And the spirit of the king longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death. 2 Samuel 13:39
A relational stalemate is separation from someone with whom you have enjoyed good times in the past. You have loved each other with a rare level of relational understanding. You both have a lot invested, yet there is no communication from either of you. Misunderstanding may have led to disappointment, and disappointment may have led to anger, and anger to total rejection. In whatever circumstance you find yourself, it is not worth maintaining relational separation. The distance needs to be dissolved. You owe it to each other, your family, the Christian community, and you owe it to God. There is a debt of love that is begging to be paid.
So where do you start? A good place to start is for the one in authority to make a genuine gesture toward reconciliation. You may want to invite your estranged friend or relative into your home for a meal and conversation. Reach out to this person without any expectations other than to accept and love them at their point of need. Leave any behavior and attitude change to the work of the Holy Spirit. Your first step of acceptance will at least breach the wall of communication. It may take multiple lobs of love before there is any reciprocation, so be persistent and trust God with the results. It takes time for relational stalemates to become resolved, so don’t stop initiating. Increase your overtures of acceptance.
Moreover, be open to a mediator. God can use a third party as a catalyst to break the chains of relational resistance. Wise and discerning friends—or even strangers—can be facilitators of rational thinking. Prayerfully choose someone both parties respect and will respond to willingly. This unbiased individual can be an instrument of healing sent by heaven. God can use a mediator to send forth His truth, so pray for someone with a spirit of gentle boldness who can keep you focused on facts and on the character of Christ. This godly bridge builder may be just what’s needed to break the relational logjam.