Years ago a friend gave me this counsel: Make a list of all the lives you would affect by your sexual immorality. I did. The list includes Denalyn, my three daughters, my sons-in-law, my grandchild, and more. And every so often I reread it. The list reminds me that one act of carnality is a poor exchange for a lifetime of lost legacy.

Dad’s, would you intentionally break the arm of your child? Of course not. Such an action would violate every fiber of your moral being. Yet if you engage in sexual activity outside your marriage, you’ll bring much more pain into the life of your child than would a broken bone. In 1 Corinthians 6:19, Paul asked the rhetorical question, “Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you?”

Actions have consequences. So what do you do? Simple…do what pleases God!

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Don’t equate the presence of God with a good mood or a pleasant temperament. God is near whether you’re happy or not. But do quarry from your Bible a list of the deep qualities of God, and press them to your heart. My list reads like this:

• He is still sovereign.
• He still knows my name.
• Angels still respond to His call.
• God is still faithful.
• He is not caught off guard.
• He uses everything for His glory and my ultimate good.

Lay hold of the unchanging character of God. Pray your pain out. Pound the table. Even Jesus offered up prayers with what Hebrews 5:7 describes as “loud cries and tears.” Your family may be gone. Your supporters may have left. But God has not budged! His promise still stands,“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.”

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Make God’s presence your passion. How? Be more sponge and less rock. Put a rock in the ocean, and what happens? It’s surface gets wet. The exterior may change color, but the interior remains untouched. Yet place a sponge in the ocean, and notice the change. It absorbs the water. The ocean penetrates every pore and alters the essence of the sponge. God surrounds us in the same way the Pacific surrounds an ocean floor pebble. He is everywhere—above, below, on all sides.

We choose our response—rock or sponge? Resist or receive? Everything within you says harden the heart. Run from God; resist God; blame God. But be careful. Hard hearts never heal. Spongy ones do. The Psalmist determined, “When I am afraid, I will trust in You.” Open every pore of your soul to God’s presence!

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You will never go where God is not! Envision the next few hours of your life. Where will you find yourself? In a school? God indwells the classroom. On the highways? His presence lingers among the traffic. In the hospital, the boardroom, the living room, the funeral home? God will be there.

Acts 17:27 says, “He is not far from each one of us.” Each of us. God doesn’t play favorites. All people can enjoy God’s presence. But many don’t. They plod through life as if their only strength was their own. As if their only solution comes from within and not from above. They live God-less lives. Lay claim to the nearness of God. Grip God’s promise like the parachute it is. Repeat it to yourself over and over: “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

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There’s one gift your troubles cannot touch: your destiny. I remember when my father had just retired. He and mom wanted to visit every national park in their travel trailer. Then came the diagnosis of ALS, a cruel degenerative disease that affects the muscles. Within months, the world, as he knew it, was gone.

Denalyn and I were preparing to do mission work in Brazil. I offered to change my plans. But Dad’s reply was immediate and confident. “Go, I have no fear of death or eternity, so don’t be concerned about me. Just Go. Please Him.” Much was lost: his retirement, years with his children and grandchildren, years with his wife. The lost was severe, but it wasn’t complete. “Dad,” I could’ve asked him, “what do you have that you cannot lose?” He still had God’s call on his heart! And so do you.

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We re-define ourselves according to our catastrophes. As a result, we settle for a small destiny! Think you’ve lost it all? You haven’t. The truth of Romans 11:29 is that “God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded.”

Here’s how it works. Your boss calls you into the office. As kind as it sounds, a layoff is a layoff. How will I pay the bills? Who’s going to hire me? Dread dominates your thoughts. But then you remember your destiny: What do I have that I cannot lose? Wait a second. I’m still God’s child. My life’s more than this life. God will make something good out of this. I will work hard, stay faithful, and trust Him—no matter what. Bingo! You just trusted your destiny. Another victory for God. It begins with a yes to God’s call on your life!

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You are God’s child. He saw you, picked you, and placed you! Jesus said, “You did not choose me, I chose you!” You are God’s child! Replacement or fill-in? Hardly. You are His first choice. The choice wasn’t obligatory, required, compulsory, forced, or compelled. He selected you because He wanted to. You are His open, willful, voluntary choice. He walked onto the auction block where you stood, and He proclaimed, “This child is mine.”

1 Peter 1:19 says, He bought you “with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.” You are His child forever. Your struggles will not last forever—but you will. The promise is in 2 Timothy 2:12. “If we endure, we shall also reign with Him.” Believe it…clutch it…tattoo it on the interior of your heart! You are God’s child!

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Genesis tells us, “When Joseph had come to his brothers, they stripped him of his tunic. . .they took him and cast him into a pit. . .and they sat down to eat a meal.” Joseph’s hands were bound, his ankles tied, and his voice became hoarse from screaming. It wasn’t that his brothers didn’t hear him. Twenty-two years later, when a famine tamed their swagger, they would confess, “We saw the anguish of his soul when he pleaded with us, and we would not hear.”

You’re a version of Joseph. You carry something of God within you—something the world needs. If Satan can neutralize you, he can mute your influence. Life in the pit stinks! Yet it forces you to look upward. Someone from up there must come down here and give you a hand. God did for Joseph. He will do the same for you!

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Several years ago the state was rebuilding an overpass near my house. Three lanes reduced to one, transforming a morning commute into a daily stew. The project, like human history, had been in development since before time began. My next-door neighbors were highway engineers, consultants to the department of transportation. “It’ll take time,” they responded to my grumbles, “but it will get finished. “ They had seen the plans.

In the Old Testament story of Joseph, God allows us to study His plans. Brothers dumping brother. Their family feuds scattered like nails and cement bags on a vacant lot. But watch the Master Builder at work. He cleared the debris and stabilized the structure. And the chaos of Genesis 37:24—“They cast him into the pit”—became the triumph of Genesis 50:20—“life for many people.” God redeemed the story of Joseph. Can’t He redeem your story as well?

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In God’s hands intended evil becomes eventual good! Nothing in the Old Testament story of Joseph glosses over the presence of evil. Bloodstains, tearstains are everywhere. Joseph’s heart was rubbed raw against the rocks of disloyalty nd miscarried justice. Yet time and time again God redeemed the pain. The torn robe became a royal one. The pit became a palace.

The broken family grew old together. The very acts intended to destroy God’s servant turned out to strengthen him. “You meant evil against me,” Joseph told his brothers, using a Hebrew verb that means to weave. You wove evil, he was saying, but God rewove it together for good. God, the Master Weaver. He stretches the yarn, intertwines the colors. Nothing escapes His reach.

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Have you wept your final tear or received your last round of chemotherapy? Not necessarily. Will your unhappy marriage become happy in a heartbeat? Not likely. Does God guarantee the absence of struggle and the abundance of strength? Not in this life. But he does pledge to reweave your pain for a higher purpose.

It won’t be quick! Sometimes God takes His time. Twenty years to prepare Noah for the flood, eighty years to prepare Moses for his work. How long will God take with you? He may take His time. His history is redeemed not in minutes but in lifetimes. We see a perfect mess; God sees a perfect chance to train, test, and teach. We see a prison; God sees bootcamp. What Satan intends for evil, God redeems for good!

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Whatever it is—you’ll get through this! You think you won’t. But we all do! We fear the depression will never lift, the yelling will never stop, the pain will never leave. We wonder, will this gray sky ever brighten? Will we ever exit this pit?

Yes! Deliverance is to the Bible what jazz music is to Mardi Gras— big, bold, and everywhere. Out of the lion’s den for Daniel, the prison for Peter, the whale’s belly for Jonah, the grave for Lazarus, and the shackles for Paul…God gets us through stuff! Through the wilderness, through the valley of the shadow of death– through is a favorite word of God’s! Isaiah 4:32 says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned…” You will get through this!

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How do we flourish in the midst of tragedy? Remember Joseph? Genesis records his story. It says his brothers “hated him.” They put him into a pit, leaving him for dead. And then they covered up what they’d done. And Joseph’s story got worse before it got better. Abandonment led to enslavement, then entrapment, and finally imprisonment. He was sold out. Mistreated. Yet he never gave up. His heart never hardened; his resolve never vanished. He not only survived—he thrived!

Speaking years later to the brothers who’d betrayed him Joseph said, “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result” (Genesis 50:20).  In God’s hands intended evil becomes eventual good!

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You have the power to change someone’s life simply by the words that you speak. Proverbs says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21 NKJV). That’s why Paul urges you and me to be careful. “When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger” (Ephesians 4:29).

Your words are to their soul what a vitamin is to their body. If you had food and saw someone starving, would you not share it? If you had water and saw someone dying of thirst, would you not give it? Of course you would. Then won’t you do the same for their hearts? Your words are food and water. Do not withhold encouragement from the discouraged. Speak words that make people stronger. Believe in them as God has believed in you.

From A Love Worth Giving

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God believes in you! And I wonder if you could take some of the belief he has in you and share it with someone else?  Could you believe in someone?  One German poet said, “Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.”

How do we show people that we believe in them? Show up! Nothing takes the place of your presence. Do you believe in your kids? Then show up…at their games…and at their plays. It may not be possible to make each one, but it’s worth the effort. Do you believe in your friends? Show up at their graduations and weddings. Spend time with them. You want to bring out the best in someone? Then show up. And let God’s word be the authoritative word in your world.

From A Love Worth Giving

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Do you know anyone who is wounded and afraid? Do you know anyone who is guilty and embarrassed? Do you know anyone who needs a cloak of love? “Love covers a multitude of sins,” the scripture says in 1 Peter 4:8. Love doesn’t expose. It doesn’t gossip. If love says anything, love speaks words of defense. Words of kindness. Words of protection.

Do you know anyone who could use some protection? Of course you do. Then give some. Pay a gas bill for a struggling elderly couple. Promise your kids that, God being your helper, they’ll never know a hungry day or a homeless night. Tell your husband that you’d do it all over again and invite him on a honeymoon. Make sure your divorced friends are invited to your parties. Do you know anyone who needs a cloak of love? Then, give it.

From A Love Worth Giving

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Paul writes, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15 NASB). Do you want to plumb the depths of your love for someone? How do you feel when that person succeeds? Do you rejoice or are you jealous? And when he or she stumbles or falls into misfortune? Are you really sorry? Or are you secretly pleased?

Love never celebrates misfortune. Never! Real love changes people. Didn’t God’s love change you? You know your love is real when you weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. Do you want to know what love is? “This is what real love is– It is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us. He sent his Son to die in our place to take away our sins” (1 John 4:10).

God passes the test! And well he should —he drafted it! He rejoices with you; may you rejoice with others.

From A Love Worth Giving

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Life has a way of unloading its rubbish on our doorstep! Your husband works too much. Your wife gripes too much. Your kids whine too much. The result? Trash! Load after load of bitterness, anxiety, deceit, and distrust. It all piles up. Now, mark it down. Today’s anger is tomorrow’s abuse. Today’s lust is tomorrow’s adultery. Today’s guilt is tomorrow’s fear. Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions. So, deal with the trash!

Could that be why Paul says, “Love. . .keeps no record of wrongs?” (1 Corinthians 13:5 NIV). Let trash pile up and people are going to smell it. Are we victims of the emotional bacteria of the season? Or do we have a choice? Paul says we have an option. “We capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). We have a choice. You might want to check your garbage.

From A Love Worth Giving

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The psalmist says, “The Lord heals all your diseases” (Psalm 103:2-3 NIV). Do you think among those diseases might be the affliction of anger? God can help you get rid of your anger. Do you want him to? This isn’t a trick question. You may be addicted to anger. You may be a rage junkie. Anger may be part of your identity. But if you want him to, God can change your identity.

Do you have a better option? Like moving to a rejection-free zone? If so, enjoy your life on the deserted island. When others reject you, let God accept you. Leave your anger at the tree of Calvary. He is not frowning. He is not mad. He sings over you. Take a long drink from his limitless love, and cool down!

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“How’s life?” someone asks. And we who have been resurrected from the dead say, Well, things could be better. Or… I couldn’t get a parking place. Or…My parents won’t let me move to Hawaii. Or… People won’t leave me alone so I can finish my sermon on selfishness.

Really? Are you so focused on what you don’t have that you are blind to what you do? If so, then come. Come thirsty. Come and drink deeply from God’s goodness.

You have a ticket to heaven no thief can take,

an eternal home no divorce can break.

Every sin of your life has been cast into the sea.

Every mistake you’ve made is nailed to the tree.

You are blood-bought and heaven-made.

A child of God—forever saved.

So be grateful, joyful—for isn’t it true?

What you don’t have is much less than what you do!

From A Love Worth Giving

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