matthew 18:12

I f you are parents of small children, you know exactly how the shepherds mentioned in the Bible felt as they watched over their flocks. Even for a mother with “eyes in the back of her head,” keeping one active child from wandering off can seem as big a challenge as corralling a hundred sheep!

Jesus is called a shepherd, too, but His flock is all of humanity and He watches over us day and night. That’s why He called Himself the Good Shepherd. He came to earth to die so that not one soul would have to be lost. During His earthly ministry, He was always on the lookout for lost souls. He stayed up late to talk to Nicodemus (John 3:2). He wouldn’t let Zacchaeus hide unnoticed in a tree (Luke 19:5). And when the Pharisees were about to stone a despised adulteress, Jesus intervened with a message of forgiveness and direction—“Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).

Every day, we have divine appointments to lead others into God’s flock—not just our family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers, but also people we’ve never met before and may never see again. God’s wisdom and power are at our disposal. We just have to keep our eyes open.

Just between us…

  • Do you see Jesus as your Good Shepherd? Why or why not?
  • As a couple, are we watching for “lost sheep”?
  • How can we be more watchful for opportunities to reach unbelievers? Is there anyone “lost” with whom we can talk this week?

Lord Jesus, show us how to demonstrate Your great love and compassion to those around us. We, too, want to be shepherds of lost souls. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Split Vision

 

“A wise man’s heart guides his mouth.” Proverbs 16:23

Isn’t it curious how in the midst of a nasty family argument we can shake our bad mood the instant the telephone rings or a neighbor knocks on the door? Have you ever been brought up short by a small voice questioning such a sudden turn to peaches and cream after twenty minutes of fire and brimstone? Sometimes we treat those we love the worst, and kids are quick to recognize this hypocrisy.

Mark Hatfield, a longtime senator from Oregon and the father of four, said his wife once stung him by saying, “I just wish you were as patient with your children as you are with your constituents.” He isn’t alone. We’re all guilty at times of what might be called “split vision”— treating acquaintances with forbearance while losing patience or even heaping contempt on those under our own roof. We assume the worst. We pounce on every shortcoming. We never miss an opportunity to harangue. In the process, we wound the people we care about most.

It’s time we cut one another a little slack at home. If we say our spouses, children, and parents are the most significant people in our lives, we can prove it by showing them the same kindnesses we would bestow on our most honored guests.

Just between us…

  • Are we as patient with each other at home as we are with guests and strangers?
  • Why do you think we can be so hard on each other?
  • How can we encourage each other to avoid this kind of “split vision”?

Father, open our eyes to see one another the way You do. Forgive us for the laziness and selfishness that so easily sour our family relationships. Help us guard our words and actions so that we may be pleasing in Your sight. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Hi There!

Hi There!

by Nancy Dahlberg

One year our family spent the holidays in San Francisco with my husband’s parents. Christmas was on a Sunday that year, and in order for us to be back at work on Monday, we had to drive the four hundred miles back home to Los Angeles on Christmas Day.

When we stopped for lunch in King City, the restaurant was nearly empty. We were the only family, and ours were the only children. I heard Erik, our one‐year‐old, squeal with glee: “Hi there. Hi there.” He pounded his fat baby hands—whack, whack—on the metal tray of the high chair. His face was alive with excitement, eyes wide, gums bared in a toothless grin. He wriggled, chirped, and giggled. Then I saw the source of his merriment—and my eyes could not take it all in at once. It was a man wearing a tattered rag of a coat, obviously bought eons ago, and dirty, greasy, worn pants. His toes poked out of used‐to‐be shoes, and his shirt had ring‐around‐the‐collar all over. He had a face like none other—with gums as bare as Erik’s. “Hi there, baby,” the disheveled man said.

“Hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster.” My husband and I exchanged a look that was a cross between “What do we do?” and “Poor devil.” Our meal came, and the cacophony continued. Now the old bum was shouting from across the room: “Do you know patty‐cake? Atta boy—do ya know peek‐a‐boo? Hey, look—he knows peek‐a‐boo!”

Erik continued to laugh and answer, “Hi there.” Every call was echoed. Nobody thought it was cute. The guy was a drunk and a disturbance. I was embarrassed. My husband, Dennis, was humiliated. Even our six‐year‐old said, “Why is that old man talking so loud?”

As Dennis went to pay the check, he whispered for me to get Erik and meet him in the parking lot. Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik, I prayed as I bolted for the door.

It was soon obvious that both the Lord and Erik had other plans. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back, trying to sidestep him—and any air he might be exhaling. As I did, Erik, with his eyes riveted on his new friend, leaned far over my arm and reached out with both hands in a baby’s “pick me up” position.

In the split second of balancing my baby and turning to counter his weight, I came eye‐to‐eye with the old man. Erik was lunging for him, arms spread wide.

The bum’s eyes both asked and implored, “Would you let me hold your baby?”

There was no need for me to answer because Erik propelled himself from my arms into the man’s. Suddenly a very old man and very young baby clutched each other in a loving embrace. Erik laid his tiny head upon the man’s ragged shoulder. The man’s eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands—roughened by grime and pain and hard labor—gently, so gently, cradled my baby’s bottom and stroked his back.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms for a moment, and then his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm, commanding voice, “You take care of this baby.”

Somehow I managed to squeeze the words “I will” from a throat that seemed to have a stone lodged in it.

He pried Erik from his chest—unwillingly, longingly—as though he were in pain.

I held my arms open to receive my baby, and again the gentleman addressed me.

“God bless you, ma’am. You’ve given me my Christmas gift.” I could only mutter, “Thanks.” With Erik back in my arms, I hurried toward the car. Dennis wondered why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly and saying, “My God, my God, forgive me.”

Looking ahead…

Imagine for a moment viewing the world from a baby’s perspective. Everything would fascinate you: the bright colors, the strange noises, and most certainly, the people. You’d want to touch, taste, and explore each one. Would you avert your eyes at the sight of a friendly bum? Of course not—even if he was toothless. Curious and trusting, you would return the bum’s smile, then hold out your hands to give him a hug.

Babies see the world in a different light, don’t they? They don’t worry about what others think, and they don’t prejudge others on the basis of appearance. Unfortunately, as adults we tend to go “blind”—to each other and to those around us—to what God is doing in our world. This week we’ll talk about how we can learn to see in a fresh way— through God’s loving eyes.

– James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Unrestrained Generosity

 

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us…!” 1 John 3:1

It’s no coincidence that we started this week’s look at generosity with a story about a little boy. Children are often our best teachers.

Years ago during the week of my birthday, our family decided to go for a leisurely stroll through our local shopping center. Ryan, who was eight at the time, opened his piggybank and took out five dollars he had been saving for something special. As we walked along, window shopping and enjoying being together, Ryan announced that he wanted to have some time alone to go to the toy store and pet shop. We set a time and place where we would meet, and off he went. In about thirty minutes, he came walking up with a grin that stretched from ear to ear.

Ryan said, “Here, Mom, this is for your birthday. But you can open it right now!” By the look on his face, it was obvious that he felt strongly about my opening the gift right there in the middle of the mall. So we found a nearby bench. He announced his present had cost a lot of money. (He had spent the entire five dollars on it.)

As shoppers filed by, he watched excitedly while I carefully unwrapped the package. Gazing down at its contents, I was suddenly filled with emotion. His present wasn’t anything he could have found in a toy or pet store. It wasn’t even something you’d expect to receive from an eight‐year‐old boy. There in my lap was a lovely desk set. The ostrich‐feathered white pen looked like an old‐fashioned quill that Ben Franklin might have used to sign the Declaration of Independence. The stand was padded in matching white, with a spray of pink flowers delicately painted around the edges.

My eyes brimmed with tears as I hugged and thanked my son for such an extravagant gift. It has been many years since that day, and I still treasure that pen as a reminder of Ryan’s spontaneous gift of love.

Most of us are too inclined to keep our purses or wallets shut tight against the opportunities for giving that are all around. Or when we give, we give what’s convenient or interesting to us, not to the recipient.

In our marriages, we have so many chances to practice childlike, unrestrained generosity—with no ulterior motive, necessity, or expectation in mind. The more we give and receive that kind of love, the more we will experience the love of God in our homes. I think the apostle John had something like “unrestrained generosity” in mind when he wrote, “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1).

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – A Pitcher’s Dream

 

“A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25

In 1985, Tim Burke achieved a lifelong dream—in fact, almost every boy’s dream—when he signed to pitch for the Montreal Expos. He quickly proved his worth by setting a record for the most relief appearances by a rookie. In the years that followed, Tim and his wife, Christine, adopted four children born with serious illnesses or defects. Neither Tim nor Christine was prepared for the tremendous demands such a family would bring. And with a grueling schedule, Tim was seldom around to help.

In 1993, only three months after signing a new, $600,000 contract, Tim decided to retire. When asked about his amazing decision, he said, “Baseball is going to do just fine without me. But I’m the only father my children have.”

You might ask yourselves as a couple, “Does our current lifestyle, and our dreams and goals, fit with God’s desire that we have a generous spirit?” Tim Burke’s generous spirit caused him to give up his career dream, as well as the wealth it brought. Yet in the end, his act will be worth the sacrifice—his marriage and the well‐being of four lives God placed in his care will reap eternal dividends. That’s God’s idea of a brilliant career move!

Just between us…

  • Have you ever had to give up any of your dreams for someone?
  • How do you feel now about those old dreams?
  • What new dreams do you have for yourself and for us as a couple?
  • How can we help each other achieve them?

Dear Lord, we surrender together whatever selfish dreams or ambitions are keep- ing us from the larger life You have in mind for us. Show us Your better idea. We want to do Your will with joy and expectation, because we trust You. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Shocking with Kindness

 

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

While standing in line at a grocery store checkout a few years ago, I (jcd) noticed that the elderly woman in front of me had filled her cart with more food than she could pay for. “I just don’t understand where my money is,” she said as she desperately searched the depths of her purse. I whispered to the checker, “Total her bill, then accept whatever money she has, and put the rest on my bill.” I paid an extra eight dollars to make up the difference. The old woman never knew I had helped her, but after she shuffled away, the checker had big tears in her eyes.

“I’ve been doing this work for twenty years,” she said, “and I’ve never seen anyone do something like that before.”

It was no big deal—an insignificant eight dollars—yet kind gestures are so rare today that many people find them shocking. As a husband and wife commissioned to demonstrate God’s compassion to our world, we can make a tremendous impact through simple acts of kindness.

Just between us…

  • What small kindness did I do for you this week that you appreciated?
  • Am I treating you and others around us as kindly as I should?
  • How does “shocking kindness” contribute to our witness for Christ?
  • How can we be shockingly kind more often?

O Lord, Your kindness changed us forever. Your love broke into our lives most unexpectedly. Thank You so much! Empower us to love just like that. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Someone Is Listening

 

“[The righteous] are always generous and lend freely; their children will be blessed.” Psalm 37:26

Be careful what you say in the presence of your babies. That’s the advice of a researcher at Johns Hopkins University, who tells us that children only eight months of age are capable of hearing and remembering words, good and bad. In a study by Dr. Peter Juscyzk, babies were exposed to three recorded stories for a period of about ten days. When they were tested in the lab two weeks later, they clearly recognized the words in the stories but failed to respond to those they hadn’t heard. According to Robin Chapman, a University of Wisconsin language specialist, the study demonstrates that very young children attend to the sounds of language and are able to pick out those that are familiar. Chapman concludes that “a lot of language learning is happening in the first year of life.”

Whether we like it or not, almost everything we say and do is observed and recorded—by the patrolman with a radar gun, by the convenience store video camera, and even by our young children. If our marriage models a spirit of generosity worth imitating, it will lead to blessings for everyone.

Just between us…

  • What are some of your earliest memories of your parents’ words and actions?
  • If we videotaped ourselves, would we be pleased by what we saw?
  • Besides each other, whom do we influence with our everyday words and deeds? Are we modeling a spirit of generosity for them?

Lord, we know that our every action has a tremendous impact on those around us, and we want to be mature, responsible and positive ambassadors for You. Help us glorify You in how we think, act, and speak. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson