Tag Archives: Night Light for Couples

Night Light for Couples – Healthy Hope

 

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for.” Hebrews 11:1

Hope based on the realistic expectation that something can or will change is a powerful, positive, driving force. It motivates us to do our best and helps us achieve what may seem impossible to others. But naive hope that’s grounded in wishful thinking can be deeply disappointing and even destructive. I (jcd) know a woman—I’ll call her Martha—who was hurt repeatedly by her father’s lack of interest in her. As long as Martha continued to hope he would change, she suffered a fresh wound whenever he missed an important family event or failed to consider her feelings. I urged Martha to realize that her father was emotionally blind—he was incapable of seeing her needs.

Once she began to accept his “handicap” as permanent, her pain lessened considerably. Your partner’s temperament or experiences may prevent him or her from fully comprehending your feelings and frustrations. My advice is that you change what can be altered, explain what can be understood, teach what can be learned, revise what can be improved, resolve what can be settled, and negotiate what is open to compromise.

Then determine to accept the rest. As you overlook these few “unresolvables” in your relationship, you’ll develop a perspective that brings realistic hope for an honest and satisfying marriage.

Just between us…

  • What kinds of changes do we hope to see in each other? Are our hopes realistic? ‘
  • Would it help our relationship to accept our “unresolvables”?
  • What in our marriage gives you the greatest sense of hope?

Father, thank You that You are “the God of all hope.” Tonight we look to You for help in bringing honest, healing hope to our marriage. Show us what we can change, show us what we should accept, and bless us with hope. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Tranquility

 

“Be at peace with each other.” Mark 9:50

If you don’t protect yourselves from outside stresses, married life can seem more like a marathon than a stroll in the park. With relentless pressure at work, a demanding schedule of carpooling and sports, and the stress of keeping up with home and church duties, moms and dads can begin to lose heart. Then fatigue and irritability set in, angry words are spoken, and soon every member of the family is at one another’s throats.

All of us, especially at the end of pressure‐packed days, need a safe retreat. As a working husband or wife, you need a chance to unwind privately for a while when you first come home. School kids (teenagers, too) need uninterrupted “down time” on a regular basis. No one can keep up a frenetic schedule for long without it affecting his or her attitude.

Jesus told His followers to “be at peace with each other.” If you’re finding hopefulness in short supply in your marriage, maybe it’s time you get off the treadmill of continuous stress. If it’s just the expectations of others that is keeping you on the run, say “no” more often. Take an afternoon off. Get a babysitter so you can have some time to yourself. Set aside quiet time regularly—and guard it. Slow down your mealtimes together. Simplify.

As you make a priority of creating tranquility at home, you’ll feel your heart lifting and hope returning.

Just between us…

  • When you feel overwhelmed by demands, do you ever lose hope?
  • How can we do a better job of protecting each other’s “down time”?
  • How can tranquility at home promote a better spiritual life?

Dear God, forgive us when we allow external demands to dictate the quality of our home life. Give us the foresight and discipline to create a sanctuary of peace and renewal. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – The World’s Most Opposite Couple

 

“We must obey God rather than men!” Acts 5:29

Authors and counselors Chuck and Barb Snyder describe themselves as the “World’s Most Opposite Couple”—and it may be true. Chuck says the only things they have in common are the same wedding anniversary and the same children. He’s driven; she’s laid‐back. She enjoys soft classical music; he prefers country western at maximum volume. She’s left‐handed; he’s right‐handed. And so it goes. Perhaps in part because of their differences, the Snyders have experienced nearly every imaginable conflict in marriage— over scheduling, communication, home life, finances, discipline of the children, and more. In over forty years of marriage, however, the Snyders have learned to appreciate their differences. They have faced, and weathered, more than their share of storms. The key, Chuck says, is nothing fancy—simply obedience to the Lord. If there’s hope for the World’s Most Opposite Couple, there’s hope for the rest of us, too.

Just between us…

  • Were you attracted by my “opposite” traits when we were dating?
  • Have we survived despite our differences, or because of them?
  • Do we accept the uniqueness of each other as God designed us, or do we struggle to “redesign” each other in our own images?
  • Which of my traits that are different from yours do you appreciate most?

Heavenly Lord, thank You for the differences that You weave together to make our marriage strong. Help us to respect, appreciate, and affirm these unique qualities more each day. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – The Girl with the Apple

 

by Herman and Roma Rosenblat

It is bitter cold on this dark, winter day in 1944. But it is no different than any other day in the Nazi concentration camp. Back and forth I pace, trying to keep my emaciated body warm. I am just a boy, and hungry. I have been hungry for longer than I want to remember. Edible food seems like a dream. Each day, as more of us disappear, the happy past seems also like a dream, and I sink deeper into despair.

Suddenly, I see something moving in the field beyond the camp’s two barbed wire fences. Families are working in the field; near the outer fence is a young girl. With an eye out for the guards, I hurry to the inside fence.

The girl stops working and looks at me with sad eyes—eyes that seem to say she understands. I ask, across twenty feet and two fences, if she has something to eat. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a red apple. A beautiful, shiny red apple. She looks to the left and to the right and then with a smile of triumph, throws the apple over the fences. I pick it up, holding it in trembling, frozen fingers, then run away as fast as I can. If the guards see us, we will both be shot.

The next day, I cannot help myself—I am drawn at the same time to that spot near the fences. Am I crazy for hoping she will come again? Of course. But in here, I cling to any tiny scrap of hope.

She comes. And again, she brings an apple, flinging it over the fences with that same sweet smile. This time I catch it and hold it up for her to see. Her eyes twinkle. And for the first time in so long, I feel my heart move with emotion.

For seven months we meet like this. Sometimes we exchange a few words. Sometimes, just an apple. But she is feeding more than my belly, this angel from heaven. She is feeding my soul. And somehow, I know I am feeding hers as well.

One day I hear frightening news: We are being shipped to another camp. The next day when I greet her, my heart is breaking. I can barely speak. “Do not bring me an apple tomorrow,” I say. “I am being sent to another camp. We will never see each other again.” Turning before I lose all control, I run away. I cannot bear to look back. If I did, I know she would see tears streaming down my face.

Months pass, and the nightmare continues. Only the memory of this girl sustains me. And then one day, just like that, the nightmare is over. The war has ended. Those of us still alive are freed. I have lost everything precious to me, including my family. But I still have the memory of this girl, a memory I carry in my heart as I move to America to start a new life.

The years go by. It is 1957. I live in New York City. A friend convinces me to go on a blind date with a lady friend of his. Reluctantly, I agree. But she is nice, this woman named Roma. And like me, she is an immigrant, so we have at least that in common.

“Where were you during the war?” Roma asks me gently, in that delicate way immigrants ask one another such questions.

“I was in a concentration camp in Germany,” I reply. Roma gets a faraway look in her eyes. “What is it?” I ask. “I am just thinking about something from my past, Herman,”

Roma explains in a voice suddenly very soft. “You see, when I was a young girl, I lived near a concentration camp. There was a boy there, a prisoner, and for a long while, I used to visit him every day. I remember I used to bring him apples. I would throw the apple over the fence, and he would be so happy.”

Roma sighs heavily and continues. “It is hard to describe how we felt about each other—after all, we were so young, and we only exchanged a few words when we could—but I can tell you, there was much love there. I assume he was killed like so many others. But I cannot bear to think that, and so I try to remember him as he was for those months we were given together.”

With my heart pounding so hard I think it will explode, I look directly at Roma and ask, “And did that boy say to you one day, ‘Do not bring me an apple tomorrow. I am being sent to another camp’?” “Why, yes,” Roma responds, her voice trembling. “But Herman, how on earth could you possibly know that?” I take her hands in mine and answer, “Because I was that young boy, Roma.” For many moments, there is only silence. We cannot take our eyes from each other as we recognize the soul behind the eyes, the dear friend we once loved so much, whom we have never stopped loving.

Finally, I speak: “Roma, I was separated from you once, and I don’t ever want to be separated from you again. Now I am free, and I want to be together with you forever. Dear, will you marry me?”

I see that same twinkle in her eye I used to see as Roma says, “Yes, I will marry you.” We embrace—the embrace we longed to share for so many months, but barbed wire came between us. Now, nothing ever will again.

Looking ahead…

This fictional story offers a powerful glimpse of hope in the midst of terror.

Can any of us live without hope? I think not. Without hope, we have no reason to get out of bed in the morning… no motivation to complete our daily tasks at work, home, church… no desire to take on the sometimes dizzying array of problems in our world. A life without hope is a life without meaning.

Yet as Christians, we always have hope. In Jesus Christ, we have a holy protector, friend, confidante, and guide. We have a reserved seat in heaven that promises unimaginable joy. This is what gives us the endurance, patience, and motivation to bring glory to our Creator during this imperfect existence. In the days ahead, we’ll talk more about how hope can strengthen our marriage.

John tells us, “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life” (John 3:36). Can you imagine a greater source of hope?

– James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Tomato Juice Wars

 

“Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.” Psalm 126:2

One of the things that first drew me to Jim was his wonderful sense of humor. Even on our first few dates back in 1957, he made me laugh more than any guy I had dated. I loved that about him. He had a clever way of seeing the world around him, and his graphic descriptions were legendary at Pasadena College, where we met. After all these years, we still love to laugh together.

Once when we were flying home from a conference, the flight attendant set a glass of tomato juice on the armrest between us. We both forgot it was there, and Jim knocked it off on my side. About half of the contents landed in my lap.

For some reason, Jim thought that was funnier than I did. While he was laughing with his eyes shut, I poured the other half of the tomato juice in his lap. He was still chuckling when the cold juice soaked through to his skin. Then the shock hit him, and the two of us laughed until we had tears in our eyes. It was very difficult to explain what had happened when friends met us at the airport. We looked as though we had attacked each other with chainsaws!

We don’t do wild things like that every day, but we try to take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy life. I know that it has helped us cope with the pressures we’ve experienced along the way. It will help you and your marriage, too.

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – A Lighthearted Spirit

 

“May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

As Christians who want to bring joy to our marriages, we might do well to remember the words of baseball great (and occasional comedian) Yogi Berra: “Ninety percent of the game is half mental.” We could say the same about life: It’s how we look at circumstances that makes all the difference. For Christians, it’s not just how we look at things; it’s at Whom we’re looking. “Rejoice in the Lord and be glad,” wrote David (Psalm 32:11). Paul gave the same advice to the Philippians. And the author of Hebrews wrote: “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross….” (Hebrews 12:2). Couples who keep Jesus Christ as Lord of their home seem to laugh more often and cultivate hope in their marriages more easily. Why? Because when Jesus carries the weight of your worries, your needs, and your future, lighthearted living is the natural result.

God gave us a sense of humor to help us stay “half mental” in our marriage, and surely He wants us to use and enjoy it!

Just between us…

  • Do you think Jesus often laughed? Do you think we would laugh more if we trusted God more?
  • What steps can we take to bring a lighthearted spirit into our home?
  • How can we worship God by our attitudes about life’s little hassles?

Most amazing God, thank You for making humor possible in our world. Forgive us when selfishness, fear, or faithlessness rob us of laughter. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Tummy Ticklers

 

“The cheerful heart has a continual feast.” Proverbs 15:15

For those dismal days when you’re in desperate need of a laugh, you might start a humor file filled with surefire tummy ticklers. Here are a few to get you started, all reported to be genuine entries from church bulletins:

—Ushers will eat latecomers.

—The third verse of “Blessed Assurance” will be sung without musical accomplishment.

—Tonight’s sermon: “What Is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.

—Barbara remains in the hospital. She is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack’s sermons.

—The choir will meet at the Larsen house for fun and sinning.

—The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”

—Next Thursday will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

—The cost for attending the Fasting Prayer conference includes meals.

—Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands!

Just between us…

  • What is your favorite joke or funny family story?
  • Would those with whom we share Jesus Christ describe us as good‐humored or somber?
  • How would our children describe us?
  • Is there a lot of laughter in our home?

Heavenly Father, we know that a cheerful heart is a blessing to ourselves and others and a response of genuine trust in You. We ask that Your joy bubble up in our daily lives. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Two Hundred Laughs

 

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

It’s been said that the average child laughs two hundred times a day, while the typical adult laughs only four times every twenty‐four hours. So what has happened to us grown‐ups? Maybe it has something to do with those grueling hours at the office, long lines at the grocery store, and piles of bills on the kitchen counter.

Of course, life can be very difficult, and some people face serious obstacles and hardships. But many of us frown or complain over relatively minor inconveniences. I (jcd) knew a woman who made herself and her husband miserable just because she had one more child than she had bedrooms in which to put them. Too many irritations come from a complete inability to appreciate the humor and blessings that exist around us. When your husband forgets to take the kids to their dentist appointment, or your wife accidentally gives away your favorite sweatshirt, or your toddler draws his version of the Mona Lisa on the living room wall—wouldn’t it be easier on everyone if you looked on the funny side of the situation?

Kevin Jones, dealing with increasing paralysis from Lou Gehrig’s disease, was asked to describe the worst thing about his condition. He replied, “My wife’s driving! She has to take me everywhere.”

No matter what you’re facing, a smile can only make it better.

Just between us…

  • How often do you laugh each day?
  • Do we keep our heavenly destination in mind when adversity strikes?
  • How could we add humor to the next difficult situation we face?

Dear God, when problems threaten to affect how we treat each other, help us to see them in the perspective of Your unfailing goodness. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – What About Bob?

 

by Phil Callaway

Thanksgiving weekend began the way Bob and Audrey Meisner had planned. Piling a full‐size van high with mattresses, sleeping bags, and children, they drove a thousand miles through the flatlands of Manitoba to the in‐laws in Michigan. It was a beautiful trip. Patchwork prairies sprinkled with lakes stretched toward the horizon. Bare poplar branches held up their arms in surrender to winter. The children counted columns of Canadian geese deserting their homeland and heading for Florida. Neither Bob nor Audrey knew that the beauty of the first leg of their trip would stand in sharp contrast to the journey home.

The weekend was filled with relatives, turkey, and laughter. On Sunday night the Meisners said their good‐byes and headed for home. Leaving at 11:00 P.M., they drove through the night, arriving in Minneapolis about 8:30 the next morning. Though Mom and Dad were tired, the Mall of America beckoned, and it was many hours before they watched the skylines of the Twin Cities disappear in the rearview mirror as they drove toward the setting sun.

When Audrey offered to drive, Bob clambered into the back of the van, where he disappeared behind some sleeping bags and drifted off to sleep.

An hour and a half later, Audrey pulled into a rest stop as quietly as she could, hoping the family would sleep on. As she let the engine idle, she noticed how it seemed to be missing a cylinder, which made her think of Bob’s snoring coming from the back of the van.

After using the restroom, Audrey climbed back into the van, stirred some coffee, took a long sip, and pulled back onto the freeway. Two hours passed quickly as she tapped her fingers to a country gospel station and spun the dial, sampling talk shows. When she arrived in Fargo, North Dakota, the kids began to wake up. But not Bob. Wow, he’s tired, thought Audrey. Her seven‐year‐old appeared in the rearview mirror, rubbing his eyes.

“Go back to sleep, honey,” said his mom.

Suddenly, the peacefulness of the morning was shattered. “Where’s Daddy?” one of the kids asked.

“Very funny,” said Audrey, adjusting the mirror. “He’s back there sleeping… isn’t he?”

The children began pushing pillows aside, looking for Daddy. “Nope,” said her seven‐year‐old, “he’s not back here.”

“Do you think maybe he got raptured?” another child said. “You know, Mom, like you’ve been talking about when Jesus comes to get us?”

Audrey wasn’t laughing. Panic overtook her as she looked for the next exit. Should she turn around and go back? She had no idea where the rest area was. Was it two hours ago? Three?

Calm down, Audrey, she told herself. Then she prayed, Dear Lord, help me find Bob. And please keep him safe, wherever he is.

Pulling into a truck stop, she picked up a pay phone and called the police. “Um… I… uh… left my husband in Minnesota,” she told the officer. “At… well… at a rest stop.”

There was a moment of silence. “Sorry, could you repeat that?”

After a few minutes punctuated by desperation, Audrey was able to convince the man on the other end of the line that this was no joke— that she had left her husband, but not intentionally, although he might be thinking so.

“Tell you what,” said the officer. “You hang on. I’ll get all the numbers of the rest stops in that area. You don’t go anywhere now, ya hear?”

Audrey didn’t go anywhere.

After thanking the officer for his help, she started down the list. One number after another. Each phone call was met with surprise, but no success. Almost out of hope, she dialed the last number on the list. “Do you have a guy there who—?”

“Yaw, I shore do,” said a thick Norwegian accent. Moments later, Bob was on the phone.

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” said Audrey. “I didn’t mean to—” Audrey started to cry. And Bob started to laugh.

Two hours earlier he had climbed out of the van to use the restroom. But when he came back, the van was gone.

“Ha,” Bob had said. “Very funny.”

He had walked around the service area three times, expecting to find his family grinning around the next corner. But they were nowhere to be found.

“She wouldn’t leave me like this,” said Bob. “Would she?”

To pass the time, Bob washed people’s windshields and prayed that God would speak loudly to his wife, making his absence apparent. He even climbed in with a trucker who needed some spiritual encouragement. “You know,” the trucker told Bob, “this time with you was a divine appointment. I really needed this.”

“Dear God,” prayed Bob, “please, no more divine appointments tonight.”

Early the next morning, Bob watched the headlights of a familiar van pull into the rest stop. He stopped cleaning windshields and breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was a return trip for Audrey. But this time she honked the horn loudly, not caring whom she woke up.

“It’s the first time I ever left him,” she says, laughing now. “Believe me, it will be the last.”

“At first I wondered if the rapture had taken place,” Bob says. “Then it seemed like something out of a horror movie. But I thought, Well, make the most of it.”

Audrey learned a few things, too. “That night I realized the importance of casting all my cares on God. They are His, and He is completely trustworthy…. And I learned that it’s always a good idea to count bodies before you pull out onto the freeway.”

Looking ahead…

It happens to all of us. Just when life seems to be humming along smoothly, something as simple as a trip to the restroom turns into one little surprise after another.

There’s probably no way to avoid such unwanted twists of fate—but we can control our reaction to them. I’ve found that adversity in married life is easier to handle when I choose to face it with a smile instead of a frown. So the next time your spouse leaves you stranded by mistake, remember Bob Meisner. You can stew for hours sitting on the curb—or get up and wash a few windshields.

– James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – No Fault?

“Anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9

One reason divorce has become so common today is the advent of “no‐fault” divorce laws, first introduced in California in 1969. Over the following fifteen years, every state in America adopted some form of no‐fault legislation. And to what result? According to the Statistical Abstract of the United States, since these laws began taking effect the number of divorces in this country has increased 279 percent.

In essence, no‐fault divorce has nullified the sacredness of marriage in the eyes of the law, making it an unenforceable contract. A man and woman can abandon their family more easily than they can abrogate almost any other agreement that bears their signature. In terms of the law, it matters not that they’ve made a solemn promise before God, friends, relatives, a member of the clergy, or a licensed representative of the state.

However, no matter how easy the laws make it to get a divorce, it will always remain infinitely difficult to repair the damage.

Just between us…

  • What would you say to the couple who insist, “Our divorce is nobody’s fault. We just didn’t get along, so we’re going our separate ways”?
  • Do we know anyone who has sought a divorce, only to regret the move?
  • Are we committed to staying together, even through tough times?

Lord, the courts have made it so easy to tear apart that which You have bound

together. Forgive us, forgive our land, and bring us to repentance. Help us keep Your commands as the ultimate law of our marriage and family. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Taking the Plunge

 

“A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:10–11

Divorce often looks like a “quick fix” for an unpleasant situation, but it is usually far more painful than advertised. Contemplating those on the verge of taking this drastic step brings to mind a documentary film made during the early days of motion pictures. It shows a self‐styled inventor near the top of the Eiffel Tower with a pair of homemade wings strapped to his arms. He paces back and forth, trying to work up the courage to jump. If the wings work, he’ll be famous. If they fail, he’ll fall to his death. Finally the “flier” climbs on the rail, wobbles for a moment, then jumps—and drops like a rock.

Depressed and hurting spouses who choose divorce are like that hapless man on the Eiffel Tower. They feel that they can’t go back, and they’re enticed forward by the lure of freedom—of soaring away, leaving the pain and disappointment behind. So they jump… only to find themselves tumbling headlong into custody battles, loneliness, bitterness, and even poverty. In time, the long‐term cost of their decision becomes clear. Some again see their mate’s good qualities, but by then it’s too late. They’ve already taken the plunge.

Just between us…

  • When have you jumped into a situation that you later regretted?
  • Has Scripture ever helped you avoid such a mistake? When?
  • What is the attraction, and danger, of “quick fix” solutions in marriage?
  • Why do you think God commands us to avoid divorce?

Lord of married lovers, You have called us to commitment. When forsaking our covenant seems easier than staying, grant us courage. Help us to recognize the deceitfulness of the divorce “solution.” Protect our marriage from every harm, including our own short-sightedness. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples -Letting Go

 

Bring [your children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

I admit that it was difficult to watch my two children, Danae and Ryan, grow up. I knew they couldn’t remain children forever, and I certainly didn’t want to freeze their development. But I loved every minute of their childhood, and I cherish the memories we created.

I worked especially hard on “letting go” of Danae during her last three years at home. One of the most difficult times occurred when she was fifteen. She was having trouble getting ready for school on time, and I repeatedly rescued her by driving her there at the last minute. Finally, Jim and I agreed that it was time for Danae to accept full responsibility for beating the tardy bell.

One morning Danae missed her carpool ride, and she appeared at my door as I was preparing for an appointment. I ignored her hints about driving her, and we lived too far from school for her to walk. When she realized I wasn’t going to rescue her, she called Dial‐A‐Ride, our city‐sponsored cab company. She gathered her books and sat on the curb in front of our house with her head down, waiting for the cab.

I reluctantly faced one of my most difficult assignments ever. I backed my car out of the driveway and drove off, leaving my beloved teenage daughter dejected and alone. My mind flooded with all the horrible things that could happen to a young girl by herself. I asked God to protect Danae and help her learn from this experience.

The Lord heard my prayer. Danae came bounding into the house after school, threw her books on the table, and wailed, “Oh, Mother! How embarrassing! Do you know what kind of cab Dial‐A‐Ride has? It is a huge, old, beat‐up station wagon. The driver drove me right up in front of the school, and all my friends saw me. Oh, I will never do that again!” The next morning, Danae was up at the crack of dawn.

It’s extremely difficult for loving, caring parents to let their vulnerable children face embarrassment or failure. Our impulse is to bail them out or cover for their irresponsibility. But if we have faith in our objectives—and in our kids—we’ll stay the course and all do some growing up together.

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Stay the Course

 

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.” Mark 10:14

I f we believe that the eternal souls of our children hang in the balance, why would we take a casual approach to parenting? If our eyes are fully opened to this awesome assignment, why would we ignore and neglect so great an opportunity? The Good News provides the only satisfactory explanation for why we’re here and where we’re going. When we accept our spiritual responsibility as parents, our entire family is likely to follow our example into eternity: “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household” (Acts 16:31).

Are you the parents of young children or a houseful of teenagers? We understand how difficult it is for you to keep this eternal perspective in mind as you race through your days. We encourage you not to let yourselves become discouraged with the responsibility of parenting. Yes, it is incredibly difficult, and at times you’ll feel like throwing in the towel. But we beg you to stay the course! Get on your knees before the Lord and ask for His strength and wisdom. Finish the job to which He has called you!

There is no more important task in this life.

Just between us…

  • Can we be more intentional in introducing our children to Jesus Christ?
  • How can we keep eternal priorities foremost in our minds?
  • Is there a pressing need we can pray about together tonight?

Lord, nothing will count more in eternity than that we’ve been faithful parents who have helped usher our children into Your presence. Give us strength and wisdom for this task. By Your Spirit, draw our children to You. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – The Bottom Line

 

“Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” Proverbs 22:6

The contradictory advice given in popular culture about what children need is enough to drive a conscientious parent to distraction. In days past, moms and dads learned child‐rearing from their parents, who learned from theirs. Rightly or wrongly, they had a sense of confidence about what they were doing. That’s because the traditional approach to parenting boils down to some very basic ideas.

Here are just a few:

—When your children ask, “Who’s in charge?” tell them.

—When they mutter, “Who loves me?” take them in your arms and surround them with affection.

—When they defiantly challenge you, win decisively. Talk to them. Set up clear boundaries and then enforce the rules firmly and fairly.

—Expose your children to interesting things. Help them use their time wisely.

—Raise them in a stable family with two parents who love each other and enjoy a strong marriage.

—Teach them to love the Lord and understand His Word.

—Treat them with respect and dignity and expect the same in return.

—Set aside time to build friendship and love between generations. Then enjoy the sweet benefits of competent parenthood and a wonderful family!

Just between us…

  • How are we doing on this list of parenting basics?
  • Where do we see progress?
  • Which ones need special attention?

Father, thank You for the timeless wisdom that we can follow to help us raise our children right. May we parent wisely and lovingly, trusting in Your blessing. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – A Tale of Two Homes

 

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25

Suppose that you’re seven years old. You arrive home from school, and your mother welcomes you with a smile and a snack. Later your father comes home. Mom and Dad greet each other with a kiss and loving words. Dad gives you a warm hug. That night, after you finish your homework, the three of you enjoy a family game. Finally, you say your prayers and fall asleep.

Now put yourself in another seven‐year‐old’s place. You come home from school to a mother who, when she’s home at all, is on the phone or watching television. You eat a bag of candy by yourself. Later your father returns. Mom complains about the unfinished garage project. Dad replies angrily and walks past you to the kitchen. You watch television all evening, then crawl into bed and fall asleep listening to your parents argue.

One home is safe and nurturing; the other lonely and contentious. Too often, children grow up in homes like the latter—or worse. So ask yourself: Which scenario best describes your family? Further, how would you describe the mood of your household? Divided or united? Amiable or argumentative? Supportive or sarcastic? Every day, the story of your home is etching itself into the spirit and memory of your children.

Just between us…

  • How does the way we were brought up affect the mood in our household today?
  • How do you think our children would describe our home?
  • How can we make sure our home is a positive environment?

Loving Lord, we know that our relationship sets the tone for our children’s growing-up experience. Help us make our marriage the starting point of a good home and of a happy, Christ-honoring childhood for our kids. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples -Balloons and Children

 

“My time has not yet come.” John 2:4

I (jcd) once attended a wedding in a beautiful garden setting. After the minister told the groom to kiss the bride, about 150 colorful, helium‐filled balloons were released into the blue sky. Within a few seconds the balloons were scattered, some rising hundreds of feet overhead and others cruising toward the horizon. A few balloons struggled to clear the upper branches of the trees, while the showoffs became mere pinpoints of color in the sky.

Like balloons, some boys and girls are born with more helium than others. They soar effortlessly to the heights, while others wobble dangerously close to the trees. Their frantic folks run along underneath, huffing and puffing to keep them airborne.

Are you a parent of a low‐flying child? Over the years, I’ve worked with hundreds of families whose children were struggling in one way or another. Based on what I’ve seen, let me pass along a word of encouragement to worried parents: Sometimes the child who has the most trouble getting off the ground eventually reaches the greatest height!

Just between us…

  • What kinds of balloons do our kids most resemble?
  • Do we tend to panic when our low‐fliers drift in the wrong direction?
  • Do we love them any less than those who soar?
  • How can we avoid prematurely judging how a child will turn out?
  • How can we pump more “helium” into our relationship with our low‐flier?

Heavenly Father, tonight we ask for wisdom and patience as we raise our children. We let go of our own requirements and timelines for their lives. We trust Your providence and grace. Every day, help us obey You in this great calling of being a parent. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Just Waitin’ For You, Dad

 

In you our fathers put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. Psalm 22:4

A husband and wife on vacation at a lake didn’t notice their three‐year‐old son Billy wandering toward the dock to investigate a boat. He tried to stretch his short legs from the dock to the boat, but didn’t quite make it—and fell into six‐feet‐deep water. The splash brought Dad running. He dove into the murky water, groping with his arms and legs trying to find Billy. His lungs nearly bursting, he pushed toward the surface—and touched Billy, whose arms were locked around a piling four feet underwater. Dad pried him loose, and they hit the surface together, gasping for air. When they had recovered,

Dad asked little Billy what he was doing hanging onto that piling. Billy’s answer: “Just waitin’ for you, Dad.” When his life was on the line, Billy knew his dad would come through. It’s true that fathers bear heavy responsibility for the welfare and protection of their children. We parents have a tough assignment, but most of us wouldn’t have it any other way. The most difficult, important, and wonderful task of all is to teach our kids to trust their heavenly Father even more than they depend on Dad.

Just between us…

  • Did you as a child ever have a close call like Billy’s?
  • Was your father there for you?
  • Are we teaching our kids to depend on the Lord? How can we learn to trust God as much as Billy trusted his dad?

Father, we praise You that You are strong and trustworthy at all times. We say with the psalmist—“The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?” May our words, attitudes, and behavior model complete trust in You as a way of life in our home. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Looking Out For the Single Mom

 

“Look after orphans and widows in their distress.” James 1:27

Many years ago I was working around the house when a knock came at the door. When I opened it, there stood Sally, a young woman in her late teens. “I’m selling brushes,” she said, “and I wonder if you’d like to buy any.” I told her politely that I wasn’t interested in buying anything that day, and Sally said, “I know. No one else is, either.” With that, she began to cry. I invited Sally to come in for a cup of coffee and asked her to share her story. It turned out that she was an unmarried mother who was struggling mightily to support her two‐year‐old son.

That night, we went to her shabby little apartment above a garage to see how we could help her and her toddler. When we opened the cupboards, there was nothing there for them to eat—I mean nothing. That night they both dined on a can of Spaghetti‐Os. We took Sally to the market and did what we could to help her get on her feet. There are millions of single mothers out there who are desperately trying to survive in a hostile world.

All of them could use a little kindness—from babysitting to providing a meal to repairing the washing machine to just showing a little thoughtfulness. Have you opened your eyes to them lately?

Raising kids all alone is the toughest job in the universe. Look around your neighborhood through “God’s eyes.” Is a single mom going down for the third time? How about giving a helping hand? Not only will she be encouraged, but her children will bless you as well.

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – No Junk Allowed

 

“Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

Seven‐year‐old Chris Krebs was born with cerebral palsy and was profoundly retarded. One day he and his father, Greg, sat in a hospital lounge waiting for Mrs. Krebs, who worked at the hospital. Another man, shabbily dressed and emanating a peculiar aroma, was also waiting there. He looked like a bum or derelict. Greg went to the nurses’ station and asked how much longer his wife would be. When he returned, he saw Chris sitting by the man. The man was sobbing, and Greg wondered what Chris had done to disturb him.

“I’m sorry if my son offended you,” Greg said.

The man replied, “Offended me? Your son is the only person who has hugged me in the last twenty years!” Greg later said, “I realized at that moment Chris had a more Christ-like love for this man than I did.”

Although disrespect for the disabled or less fortunate is characteristic of our culture, we know there is no “junk” in God’s value system. He loves every one of us the same. He sees our potential, and He uses each person to accomplish some part of His purpose. As His children, we’re called to look at everyone through the lens of His perfect love.

When we show compassion and respect to the people who cross our paths from day to day, we are also likely to treat our spouse the same way. It all begins with a spirit of loving‐kindness.

Just between us…

  • Has anyone ever unexpectedly modeled Christ’s love to you?
  • How can we encourage each other to see value and potential in everyone we meet?

Father, may we always be sensitive to the needs and value of other people. Help us to share Your love to them, no matter who they are. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

Night Light for Couples – Wandering Sheep

 

“If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine… and go to look for the one that wandered off?” Matthew 18:12

I f you are parents of small children, you know exactly how the shepherds mentioned in the Bible felt as they watched over their flocks. Even for a mother with “eyes in the back of her head,” keeping one active child from wandering off can seem as big a challenge as corralling a hundred sheep!

Jesus is called a shepherd, too, but His flock is all of humanity and He watches over us day and night. That’s why He called Himself the Good Shepherd. He came to earth to die so that not one soul would have to be lost. During His earthly ministry, He was always on the lookout for lost souls. He stayed up late to talk to Nicodemus (John 3:2). He wouldn’t let Zacchaeus hide unnoticed in a tree (Luke 19:5). And when the Pharisees were about to stone a despised adulteress, Jesus intervened with a message of forgiveness and direction—“Go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).

Every day, we have divine appointments to lead others into God’s flock—not just our family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers, but also people we’ve never met before and may never see again. God’s wisdom and power are at our disposal. We just have to keep our eyes open.

Just between us…

  • Do you see Jesus as your Good Shepherd? Why or why not?
  • As a couple, are we watching for “lost sheep”?
  • How can we be more watchful for opportunities to reach unbelievers? Is there anyone “lost” with whom we can talk this week?

Lord Jesus, show us how to demonstrate Your great love and compassion to those around us. We, too, want to be shepherds of lost souls. Amen.

  • From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson