Have you thought about what you will leave behind when you die? Most people think of possessions—family heirlooms, investments, and other property. But what kind of spiritual heritage will you leave for your children? Will they walk in the Lord’s ways as a result of your influence?

Leading a godly life doesn’t always mean that your children will follow the Lord, and forcing your beliefs on them usually backfires. What are some effective approaches to handing down your faith?

Godly parenting takes . . .

1) Principle: We must instruct our children in the ways of God.

• Read Deuteronomy 6:4-7. How often were the people of Israel supposed to talk about their faith?

 

Notice they were told to teach their children “diligently” (Deut. 6:7). You may want to have a formal Bible study with your kids on a regular basis, but that isn’t always necessary. It can be more effective to connect daily events to principles in the Word of God during supper, for instance. At bedtime, read and discuss Bible stories with your children. When appropriate, tell them about your failures and the spiritual lessons you learned as a result.

• Write out the spiritual truths—biblical principles or life lessons—that you would like to pass on to your children.

 

• What can you do differently to instruct them more effectively in spiritual matters?

 

2) Pattern: Children learn more by watching us than by listening to what we say.

Your example is a key ingredient to passing down your faith. For example, if you blame others when things go wrong, children may learn to avoid taking responsibility. If you pray as a family when life is difficult, children learn they can go to God with their worries.

• Jesus spoke about dealing with our own sins before trying to correct others (Luke 6:41-42). In what areas do you fail to make godly choices, especially around your kids?

 

• Write down one way you could be a better example to your children.

 

3) Persistence: We pass on faith by doing the right thing consistently.

No parent is perfect. But those who do the right thing day by day—not just when it is convenient—make a powerful impression on their children.

Galatians 6:9 says, “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

• What areas of parenting or living righteously have the potential to wear you out?

 

• What motivates you to persevere in doing the right thing?

 

4) Participation: When we get involved in the lives of our children, we establish a caring relationship that makes it easier to communicate with them about our faith.

Without taking on their responsibilities, do your best to help your children with their problems. For younger kids, this may mean giving advice outright or helping them find the answer in God’s Word. Older children may prefer to talk through their ideas with you to reach a solution. If they say something with which you strongly disagree, try not to overreact. Instead, ask how they came to that conclusion. Keep the lines of communication open so you can guide them toward a biblical perspective.

• Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” How does this verse encourage you in your parenting struggles?

 

• Name a specific way you could show more interest in the concerns or pastimes of your children.

 

5) Praise: The greatest motivation for learning is praise.

As a motivator, encouragement is more effective than constant correction. Spend more time praising your child for what he does right than you do critiquing his mistakes. Offer help if it’s needed, but don’t be overly demanding (Col. 3:21).

• Proverbs 12:25 says, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up” (NIV). How does encouragement affect your children?

 

• How could you apply 1 Thessalonians 5:14 to parenting?

 

6) Prayer: If you consistently pray with and for your children, you will demonstrate the importance of prayer.

Jesus set an example for us by praying in all types of situations. He prayed for the sick, for calm weather, and for miraculous provision. He prayed at the height of His popularity and when He anticipated persecution and suffering.

• How should we pray, according to 1 Thessalonians 5:17? What do you think that means?

 

• What are some situations in which you could pray with or for your children to make prayer a greater part of your relationship?

 

Prayer: Father, parenting is tough—I can’t do it without You. Grant me wisdom to respond appropriately in every situation. Draw each of my children closer to You, that they may honor You with their lives. Amen.

Adapted from “How to Keep Your Kids on Your Team” by Charles F. Stanley (1986).

 

Related Resources

• Am I communicating to my children in a way that is helpful?
• How do you discipline a strong-willed child without breaking their spirit?
• How can I effectively share my faith with family and friends?
• How can I be sure to leave a lasting impact on the world?

 

Related Video

The Impact of a Godly Parent

Mothers and fathers have a tremendous influence on the success and happiness of their children later in life. That’s why it’s so important for parents to model the Christian life and purposefully instruct their sons and daughters in the ways of God. (Watch The Impact of a Godly Parent.)