On a routine trip through well-worn streets, I found myself pulled out of the fragmented consciousness of a mind captive to the day’s worries with the jarring lyrics of a song. Up until that point, the song itself was much like the familiar patterns of scenery, an external factor impervious to the siege of my own fears; I was seeing but not seeing, hearing but not really hearing. But then I suddenly took in the artist’s abrupt words: Hoping to God on high is like clinging to straws while drowning.(1)
The stark image of clinging to straw while desperately trying to stay afloat cleared everything else from my mind. It also set me thinking about the descriptive words of a friend hours earlier. Encouraging me in the midst of a difficult place, a friend simply reminded me that I was not alone. She was intending to assure me of her friendship and support, but I also knew she was assuring me that I was not aimlessly floundering on my own, with God no where to be found. “The LORD is near to all who call on him,” declares the psalmist; and I needed to hear it.
Christians take comfort in the thought that God is among us, comforting our fears, quieting our cries of distress, standing near those who call, moving in lives and history that we might discover the God who is there. As a follower of Jesus, knowing that he is with me as a fellow human in struggle and darkness is one of the only reasons I don’t completely surrender to my fears and stop moving forward. Knowing that there is a God of grace, beauty, truth, and mystery, which the Spirit is constantly at work lifting me toward, is the hope I remember when I fear death, my console when I fear uncertainty, the picture that somehow makes sense of a strand of DNA and quiets my fear of being uncared for and alone. I can relate to the resolution of the psalmist in a world of many and distant gods: “But as for me, it is good to be near God. I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge” (73:28).
But what good is it if there is indeed a throne but it is empty, a kingdom without a king, a god who may be close but is like straw? Who is it who is near us? If god is an impersonal force, or a tyrant, or a distant, semi-interested being, then neither God nor God’s kingdom is any sort of refuge. If the hope we cling to is like straw that cannot actually save us from drowning then we have good reason to live in fear, “huddled,” as the musician later describes, “afraid if we dance we might die.”