Bill de Blasio, the former mayor of New York City, and his wife, Chirlane McCray, recently told the New York Times that they are separating after nearly thirty years of marriage. However, they are not planning to divorce and will continue to share the townhouse where they raised their two children.

Instead, they are “opening” their marriage to date other people, choosing what is now known as “consensual non-monogamy.”

Marriage therapists say they have seen a definite rise in such arrangements. This is one version of “polyamory,” a growing movement to advocate for polygamy, “throuples,” and other forms of non-monogamous romantic relationships. Towns and municipalities are now legalizing such partnerships, fulfilling the warning by Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts (much ridiculed at the time) that the 2015 Obergefell decision legalizing same-sex marriage would open the door to polygamy as well.

“Let the marriage bed be undefiled”

We are living in a day when marriage is being redefined to include nearly any imaginable sexual relationship. However, God’s word could not be more clear: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).

Are we witnessing his judgment in our day?

Our Father deals with us as gently as he can or as harshly as he must. Consequently, his judgment takes two forms: permissive and punitive.

The first phase of his response to sin is typically to permit us the consequences of our rebellion against his word and will. For example, when people “did not honor him as God or give thanks to him” (Romans 1:21), “God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves” (v. 24) with disastrous consequences that read like today’s news (vv. 26–31).

If permitting the consequences of our sins will not lead us to repentance, God must shift to punitive judgment in which he responds directly to our rebellion and unrighteousness. We see this in the Exodus, for example, and in his judgments described in Revelation.

“The single most common cause of marital dissolution”

It is clear that our nation is in at least the first phase of divine judgment against sexual immorality.

In 2001, 91 percent of Americans considered it immoral for married people to have sexual relations with someone other than their spouse, the very arrangement Bill de Blasio and his wife are announcing. Today, roughly 60 percent say the same; the more educated the respondent, the greater their acceptance of adultery.

What are the consequences of such sin? Research shows that “infidelity is reliably associated with poorer mental health particularly depression/anxiety and PTSD, and relationship dissolution/divorce which has been shown to adversely impact offspring.”

In fact, “across 160 societies, infidelity is the single most common cause of marital dissolution.”

Four practical responses

How can you and I avoid this trap?

First, define sexual morality as God does.

Jesus forbade lust (Matthew 5:28) because he knew it to be the root of all other sexual sins. This includes pornography, sexual fantasy, “emotional affairs,” and all other ungodly thoughts and desires. God’s standard is clear: sexual relations are reserved for a lifelong marriage covenant between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:2).

Second, ask God’s Spirit to help you choose personal godliness (Ephesians 5:18).

You can “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18) when you use temptation to seek the help of God’s indwelling Spirit (1 Corinthians 3:16). “All noble things are difficult” (Oswald Chambers), but “we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Romans 8:35).

Third, seek forgiveness if you fail.

If you confess your sins, God is “faithful and just” to forgive them and to cleanse you from “all” unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). This does not mean that we can simply sin and confess, then sin and confess. Even though God forgives all we confess, we must do so with a repentant heart that seeks not to sin again. And even then, the consequences of our sins will often remain.

Fourth, call others to godliness in a spirit of humility.

Our broken culture deserves to know the reality of God’s permissive and punitive judgment against our sins, but “speaking the truth in love” must be our mantra (Ephesians 4:15). St. Augustine observed: “Men are hopeless creatures, and the less they concentrate on their own sins, the more interested they become in the sins of others. They seek to criticize, not to correct. Unable to excuse themselves, they are ready to accuse others.” Don’t let this be true of you.

“The high soul climbs the high way”

It was my great honor last Saturday to deliver the message at the memorial service for Dr. Russell Dilday, longtime president of Southwestern Seminary and my mentor, hero, and spiritual father. Dr. Dilday’s most famous sermon and most prophetic book were both titled “Higher Ground.” In them, he called us to a civility that transcends rancor and a witness that transforms culture.

His sermon was prompted in part by a John Oxenham poem he recites in his book:

To every man there openeth a way and ways, and a way. The high soul climbs the high way; The low soul gropes the low, And, in between, on the misty flats, the rest drift to and fro. And every man decideth the way his soul shall go.

Which way will you choose today?

Denison Forum

Today marks two months since the Allen Premium Outlets mass shooting left eight people dead and seven injured. Since Allen is just north of Dallas, the shooting felt even more personal to me, not to mention those who live there and are still grieving. This tragic anniversary follows a tragic 2023 Fourth of July during which sixteen mass shootings killed fifteen people and injured nearly a hundred more across thirteen states and Washington, DC.

Such heartbreaking news on our nation’s birthday calls to mind C. S. Lewis’s perceptive comment regarding democracy:

You may think all men so good that they deserve a share in the government of the commonwealth, and so wise that the commonwealth needs their advice. That is, in my opinion, the false, romantic doctrine of democracy. On the other hand, you may believe fallen men to be so wicked that not one of them can be trusted with any irresponsible power over his fellows. That I believe to be the true ground of democracy.

As we continue our Independence Day focus on America, let’s think together about the “true ground of democracy” in light of a question I believe every believer in our country should consider.

The foundational issue of our day

Jacob Wolf, a government professor at Regent University who formerly taught at Princeton, writes in Public Discourse that democracy “has become a secular religion, complete with its own dogmas, practices, clerics, and eschatology.” In this worldview, “progress replaces providence, humanitarianism replaces charity, and mind (or reason) replaces God himself.”

The more Christianity declines in our culture, the more this secular religion which he identifies as “democratism” is rising to replace it.

Wolf rightly responds:

Democracy, like many good things, is destroyed if it is elevated above all else. Democracy is valuable to the extent that it is placed in its proper position and context—bounded and balanced by other elements. As Edmund Burke wisely noted, one does not obtain liberty, equality, and self-government by merely letting go of the reins; these things require a complex system of incentives, punishments, and checks and balances that parallel the complexities of human nature. Our Founders understood this far better than do the democratists.

He concludes that “democracy is ineradicably religious; the question that remains is whether religion can bolster democracy without being swallowed up by it.”

I consider this question to be the foundational issue of our time.

“The nation that will not serve you shall perish”

As I have often written, the American democratic experiment was built on a consensual morality that was itself dependent on the Judeo-Christian worldview. John Adams’ often-quoted warning is just one of the scores of statements by the Founders I could cite: “Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”

Over the last two centuries, however, much has happened to shake this foundation. For example:

• Darwinian evolution undermined belief in the historical accuracy of Scripture.
• The Civil War, two World Wars, global pandemics, the Great Depression, and the rise of global terrorism persuaded many that God (if he exists) cannot be all-knowing, all-loving, and all-powerful.
• Freudian analysis taught our culture that God is a fantasy based on the infantile need for a dominant father figure.
• Postmodern relativism convinced us that all truth claims (including those of the Bible) are personal and subjective with no normative authority over our lives and society.
• The sexual revolution and escalating LGBTQ activism are persuading many that biblical morality is outdated, irrelevant, and even dangerous to society.

All the while, our democratic form of governance has persisted but without its moral or cultural foundations. It was perhaps inevitable, given our fallen “will to power” and innate drive to “be like God” (Genesis 3:5), that we would use democracy to replace biblical religion with a secular religion in which, to repeat Wolf’s description, “progress replaces providence, humanitarianism replaces charity, and mind (or reason) replaces God himself.”

This secular religion, if unchecked, will be our undoing as a nation. It will continue to replace truth with tolerance, leading millions into unbiblical immorality that is destructive to themselves and those they influence. It will lead us away from our only Source of abundant (John 10:10) and eternal life (John 3:16) into a Christless darkness in this world and the next.

And it will provoke God’s righteous judgment on our rejection of his word and will, as the prophet testified to him: “The nation and kingdom that will not serve you shall perish; those nations shall be utterly laid waste” (Isaiah 60:12).

Now you can see why I consider Wolf’s question “whether religion can bolster democracy without being swallowed up by it” to be so urgent.

Words I pray every day

Our most practical response begins with ourselves:

• Do you serve God so that he will serve you or so you can glorify him in gratitude for his grace (1 Corinthians 10:31)?
• Do you read his word, pray, worship, read content like this article, and engage in other spiritual activities as a means to your ends or so you can more effectively advance God’s purposes for your life and world (Matthew 6:33)?
• Is the Holy Spirit one of your life resources or the strength of your soul (Ephesians 5:18)?

I struggle with these issues as well. As a result, I find it necessary to say these words from the Book of Common Prayer every day:

To my humble supplication Lord,
give ear and acceptation.
Save thy servant, that hath none
Help nor hope but Thee alone.

Will you pray them with me today?

Denison Forum

Here’s a story to begin your post-holiday morning: eight roller coaster riders were stuck hanging upside down for around three hours at a festival in Wisconsin last Sunday. No matter what happens to you today, you can remind yourself that you weren’t one of them.

Such stories remind us that we don’t know what we don’t know. If we knew the roller coaster was going to shut down in the middle of a ride, we wouldn’t ride on it. If we knew the plane would crash or the road ahead would shut down because of a wreck, we wouldn’t travel on it.

Sometimes we get lucky. For example, a man spotted a crack in a support beam on a roller coaster in North Carolina and alerted authorities who then shut down the ride. Now I’m wondering how many other roller coasters around the country have cracks that no one has discovered.

I’m not alone in worrying about the unknown future. According to a new Fox News survey, only 43 percent of Americans think our best days as a nation are ahead of us. This is a nine-point drop from two years ago and a nineteen-point decrease since 2017. In similar news, Gallup reports that only 31 percent of us have confidence in the US government, a decline of twenty-five points since 2006.

As we continue our Independence Day focus on America, let’s ask: What explains our nation’s loss of hope? What can we do about it?

“You don’t even have to be religious”

In a profound new essay, writer C. D. Cunningham reports that a “new religion” is emerging in our day. In his words, it “blends elements of modern and postmodern philosophies to form a belief system focused on identity, equity, and societal critique. It encourages self-discovery, introspective growth, and activism for systemic change.

“With rituals and mythology adapted for the digital age, the faith supports a non-falsifiable metaphysical worldview and champions inclusivity, diversity, and individual expression, all in pursuit of an envisioned utopian future.”

We see examples of such secular spirituality all around us every day.

For example, “The Nearness” is an online cooperative composed of eight-week courses in which groups meet to self-reflect and experiment with a variety of secular spirituality practices. Various writers urge us to pursue “spiritual awakening” by exploring our own “spiritual paths.” Biblical morality is mischaracterized and castigated wherever possible, as with this Verge headline: “Supreme Court rules for web designer who wanted to discriminate against gay clients.”

Meanwhile, books such as the popular Holy Moments: A Handbook for the Rest of Your Life invite us to seek God in the everyday but offer no discussion of sin, repentance, or the need for saving faith in Christ. (For more, see Chris Elkins’ excellent review on our website). A man who is helping to distribute the book in his community said, “You don’t have to be a Christian, you don’t even have to be religious, and you can still do the holy moments. It really goes beyond religion, into just the goodness of human beings.”

“Truth has stumbled in the public squares”

Here’s the problem: “Your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you so that he does not hear” (Isaiah 59:2). As a result, “truth has stumbled in the public squares, and uprightness cannot enter” (v. 14).

Billy Graham commented on Judges 21:25, “Everyone did what was right in his own eyes”: “Too many people today feel that the old moral standards are useless and out of date, and they ought to be free to make up their own minds about what is right and what is wrong.”

He responded: “I wonder if we have honestly faced the logical result of this belief. . . . Aren’t things like racism and injustice and genocide always wrong? Shouldn’t we always condemn as immoral a tyrant who allows millions of children to die of starvation?” He concluded: “The moral standards God has given us are always best—for society, and for us as individuals. The reason is because he created us, he loves us, and he knows what is best for us. Don’t be misled by those who deny God’s moral standards. His way is always best.”

When sin is exalted, those who stand for biblical truth should expect to be oppressed: “On every side the wicked prowl, as vileness is exalted among the children of man” (Psalm 12:8). Consequently, we can judge our spiritual health by the degree to which we are in conflict with a sinful culture. And we can judge our love for America by our willingness to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) whatever the cost.

“We may trample on God’s meadow”

St. Augustine noted: “My brothers, we do not seek, nor should we seek, our own glory even among those whose approval we desire. What we should seek is their salvation, so that if we walk as we should they will not go astray in following us.”

Consequently, “our concern should be not only to live as we ought, but also to do so in the sight of men; not only to have a good conscience but also, so far as we can in our weakness, so far as we can govern our frailty, to do nothing which might lead our weak brother into thinking evil of us.

“Otherwise, as we feed on the good pasture and drink the pure water, we may trample on God’s meadow, and weaker sheep will have to feed on trampled grass and drink from troubled waters.”

What “grass” and “waters” will you offer our nation today?

Denison Forum