“Just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.” 2 Corinthians 1:7
After learning that camping was a common pastime among happy families, Gary Smalley and his wife, Norma, decided to take their own brood into the wild. On a beautiful Kentucky night, the Smalleys gathered around a campfire, sang songs, and roasted hot dogs. By nine o’clock all were pleasantly tired and tucked into their camper beds. Gary thought, I can really see why this draws families together.
Then it struck. Thunder rolled and lightning flashed all around. Rain and wind assaulted the outside, then the inside, of the Smalley camper. The sudden storm turned what had been a relaxing evening into a night of fright.
Did this harrowing turn of events cause Gary and Norma to abandon the outdoors forever? Not at all—they became avid campers. The Smalleys discovered that sharing experiences, both fun and frightful, bonded them in ways they couldn’t have imagined.
Our encouragement to couples is to share each others’ interests and activities. Common endeavors will deepen your relationship and provide priceless family memories—even when storms strike.
Just between us…
How does sharing recreation and other interests build companionship?
(husband) Which of my favorite activities do you enjoy?
(wife) Do you appreciate having me join you in your activities? Which ones, and why?
What new shared activities could bring us closer together?
Lord, thank You for tonight’s encouragement to be friends and companions in many ways. Show us new ways to get the most out of life—together! Amen.
From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Tag Archives: Gary Smalley
Night Light for Couples – Word Pictures
“Jesus spoke to them again in parables, saying: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son.’” Matthew 22:1–2
Another extremely useful communication technique is the word picture, described by Gary Smalley and John Trent in their book The Language of Love. In one of their examples, a high school teacher and football coach named Jim came home each evening too tired to even talk to his wife, Susan, leaving her frustrated and angry. Finally, Susan told Jim a story about a man who went to breakfast with his fellow coaches. The man ate his favorite omelet, then gathered up some crumbs and put them in a bag. Then he went to lunch with more friends and ate a turkey tenderloin pie and a huge salad. Again, he put a few crumbs in a doggie bag to take with him. When he came home that night, he handed his wife and their two boys the little bags of leftovers.
“That’s the way I feel when you come home with nothing left to give,” Susan said. “All we get are leftovers. I’m waiting to enjoy a meal with you, hoping for time to talk and laugh and get to know you, longing to communicate with you the way you do every day with the guys. But all we get are doggie bags. Honey, don’t you see? We don’t need leftovers. We need you.”
Susan’s word picture brought tears to Jim’s eyes and led to positive changes in their marriage. You, too, may find that a graphic word picture is more effective at getting your mate’s attention than a torrent of hostile words.
Just between us…
- Why are word pictures often effective?
- Jesus often used word pictures to make a point (e.g., “I am the Good
Shepherd”). What word picture describes your feelings about us?
Lord, teach us to share our inner selves with our spouse. Remind us of the great value of this intimate exchange between married lovers. Amen.
From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
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