“An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Proverbs 12:25

Many years ago, at what was then Standard Oil Company, an executive’s mistake cost the firm more than two million dollars. On the day the news leaked, the firm’s employees feared the wrath of the powerful head of the company—John D. Rockefeller—and found various ways to avoid him. One partner, however, kept his previously scheduled appointment. When he walked into the president’s office, he saw Rockefeller writing on a pad of paper.

“Oh, it’s you, Bedford,” Rockefeller said calmly. “I suppose you’ve heard about our loss?” The partner said that he had. “I’ve been thinking it over,” Rockefeller said, “and before I ask the man to discuss the matter, I’ve been making some notes.” Across the top of the page was written, “Points in favor of Mr. ________.” There followed a long list of the man’s virtues, including a description of how the executive had helped the firm make the right decision on three separate occasions. Since the earnings from these decisions had added up to many times the cost of the recent error, Rockefeller told Bedford that he had decided to seize the opportunity to encourage the executive instead of censure him.

The next time your spouse fails you, you could cut him or her down in a torrent of angry words… or you could see a golden opportunity to encourage.

Just between us…

• When was I most encouraging to you during a crisis?
• Is there a particular Scripture verse you cling to during tough times?

Lord, we so often underestimate how much influence our words can have. We ask for wisdom to speak encouragement—especially when criticism might be expected. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“In all our distress and persecution we were encouraged…” 1 Thessalonians 3:7

When I (jcd) was thirteen, we adopted the most wonderful dog in the world. Penny, as we called him, was smart and obedient. He loved everybody, and everybody loved him. But when I went off to college and my parents moved, our family reluctantly decided to give Penny away to another family. After a while, Penny decided that my father wasn’t coming back. The dog began to grieve. In fact, he seemed to give up on life, and before long, arthritis and other problems left him paralyzed. When my father heard about

Penny’s sad state, he drove seven hundred miles to bring him home. He found our dog curled up in a little ball, unable to move. But Penny’s tiny stub of a tail thrashed wildly when he saw his master. Remarkably, with the love and attention my parents began to shower on him, Penny recovered. Within two weeks of returning home, he was running and jumping. He lived eleven more years without another sign of arthritis!

This story about our family dog reminds me that if even a mutt needs love and encouragement to stay alive, then so does every human being on the face of the earth. We are social beings, designed to depend on God and each other. Yet some of us are curled up in a pitiful little ball of discouragement. Every day we have the power to bring life by giving encouragement to others—or we can ignore their needs and think only of ourselves. The choice is ours.

Just between us…

• Has my encouragement ever made you feel transformed or “healed”?
• Who might be transformed by a little encouragement from us?

Lord, open our eyes to others’ need for attention, affection, and encouragement. May we never withhold what is our duty and privilege to give. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?” Luke 12:20

The utter folly of materialism hit home dramatically for me (jcd) during a trip to Britain years ago. As I toured the museums and historical buildings, I was struck by what I called “empty castles.” Standing there in the lonely fog were edifices constructed by proud men who thought they owned them. But where are those men today? All are gone; most are forgotten. The hollow castles they left behind stand as monuments to the vulnerability and impermanence of the men who built them.

I hope to leave more than empty castles behind when I die—something more meaningful than land, machines, stocks, or fame. I will consider my earthly existence to have been wasted unless my legacy is a loving family, a consistent investment in the lives of people, and an earnest attempt to have served the God who made me. Nothing else really matters.

Just between us…

• If we died tonight, would our obituaries describe empty pursuits or meaningful lives?
• How would the Lord judge our stewardship of money, time, and belongings?
• What has been our most foolish investment or expenditure in the past few years?
• Do we seek satisfaction in things or in the Lord? Is a change in order?
• How can we encourage each other to pursue what really matters?

Lord, we know that all that is of this earth will eventually turn to dust. How much we long to live like Your children every day—with eternity’s values always in mind. Grant us Your grace and wisdom as we seek to make changes that will glorify You. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“See if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it.” Malachi 3:10

My (jcd’s) dad, an evangelist, was the original soft touch. I remember him once going off to speak in a tiny church and coming home ten days later. Eventually my mother asked about the offering. I can still see my father’s face as he smiled and looked at the floor. “You gave the money away again, didn’t you?” she asked. “Myrt,” he said, “the pastor there is going through a hard time. His kids are so needy. I felt I should give the entire fifty dollars to them.” My good mother looked at my father for a few moments and then smiled. “You know, if God told you to do it, it’s okay with me.” A few days later, we ran completely out of money, so my father gathered us for a time of prayer. He said, “Lord, you told us that if we would honor you in our good times, that you would take care of us when things are difficult. We need a little help at this time.” The next day we received an unexpected check for $1,200. That’s the way it happened— not once, but many times. No matter what you give, you’ll find you can never outgive God.

Just between us…

Are we trusting God with our giving? What blessings, material and nonmaterial, have we seen from our gifts? Do we know someone now who needs a helping hand? Should we share what we have with them? Do we really believe “God owns it all”?

Heavenly Father, You promised to pour out blessings on those who tithe in Your name. Help us to take You at Your word and to trust in Your provision as we give back to You and share our abundance with others. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

At least my intentions were good. I (jcd) once ordered a swing set for my children identical to a shiny display model I’d seen at the store. What arrived, however, was a long box containing roughly 6,324 pipes, 28,487,651 bolts, 28,487,650 screws, and a set of instructions that would have befuddled Albert Einstein. For the next two days, I sweated to assemble bent parts, missing parts, and parts from a 1948 Ford thrown in just to confuse me.

Finally, the wobbly construction stood upright. I got another shock when I read the final line printed on the back of the instructions: “Please retighten all the bolts on this apparatus every two weeks to ensure safety and durability.” I now had to devote every other Saturday to this tin monster or it would gobble up my children!

Everything you own will eventually own you! Unchecked materialism becomes your master, both when you make the purchase and when you must sweat to maintain it. That’s why I heartily encourage you to decide together to own less… and enjoy life more.

Just between us…

• Do we have a “tin monster”—something new and supposedly valuable that’s more trouble than it’s worth—in our lives?
• What do we have that we don’t need and could simply give or throw away?
• What guidelines could we agree on to avoid the trap of materialism?
• How can fewer possessions bring us closer to God?

Dear Lord, we are so easily driven by the desire to own more things. We want to live with less. Change us with Your truth about lasting value. We want to hold all our income and possessions in trust for You, the real owner. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” 1 Timothy 6:10

Money. Men and women have lusted for it, killed for it, died for it, and gone to hell for it. Money has come between the best of friends, fractured families, and brought down the proud and mighty. And it has torn millions of marriages limb from limb! According to Larry Burkett, founder and CEO of Christian Financial Concepts, 80 percent of couples seeking divorce say the focus of their disagreements is money. During Jesus’ time on earth, He spoke more about money than any other subject. Most of His pronouncements came in the form of warnings: “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21); “What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?” (Matthew 16:26); “You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matthew 6:24).

If we want to love and serve God—and keep our marriages intact— we need to regularly examine our relationship with money, then ask: “Whom do we serve?”

Just between us…

• Have you ever had a hurtful disagreement with family or friends over money?
• How do you feel about the way we handle our finances?
• Are there ways in which we push God aside to “serve” money?
• What could we do to make sure our financial decisions are in line with Jesus’ teachings?

Dear God, we confess that we’re so often beguiled by the allure of money and possessions. But we want You to be Lord of our money and all our belongings. Lead us into an enduring obedience to You in this area, we pray. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” Philippians 4:4

The late entertainer Joe E. Brown once said, “I have no understanding of the long‐faced Christian. If God is anything, He must be joy.” How true! We have a God who loves us more than we love our children or even ourselves—a God who sent His Son to die for us and who has prepared a place in eternity just for us. He is indeed a God of joy—and we have much to be joyful about!

This is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. When we were first married, Jim and I taught school, served in the church, and carried many responsibilities. Jim was working on his master’s degree at the time, so he wasn’t able to help me carry my load. I looked forward every week to Saturday, when I could rest and recuperate. Gradually, I fell into the trap of being truly happy only one day a week. And if anything took that day away from me, I was very frustrated. Slowly, I learned to enjoy every day of the week, even though I was busy. It was a simple change in attitude that brightened my life. Someone once said, “If you have to cross the street to be happy, you’re not seeing things properly.” I agree.

There are many “long‐faced” Christians who are caught up in the trials of this world. It’s not always easy to remember that we can experience joy even in the midst of struggles. We forget that Jesus told us that our worldly grief would be like a mother giving birth: She experiences pain during labor, but then forgets her anguish because of her joy over the birth of her child (John 16:21). We forget that the apostles, after being flogged on orders of the Sanhedrin, left there “rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name” (Acts 5:41).

Joy is something we experience when we begin to understand the magnitude of God and the love He freely gives us. It’s not something to be grasped, but shared. It’s not something to be contained, but made available to all. Joy is a selfless, abundant quality modeled by our Lord Jesus. He is the one who has called us to “rejoice” and “leap for joy” when we are poor, hungry, weeping, hated, and rejected, because “great is your reward in heaven” (Luke 6:23).

Joy can begin right now—if we choose! “Rejoice in the Lord always…!”

– Shirley M Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example.” 1 Peter 2:21

Politically correct notions in the culture today would lead us to believe that we all have reasons to be angry about the biases arrayed against us. The supposed discrimination extends to girls, boys, the elderly, homosexuals, drug addicts, alcoholics, atheists, those who are overweight, balding, short, undereducated, women (representing 51.2 percent of the population), and now, white men. There’s hardly a person alive who doesn’t have a claim against an oppressor in one context or another. I (jcd) call it “the victimization of everyone.”

Unquestionably, there are disadvantaged people among us who need legal protection and special consideration, including some racial minorities. But the idea that the majority is exploited and disrespected is terribly destructive—first, because the belief that “they’re out to get me” paralyzes us and leads to hopelessness and despair; second, because it divides people into separate and competing self‐interest groups and pits them against each other.

The Scripture gives us a better way. It tells us to thank God every day for His blessings and to focus our attention not on ourselves, but on those who are less fortunate. Not once does it support or sanction the curse of victimization. Do not yield to it.

Just between us…

• Do we usually blame someone or something for our circumstances?
• How does playing the role of a victim make us tend to give up?
• What does God promise us for our earthly struggles?

Lord, forgive us for our quickness to shift into “victim thinking.” Show us which hard things we can change and which we should accept as Your loving best for us. And grant us Your grace and joy in both circumstances. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2

When troubles line up in what seems like an endless parade, feelings of despair or helplessness can be overwhelming. One way out of this downward spiral toward depression is to reach out to someone else. Our own difficulties seem less threatening and all‐consuming when we are busy helping someone else handle theirs. The possibilities for helping others are limitless. Visit the sick. Bake something for your neighbors. Do household chores for an elderly shut‐in. Use your car for those without transportation. And, perhaps most important, be a good listener. Sometimes what a person needs most of all is simply a friend who will share his or her life for a few moments.

This is one of the powerful paradoxes of the Christian life: When we share someone else’s pain, we often shed some of our own. When we help others, we end up helping ourselves. When we lift another’s burdens, ours lighten.

Just between us…

• What do you do when you’re discouraged or depressed?
• Am I helpful to you when you’re feeling down?
• In what ways did Jesus minister to the downhearted? Is there someone in a difficult situation who could use our help?

Dear God, thank You for Your goodness during trouble. Increasingly, make us Your instruments to help others in need. Help us to share Your comfort and testify to Your great faithfulness. Thank You that we’ll be blessed in doing so. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson