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Short memories harden the heart so make careful note of God’s blessings! Declare with David, “I will daily add praise to praise. I’ll write the book on your righteousness, talk up your salvation the lifelong day, and never run out of good things to write or say” (Psalm 71:14-15 MSG).

Catalog God’s goodnesses. Meditate on them. He has led you and earned your trust. Remember what he’s done for you. And acknowledge what you have done against God. The scripture says, “If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts” (1 John 1:10).  Sin-hoarding stiffens us. Confession softens us. Is your heart hard? Take it to the Father. You’re only a prayer away from tenderness. You live in a hard world but you don’t have to live with a hard heart!

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Life at times appears to fall to pieces. It seems irreparable. But it’s going to be okay! How can you know? Because as John 3:16 says, “God so loved the world!” Those are God’s arms you feel. Trust him. Believe him. Allow the only decision maker in the universe to comfort you. Since he has no needs, you cannot tire him. Since he is without age, you cannot lose him. Since he has no sin, you cannot corrupt him.

Paul said in Romans 8:31, “If God is for us, who can be against us.” If God can make a billion galaxies, can’t he make good out of our bad and sense out of our faltering lives? Of course he can. He is not just alive, but He is life himself. John 5:26 confirms for us,  “The Father has life in himself.” He is God! And God loves you.

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The Bible says,  “The heavens declare the glory of God!”  Our universe is God’s preeminent missionary.  Doesn’t a painting suggest a painter?  Don’t stars suggest a star maker?   Doesn’t creation imply a creator?

Now look within you.  Look at your sense of right and wrong.  Who told you a moral compass exists?  What is this magnetic pole that pulls the needles on the compass of your conscience if not God?  God did this!  The wonders above and within you testify to his existence.  But God not only made the world, He loves the world.  John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world!”  Try that on for size!  The one who formed you pulls for you.  Untrumpable power stoked by unstoppable love!

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This is John 3:16:  “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life!”  I read these words and realize they are to Scripture what the Mississippi River is to America— an entryway into the heartland.  Any serious consideration of Christ must include them!

God so loved the world.  We’d expect an anger-fueled God.  One who punishes the world, forsakes the world, but loves the world?  This world?  And He loves so much he gave his…declarations?  Rules?  Dicta?  Edicts?  No, the mind-bending claim of John 3:16 is this:  God gave his Son…his only Son!  Scripture equates Jesus with God.  God then, gave himself so that whoever believes in him shall not perish!

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Jesus said,  “Unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”  Born again?  You must be kidding.  Put life in reverse?  We can’t be born again!  Oh but wouldn’t we like to?  A try-again.  A reload.  How can this be?

Jesus answers in John 3:16, the hope diamond of the Bible. “For God so loved the word that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”  A twenty-six word parade of hope!  If you know nothing in the Bible—start here.  If you know everything about the Bible—return here!  He loves.  He gave.  We believe.  We live!

For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son… John 3:16.

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Hurting people hang with hurting people.  We love those who commiserate and avoid those who correct us.  Yet correction and direction are what we need.

I discovered the importance of healthy counsel in a half-Ironman triathlon.  After the 1.2–mile swim and the 56–mile bike ride, I didn’t have much energy left for the 13.1–mile run.  Neither did the fellow jogging next to me.  I asked him how he was doing and soon regretted it.   He said, “This stinks. It’s the dumbest decision I’ve ever made.”  He had more complaints than a taxpayer at the IRS.

My response to him?  “Goodbye.”  I knew if I listened too long, I’d start agreeing with him. Proverbs reminds us to “take good counsel and watch your plans succeed.”  So be quick to pray, seek healthy counsel, and don’t give up.

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How do you handle your tough times?  When you’re tired of trying, tired of forgiving, tired of hard weeks or hard-headed people how do you manage your dark days?  With a bottle of pills?  Alcohol?  A day at the spa?  Many opt for such treatments.  So many, in fact, we assume they reenergize the sad life.  But do they?  They numb the pain, but do they remove it?

We, like sheep, follow each other off the ledge, falling headlong into bars and binges and beds. Is there a better solution?  Indeed there is.  Be quick to pray.  Talk to Christ who invites, “Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out?  Come to Me.  Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life.”  Jesus says, “I will show you how to take a real rest” (Matthew 11:28-20 The Message).  You see God who is never downcast, never tires of your down days, just go to Him.

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It’s one thing to give grace to friends, but to give grace to those who give us grief?  Most of us find it hard to forgive.  Leave your enemies in God’s hands.  You’re not endorsing their misbehavior when you do.  You can hate what someone did without letting hatred consume you.  Forgiveness is not excusing — give grace, but if need be, keep your distance.  You can forgive the abusive husband without living with him.  Be quick to give mercy to the immoral pastor, but be slow to give him a pulpit.  Society can dispense grace and prison terms at the same time.

To forgive is to move on, not to think about the offense anymore.  You don’t excuse him, endorse her, or embrace them.  You just route thoughts about them through heaven.  In Romans 12:19 God says, “I will take care of it!”  Let Him!

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Forgiveness is not foolishness.  Forgiveness, at its core, is choosing to see your offender with different eyes.  By the way, how can we grace-recipients do anything less?  Dare we ask God for grace when we refuse to give it?  This is a huge issue in Scripture.  Jesus was tough on sinners who refused to forgive other sinners.

Remember his story in Matthew 18 about the servant freshly forgiven a debt of millions who refused to forgive a debt equal to a few dollars?  He stirred the wrath of God: “You evil servant!  I forgave you that tremendous debt.  Shouldn’t you have mercy just as I had mercy on you?”  In the final sum, we give grace because we’ve been given grace.  And we’ve been given grace so we can freely give it.  See your enemies as God’s child and revenge as God’s job.

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1 Samuel 16:7 says, “. . .man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” Those words were written for misfits and outcasts.  God uses them all.  Moses ran from justice, but God used him.  Jonah ran from God, but God used him.  Rahab ran a brothel, Sarah ran out of hope, Lot ran with the wrong crowd, but God used them all.

And David?  Human eyes saw a gangly teenager, smelling like sheep.  Yet the Lord said, “Arise, anoint him, for this is the one” (1 Samuel 16:12).  God saw what no one else saw: a God-seeking heart.  David took after God’s heart because he stayed after God’s heart.  And in the end that’s all God wants or needs.  Others measure your waist size or wallet.  Not God.  He examines hearts. And when he finds one set on Him, He calls it and claims it.

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You can’t control the weather, you aren’t in charge of the economy, you can’t un-wreck the car. But you can map out a strategy.  Remember, God is in this crisis.  Ask God to give you two or three steps you can take today.  Seek counsel from someone who’s faced a similar challenge.  Ask friends to pray.  Reach out to a support group.  Most importantly, make a plan.

You’d prefer a miracle for your crisis?  You’d rather see the bread multiplied or the stormy sea turned glassy calm in a finger snap?  God may do this.  Then again, He may say, “I’m with you.  I can use this for good.  Now let’s make a plan.”  God’s sovereignty doesn’t negate our responsibility, it just empowers it.  So don’t let the crisis paralyze you.  Trust God to do what you can’t.  Obey God, and do what you can.

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God’s purpose from all eternity is to prepare a family to indwell the kingdom of God.  “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11). God is plotting for our good. In all the setbacks, He’s ordaining the best for our future. Every event of our day is designed to draw us toward our God and our destiny.

When people junk you in the pit, God can use it for good. When family members sell you out, God will recycle the pain. Falsely accused?  Utterly abandoned?  You may stumble but you will not fall. You will get through this! Not because you are strong, but because God is. Not because you are big, but because God is. Not because you are good, but because God is. He has a place prepared for you!

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Seems too easy.  Doesn’t mom need to experience what she gave?  A few years wondering if she’ll see her daughter again, some pain-filled nights, a bit of justice.  Isn’t some vengeance in order?  Of course it is.  God cares about justice more than we do.  In Romans 12, Paul says, “Never pay back evil for evil.  Leave that to God, for He has said that he will repay those who deserve it.”

We fear the evildoer will slip into the night, unknown and unpunished.  Not to worry.  God will repay—not He might repay.  God will execute justice on behalf of truth and fairness.  Fix your enemies?  That’s God’s job.  Forgive your enemies?  Ahh, now that’s where you and I come in: we forgive.  You’ll get through this.

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Your family history doesn’t have to be your future. The generational garbage can stop here and now. Don’t give your kids what your ancestors gave to you. Talk to God about it, in detail. God, everyday I came home from school to find mom drunk, lying on the couch.  I had to take care of baby brother, do homework on my own.  It’s not right, God. Difficult, for certain.  But let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Let Him replace “childish thinking” with mature truth.

A dear friend of mine was called to identify the body of his father who’d been shot by his ex-wife. The blast was just another in a long line of angry, violent family moments. He made this resolution:  “It stops with me.”  And it has! God wants to help you—for your sake!  Trust Him—you’ll get through this.

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Revenge builds a lonely house. Space enough for one person. The lives of its tenants are reduced to one goal: make someone miserable. They do—themselves! Keep a sharp eye out for the weeds of bitter discontent. God’s healing includes a move out of the house of spite, toward the spacious ways of grace, away from hardness toward forgiveness.  Can He really?  you wonder. Can He clean up this mess?  This history of sexual abuse?  This raw anger at the father who left my mother?  Can God heal this ancient hurt in my heart?

Begin the process of forgiveness. Turn your attention away from what they did to you to what Jesus did for you, and stay the course. You’ll spend less time in the spite house and more in the grace house. You’re going to love the space of grace. You’ll get through this.

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My friend Rob cried freely telling his story about his young son’s challenging life.  Daniel was born with a double cleft palate, dramatically disfiguring his face.  He had surgery, but the evidence remains, so people constantly notice and occasionally make remarks.  Daniel, however, is unfazed.  He just tells people God made him this way so what’s the big deal?

He was named student of the week, and so was asked to bring something to show his classmates for show and tell.  Daniel told his mom he wanted to take the pictures that showed his face prior to the surgery.  His mom was concerned.  “Won’t that make you feel a bit funny?” she asked.  But Daniel insisted, “Oh, no, I want everyone to see what God did for me!”  Try Daniel’s defiant joy and see what happens.  God has handed you a cup of blessings.  Sweeten it with a heaping spoonful of gratitude!

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God notices the grateful heart.  He took a praise-singing shepherd boy and made him a king. There’s no hint of God getting out of sorts if we aren’t thankful, but there is evidence that we’re affected by our own ingratitude.  What of the disastrous days?  The nights I can’t sleep and the hours I can’t rest?  Are we still grateful then?  Jesus was.

The Bible records, “On the night he was betrayed, the Lord Jesus took some bread and gave thanks to God for it” (1 Corinthians 11:23-24).  It’s not often you see the words betrayed and thanks in the same sentence, much less in the same heart.  In the midst of the darkest night of the human soul, Jesus found a way to give thanks.  Anyone can thank God for the light.  Jesus teaches us to thank God for the night.  And He says to us, “you’ll get through this,” and we will.

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If you feel the world owes you something, brace yourself — you’ll never get reimbursed.  Henry Ward Beecher said, “A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves.”  The sky’s never blue enough, the steak isn’t cooked enough, the universe isn’t good enough to deserve a human being like you.

Pursue gratitude.  The grateful heart is like a magnet, sweeping over the day, collecting reasons for gratitude.  Thank you, God.  Your lungs inhale and exhale 11,000 liters of air every day. Thank you, God.  For the jam on the toast and the milk on the cereal and the blanket that calms us and the joke that softens us and the warm sun that reminds us of God’s love. Gratitude leaves us looking at God and away from dread.  It does to anxiety what morning sun does to valley mist: it burns it up.  Thank you, God.

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Some things were not made to co-exist. Long-tailed cats and rocking chairs? Bad combination. Bulls in a china closet?  Not a good idea. Blessings and bitterness? That’s the mixture that doesn’t go over well with God. Perhaps you’ve sampled it?

Gratitude doesn’t come naturally. Self-pity does. Belly aches do. Yet they do not mix well with the kindness we’ve been given. I attended a banquet where a soldier was presented with the gift of a free house.  He nearly fell over with gratitude. He hugged the guitar player in the band, the woman on the front row.  He thanked the waiter, the other soldiers.  He even thanked me and I didn’t do anything.  Shouldn’t we be equally thankful?  John 14:2 says Jesus is building a house for us. Our deed of ownership is every bit as certain as that of the soldier!  The grateful heart sees every day as a gift.

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God promises, “When you pass through the waters, I’ll be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, nor will the flame scorch you.” (Isaiah 43:2)  Will your unhappy marriage become happy in a heartbeat? Well not likely.  Does God guarantee the absence of struggle?  Not in this life.  But He does pledge to reweave your pain for a higher purpose.

It won’t be quick.  Joseph was 17 years old when his brothers abandoned him.  He was 37 when he saw them again.  Another year passed before he saw his father.  Sometimes God takes His time.  But remember thatmyou are a version of Joseph in your generation.  His story is in the Bible for this reason: to teach us to trust God to trump evil.  And what Satan intends for evil, God redeems for good.  You will get through this.

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