Category Archives: Night Light – James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – The Mystery of Romance

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“Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” Song of Songs 8:7

No matter how hard we try to define romance, it remains in part a mystery. Yet Solomon’s Song of Songs does give us several clues to its nature. In this evocative description of romantic love, we see that it means both intimacy and intense emotional excitement: “My lover is mine and I am his” (2:16); “My heart began to pound for him” (5:4). We see how deep affection inspires desire and complete appreciation for another: “How beautiful you are, my darling!” (4:1). We learn that to be romantic means to pursue the object of our affection—and to pine when he or she eludes us: “All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him” (3:1). And we see how powerfully a public display of affection communicates romantic love: “He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love” (2:4).

Most important of all, we learn that God intended romance to culminate in the unbreakable bond of married love. The book of Songs reaches its climax with a description of the power of love: “Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame” (8:6). The Lord would not have provided us with this scriptural celebration of love and romance unless He intended it as an inspiring example for us.

Just between us…

  • How does Song of Songs demonstrate the importance of romance?
  • How can romance encourage love “like a mighty flame”?
  • In light of today’s reading, would you alter your definition of romance in any way?

Heavenly Father, thank You for the blessing of romantic attraction. May my spouse and I pursue each other joyfully and creatively all of our days. Amen.

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – Set Up For Disappointment

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“Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save.” Psalm 146:3

The media continually bombard us with images of broken trust: spouses who cheat on each other; politicians who break promises; corporate chiefs who steal from their employees.

The list goes on and on. People in positions of responsibility should be held accountable to the highest moral and ethical standards. Yet each of these people is a mortal creature with a natural bent toward sin. The minute we begin placing our deepest faith and trust in human beings, we set ourselves up for severe disappointment.

What does this mean for marriage? Even in the best of relationships, husbands and wives may err and break the other’s trust. That’s why we must rely on God’s power—not our own—to lead honorable lives. When husbands and wives commit themselves to live according to God’s ways, a bond of trust develops between them. Though none of us is perfect, we can give our heart confidently to our spouse when we know that he or she is genuinely seeking to follow God and His guidelines.

Just between us…

  • Has someone in a position of responsibility ever broken your trust?
  • Is it ever difficult for you to trust me?
  • Knowing our sinful nature, how can we still earn each other’s trust?
  • How do you think the Lord blesses spouses who trust each other?
  • How might we develop an even deeper level of trust in our relationship?

Heavenly Father, thank You that You are completely worthy of our trust. As my spouse and I commit ourselves to being trustworthy with each other, empower us by Your Spirit. Grant us grace when we fail. And bless us, we pray, with joy and confidence as we make trustworthiness a priority. Amen.

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – Decisions, Decisions

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“The head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

Among the most controversial Scriptures are those relating to a wife’s obligation to “submit” to a husband’s leadership. This principle offends many women. Furthermore, it places power in the hands of men who sometimes misuse it. And yet, there it is, time and again: “The husband is head of the wife.” Those words can’t be brushed aside by those who rely on Scripture as their infallible guide. But what does this “headship” really mean?

The Bible makes it clear that the husband is to be the leader in his home, yet he has no right to run roughshod over the opinions and feelings of his wife. He is to love her as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) and to serve her unselfishly and compassionately. A man should include his wife in making mutually satisfying decisions, always working to incorporate her perspectives and seeking compromise when possible. In situations where they simply cannot find common ground, Scripture gives the man the prerogative—and responsibility—to choose and lead. Yet in this case, he must be more sensitive and considerate than ever, bearing in mind that he will ultimately answer to God not only for his choices, but for his treatment of his wife.

Just between us…

  • (husband) How would you rate my leadership as your husband?
  • Does our decision‐making process fit the biblical model? (wife)
  • How do you feel about your role as “leader in the home”?
  • (husband) Am I sensitive to your feelings regarding decisions?

Heavenly Father, in Your divine plan for marriage You have asked the husband to lead and the wife to submit, and we want so much to obey You. We come humbly now, asking for Your wisdom and help to do so. Amen.
From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – The Power of Prayer By Shirley Dobson

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“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

I’ll never forget the evening that Jim and I, exhausted after a long day, collapsed into bed without completing our usual practice of praying about many things, but especially for our children. We were almost asleep when I remembered.

“Jim,” I said, “we haven’t prayed for our kids yet today. Don’t you think we should talk to the Lord?”

It wasn’t easy, but we crawled out of bed, got on our knees, and offered yet another prayer for our children’s well‐being.

Later we learned that at the exact moment we were praying, a strange‐looking man sought by the police tried to get into the parked car where our daughter, Danae, and a girlfriend were sharing a fast‐food meal. By the grace of God, the door was locked, and Danae was able to start the car quickly and escape.

Never underestimate the power of prayer. When your petition is also for God’s will, it will bring you closer to the heavenly Father, who loves you unconditionally.

Just between us…

  • Can you share a personal example of the power of prayer?
  • As a couple, do we usually rely on prayer and God’s power, or do we usually try to solve our problems ourselves?
  • Who among our friends and family needs prayer right now?
  • How can I pray for you tonight?

Lord, thank You for the awesome power You make available to us through prayer. May all our requests honor You and help release Your best in our relationship. Amen.

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – Love By Serving

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“Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.” John 13:14

Husband, we’re speaking especially to you tonight. Just as selfishness is a sure marriage killer, an attitude of service and sacrifice—the “I’m Third” philosophy—is an indisputable marriage builder. We urge you to study your wife. What is it that speaks to her heart?

Are you providing that for her? Would she appreciate help with the dishes, vacuuming, or changing the baby’s diaper? Should you be more romantic? Could you put off that weekend auto show so she can visit her sister? Maybe you’d rather go fishing on Saturday, but should you watch the kids instead so your wife can have a needed day out?

Jesus gave us a classic example of service when He washed His disciples’ feet and told them to do the same for one another. Is it time for some symbolic “foot washing” in your marriage? Women are romantic creatures. God made them that way. Have you tried to understand that tender nature and sought to meet the needs it expresses?

Here’s the personal payoff: If you as a husband will address this romantic longing, your wife, being a responder, will be drawn closer to you. You’ll get the kind of attention and admiration you hope for. Try it!

Just between us…

  • (husband) When have I done a good job of “foot washing” in our marriage?
  • (husband) Do you feel I understand your romantic nature? Why or why not?
  • (husband) Have I met your needs during the past week?
  • (husband) Dear Lord, I want to become an expert at meeting my wife’s needs.

Teach me to “wash her feet” and serve my way to a great marriage. Amen.

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – I Love You!

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“This is my command: Love each other.” John 15:17

One of the best ways to sustain true love between you and your mate is to build a bridge of loving memories. I am reminded of a husband named Jim who was tragically killed in an accident while driving home from work. It was his wife Carol’s fiftieth birthday. Rescue teams found two plane tickets to Hawaii in his pocket; he had planned to surprise Carol with them.

Months later, Carol was asked how she was coping. She answered that on their wedding day, she and Jim had promised to say “I love you” before noon each day of their marriage. Over the years it had become a fun—and often difficult—challenge. She recalled running down the driveway saying “I love you,” even though she was angry at Jim. On other occasions she drove to his office to drop a note in his car before the noon deadline. The effort it took to keep that promise led to many positive memories of their years together.

The morning Jim died, he left a birthday card in the kitchen, then slipped out to the car. Carol heard the engine starting and raced outside. She banged on the car window until he rolled it down, then yelled over the roar of the engine, “Here on my fiftieth birthday, Mr. James E. Garret, I, Carol Garret, want to go on record as saying ‘I love you!'”

“That’s how I’ve survived,” Carol said later. “Knowing that the last words I said to Jim were I love you!”

We can build bridges across the span of our lives in many ways— with cards and flowers, through special shared moments, or, like Jim and Carol, with a simple “I love you” expressed each day. Cherished memories established over the course of your marriage will give you and your mate the foundation for a genuine love that endures a lifetime.

Shirley M. Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light – The Moment Life Begins

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“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

I f you and your mate genuinely want to experience true love— the kind that lasts throughout eternity—you must face the truth about your standing before God. According to the Bible, we are all born with a sinful nature (Romans 3:23). This sin problem prevents us from living God’s way, whether as individuals or as a married couple. In fact, unresolved sin will block even your best efforts to have a successful marriage, because the inescapable outcome of sin is slavery to our worst impulses and—eventually—death (Romans 6:23).

But there is a wonderful alternative! Jesus Christ paid the price for your sin through His death on the cross. And through His miraculous resurrection, He rescued you from eternal destruction. You can reach out in faith to receive your free gift of new life. Jesus put the Good News this way: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16).

It really is that simple: If you choose to repent of your sin and receive the gift of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ, you will be forgiven and receive His gift of eternal life.

If you do not know Jesus Christ in this intimate way, we invite you to offer the following prayer tonight. For every human being who invites Jesus into his or her heart, that is the moment real life begins!

Just between us…

  • Have each of us made a choice to receive God’s gift of salvation?
  • If not, what is keeping us from making that choice?

God, I am a sinner in need of You. I can’t live right or hope for eternal life on my own. Please forgive my sins. I believe that Jesus Christ is Your only Son. You sent Him to die in my place and set me free from sin. Thank You! Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Night Light - James & Shirley Dobson

The Third Party – Night Light

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“No one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 3:11

To experience genuine love with our mate, we must bring a third party into the equation—Jesus Christ. Only through this spiritual connection with Him can we begin to fulfill all the potential of the relationship we call marriage.

Anyone who studies the Bible will recognize numerous principles woven throughout that apply to married life. Judeo‐Christian values have effectively guided men and women from the beginning. These values were inspired by the Creator Himself, the originator of the institution of marriage. No matter what society says, or how laws change, the precepts that make up this scriptural system remain the way to find love and happiness in life.

Establishing a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the critical first step toward attaining every meaningful goal, including the intimacy we all seek. If you haven’t already given your heart to Him, we urge you to do so. It will bring meaning and purpose to every dimension of your life—including your marriage. Tomorrow we’ll explain how.

Just between us…

  • How have we been putting biblical principles to work in our marriage?
  • How can I encourage you to spend more time in God’s Word?
  • Have we both personally invited Jesus Christ to be Lord of our lives and of our marriage? If not, can we take that life‐changing step right now?

Lord Jesus, You are the foundation of our marriage. Help us look to You and Your strength in every way as we build a life together. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
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Happily Ever After? – Night Light

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“Are you married? Do not seek a divorce.” 1 Corinthians 7:27

What you have observed by looking around your social circles is born out by the numbers: According to nearly every relevant statistic, the institution of marriage is in serious trouble. The Council on Families in America reports that half of first marriages are likely to end in divorce. The National Center for Health Statistics tells us that the number of Americans choosing to marry is declining. And Brent Barlow, professor of family sciences at Brigham Young University, says that if cohabitation and divorce trends continue, “married” could become a minority status within ten years.

Obviously, millions of couples who were once deeply in love and believed they were wonderfully suited for each other are seeing their marriages fall apart. If you and your spouse are going to beat the odds, you will need to bring dedication and hard work to your relationship.

Does this challenge seem more like a threat than a promise? We have good news. First, couples who are willing to invest in their relationship will find the greatest fulfillment and meaning that life has to offer. That is the promise of a godly marriage. Statistics bear this fact out too! Second, you need not try to beat the odds alone. In fact, you were never meant to. But more on that tomorrow…

Just between us…

  • What, specifically, does having a “happy marriage” mean to you?
  • Are you happy? Why or why not?
  • What can I do to bring more happiness to your life?

Heavenly Father, You designed the covenant of marriage from the beginning, and our marriage belongs to You. So bless our union with Your best! Draw us together, and draw us to You. Amen.

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Love at First Sight – Night Light

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“Love is of God.” 1 John 4:7

Some people believe that true love can occur the moment a man and woman lay eyes on each other. But “love at first sight” is a physical and emotional impossibility because you cannot love someone you don’t even know. You have simply been drawn to the package in which they live.

A lifelong emotional attachment is much more than a romantic feeling. It is more than a sexual attraction or the thrill of the chase or a desire to get married. Such feelings usually indicate infatuation and tend to be temporary and rather selfish in nature. A person may say, “I can’t believe what is happening to me. This is the most fantastic thing I’ve ever experienced! I must be in love.” Notice that those who make these statements are not talking about the other person—they’re excited about their own gratification. Such individuals haven’t fallen in love with someone else; they’ve fallen in love with love.

Genuine love is not something one “falls” into, as though he or she was tumbling into a ditch. One cannot love an unknown object, regardless of how beautiful or handsome it is. Only when a person begins to develop a deep appreciation and admiration for another—an intense awareness of his or her needs, strength, and character—has one begun to experience true love. From there, it should grow for a lifetime.

Just between us…

  • Do you remember thinking that you were in love as a teenager, only to have that feeling fade over time?
  • What did you think and feel when we first met?
  • How did God show you that I should be your marriage partner?

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the wonderful gift of love. Grant us your blessings, Father—more than we can even imagine right now! Amen.

  • From Night Light for Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson