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“This is what real love is: it is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us. He sent his Son to die in our place to take away our sins” (1 John 4:10).

When it comes to love, be careful. Take a good look around. Don’t force what is wrong to be right. Be prayerful. Love is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask God to help you love as he loves. “God has given us the Holy Spirit, who fill our hearts with his love” (Romans 5:5).

Be grateful for those who’ve encouraged you to do what is right and applauded when you did. And isn’t it good to know that even when we don’t love with a perfect love, he does? God always nourishes what is right. He has never done wrong, led one person to do wrong, or rejoiced when anyone did wrong. For he IS love!

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Have you ever made decisions about your relationships based on your feelings instead of the facts? When it comes to love, feelings rule the day. Emotions guide the ship.

Ever wish you had a DNA test for love?  Paul offers us one, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6). In this verse lies a test for love.  Love doesn’t ask someone to do what is wrong. If you find yourself prompting evil in others, heed the alarm.  And if others prompt evil in you, be alert. That siren you hear?  It’s the phony-love detector.

Love doesn’t tear down the convictions of others. Quite the contrary. “Love builds up!” (1 Corinthians 8:1). Ask yourself this: Do I encourage this person to do what is right?  For true love “takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth.”

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What happens when we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s love? Will standing beneath the downpour of his grace change the way we feel about others?

It’s not enough to keep the bad stuff out. We’ve got to let the good stuff in. It’s not enough to keep no list of wrongs. We need to cultivate a list of blessings. Paul says in Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Thinking conveys the idea of pondering, studying, and focusing…allowing what is viewed to have an impact on us. You want to make a list? Then list his mercies. List the times God has forgiven you. Rather than store up the sour, store up the sweet!

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Life has a way of unloading her rubbish on our doorstep! Your husband works too much. Your wife gripes too much. Your boss expects too much. Your kids whine too much. The result? Trash. Loads of pessimism, guilt, anxiety—it all piles up. And what about the Pharisees? They killed Christ in their hearts before they killed him on the cross.

Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions. Could that be why Paul writes, “Love…keeps no record of wrongs?” (1 Corinthians 13:5). We do have a choice. Paul says we do when he writes, “We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).  Selfishness, step back!  Envy…get lost! You are not a victim of your thoughts. If today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions, what happens when we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s love? Will standing beneath the downpour of his grace change the way we feel about others? Absolutely!

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Do you think God could heal your angry heart? He asks the same question of you that he asked of the invalid in John 5:6,  “Do you want to be healed?” Not everyone does. Anger may be part of your identity.

T.D. Terry’s stressful job stirred in him daily bouts of anger. A tree near his driveway had been tall. Then lost a few limbs. After some time it was nothing more than a stump. T.D. explained, “I took my anger out on the tree. I took an ax to it. I tore the limbs. I didn’t want to come home mad, so I left my anger at the tree.”

Let’s do the same. In fact, let’s take our anger to the tree on the hill. Leave it at the tree of Calvary. Let God accept you. Take a long drink from his limitless love, and cool down!

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The self-centered see everything through self. Their motto?  “It’s all about me!” To the self-centered– the flight schedule, the traffic, the worship styles—everything is filtered through the mini-me in the eye.

Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.”  Looking after your personal interests is proper life management. Doing so to the exclusion of the rest of the world is selfishness. Desire success? Fine. Just don’t hurt others in achieving it. Love isn’t selfish! Love builds up relationships but selfishness corrodes relationships.

What’s the cure for selfishness? A smaller “I” and a greater Christ! Don’t focus on yourself; focus on all that you have in Christ—the encouragement in Christ, the fellowship of the Spirit, the affection and compassion of heaven!

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Paul says in Colossians 4:5-6, “Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should.” Courteous conduct honors Christ. Those who don’t believe in Jesus note what we do. They make decisions about Christ by watching us. When we are kind, they assume Christ is kind.

Courteous conduct also honors God’s child. When you surrender a parking place to someone, you honor them. When you make an effort to greet everyone in the room, especially the ones others may have overlooked, you honor God’s children. Romans 12:18 says, “Do your best to live in peace with everyone!” You can’t control their attitude, but you can manage yours!

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When Paul defined what love is not, he put rudeness on the list. Love is “not rude” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Some years ago an example of rudeness was taken before the courts in Minnesota. A man fell out of his canoe and lost his temper. Though the river was lined with vacationing families, he polluted the air with obscenities. Some of those families sued him. He said, “I have my rights!”

God calls us to a higher, more noble concern. Not, “What are my rights?” but “What is loving?” Do you have the right to pretend you don’t hear your wife speaking? Perhaps so, but is it loving?

Jesus always knocks before entering. He doesn’t have to. If anyone has the right to barge in, Christ does. But he doesn’t. That gentle tap you hear? It’s Christ…“Behold, I stand at the door and knock” (Revelation 3:20). And when you answer, he awaits your invitation to cross the threshold!

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The humble heart honors others! Jesus is our example. Content to be known as a carpenter and happy to be mistaken for the gardener. He served his followers by washing their feet.

He serves us by doing the same. Each morning he gifts us with beauty. Each moment he dwells in our hearts. And does he not speak of the day when, according to Luke 12:37, “the master will dress himself to serve and tell the servants to sit at the table, and he will serve them?”

If Jesus is so willing to honor us, can we not do the same for others? Make people a priority. Accept your part in his plan. Be quick to share the applause. And, most of all, regard others as more important than yourself. Love does! For love “does not boast; it is not proud” (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV).

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True humility is not thinking lowly of yourself but thinking accurately of yourself! When Paul writes “consider others better than yourselves” he uses a verb that means to calculate or to reckon (Philippians 2:3 NIV). It implies a conscious judgment resting on carefully weighed facts. To consider others better than yourself then is, not to say you have no place, but it is to say that you know your place. Scripture says, “Don’t cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your importance, but try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities by the light of the faith that God has given to you” (Romans 12:3 Phillips).

And be quick to applaud the success of others. Give each other more honor that you want for yourselves. The humble person does not say, “I can’t do anything.” But rather, “I can’t do everything; but I know my part and am happy to do it!”

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Love does not boast, it is not proud (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV). Jesus has no room for pecking orders. His solution to man-made caste systems? A change of direction. In a world of upward mobility, choose downward servility. “Regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 NASB). Jesus flip-flopped the pecking order.

Would you do what Jesus did? He swapped a spotless castle for a grimy stable. He exchanged the worship of angels for the company of killers. If you knew that only a few could care that you came, would you still come? If you knew that those you loved would laugh in your face, would you still care? The palm that held the universe took the nail of a soldier. Why? Because that’s what love does! He loves you that much! Drink deeply of God’s love for you—and ask him to fill your heart with a love worth giving!

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What are the consequences of envy? Loneliness tops the list. Solomon says, “Anger is cruel and destroys like a flood, but no one can put up with jealousy!” (Proverbs 27:4) Who wants to hang out with a jealous fool?  In a cemetery in England stands a grave marker with the inscription, “She died for want of things.” Alongside that one is another, “He died trying to give them to her!”

Jews used one word for jealousy, qua-nah. It meant “to be intensely red.” Have you seen red-faced jealousy? God withholds what we desire in order to give us what we need. Would you exchange the lesser gifts for the higher gift of knowing God? If you would, then your envy will pass. Jealousy has no fire when true love is received!

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Kindness at home. Kindness in public. Kindness in church and kindness with our enemies. Pretty well covers the gamut, don’t you think? Almost. Someone else needs your kindness. Who could that be? Well, it’s YOU! Since God is so kind to us, can’t we be a little kinder to ourselves?

Oh, but you don’t know me, Max. You don’t know my faults and my thoughts. You don’t know the gripes I grumble and the complaints I mumble. No, I don’t, but he does. He knows everything about you, yet he doesn’t hold back his kindness toward you. Has he, knowing all your secrets, retracted one promise or reclaimed one gift? He forgives your faults, calls you his ambassador, his follower, even his child. In God’s book you are a good thing. Be kind to yourself. God thinks you’re worth his kindness. And he’s a good judge of character.

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I’ve attended my share of seminars on strategizing and team building. But I can’t say I’ve ever attended or even heard of one lecture on kindness. Jesus, however, would take issue with our priorities. “Go and learn what this means,” he commands. “I want kindness more than I want animal sacrifices” (Matthew 9:13).

How kind are you? Which person is the most overlooked or avoided? A shy student? A grumpy employee? And here’s a challenge—what about your enemies? How kind are you to those who want what you want or take what you have? How about the boss who fired you or the wife who left you. Mercy is the deepest gesture of kindness. The Apostle Paul said, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you!” (Ephesians 4:32).

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We are quick to think of Jesus’ power, his passion, and his devotion. But those near him knew and know God comes cloaked in kindness. “Love is kind” writes Paul. David agrees, “Your lovingkindness is better than life” (Psalm 63:3). But Jesus’ invitation offers the sweetest proof of the kindness of heaven: “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28).

I wonder, how many burdens is Jesus carrying for us that we know nothing about? He carries our sin. He carries our shame. But how often do we thank him for his kindness? Hasn’t he helped you out of a few jams? And has there ever been a time when he was too busy to listen to your story? And since God has been so kind to you, can’t you be kind to others?

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Has anyone told you about God’s patience? His patience and willingness to put up with you! “The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8).

Paul presents patience as the premiere expression of love. Positioned at the head of the apostle’s Love Armada—a boat-length or two in front of kindness, courtesy, and forgiveness—is the flagship known as patience.  1 Corinthians 13:4 states,  “Love is patient!” Patience waits. It listens. It’s slow to boil. This is how God treats us. And according to Jesus, this is how we should treat others. How infiltrated are you with God’s patience? You’ve heard about it. Read about it. But have you received it? The proof is in your patience. Patience deeply received results in patience freely offered!

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On this National Day of Prayer let me ask the obvious. If Jesus, the Son of God, the sinless savior of humankind, thought it worthwhile to clear his calendar to pray, wouldn’t we be wise to do the same? You may not understand the mystery of prayer. You don’t need to. But this much is certain. Actions in heaven begin when someone prays on earth. What an amazing thought! When you speak, Jesus hears. And when Jesus hears, thunder falls. And when thunder falls, the world is changed. All because someone prayed.

Prayer does not change God’s nature; who he is will never be altered. Prayer does, however, impact the flow of history. God has wired his world for power, but he calls on us to flip the switch.

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The secret to loving is living loved. It’s the forgotten first step in relationships. Remember Paul’s prayer? “May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love” (Ephesians 3:17 NLT).

Many people tell us to love. Only God gives us the power to do so. We know what God wants us to do. “This is what God commands. . .that we love each other.”  (1 John 3:23). But how can we? How can we be kind to those who are unkind to us? How can we love as God loves? By being loved. By following the principle: receive first and love second. God loves you personally…powerfully…passionately! He loves you with an unfailing love. Others have promised and failed. But God has promised and succeeded!

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God loves you. Personally. Powerfully. Passionately! God loves you with an unfailing love. And his love—if you let it—can fill you and leave you with a love worth giving!

Could it be that the first step of love is not toward them but toward him? Could it be that the secret to loving is receiving? You give love by first receiving it. “We love, because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19 NASB). Long to be more loving? Begin by accepting your place as a dearly loved child. “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us” (Ephesians 5:1-2 NIV).

We need help from an outside source. A transfusion. Would we love as God loves? Then we start by receiving God’s love.

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Are you on the eve of change? A new chapter? A new season? Heaven’s message for you is clear: when everything else changes, God’s presence never does. You journey in the company of the Holy Spirit, who “will teach you everything and will remind you of everything” he has told you (John 14:26 NLT). So, make friends with whatever’s next.

Change is a part of life, and a necessary part of God’s strategy. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments. But, someone might ask, what about the tragic changes God permits? Some seasons make no sense. They do, however, if we see them from an eternal perspective. What makes no sense in this life will make perfect sense in the next. As Paul wrote, “These troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing”  (2 Corinthians 4:17 CEV).

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