How biblical, covenantal friendships can help

Friendships are on the decline, in quantity, but especially in quality. Due to the rise of social media and digital communication, modern relationships often lack depth, commitment, and longevity. The world seems to value individual preference, side hustles, pets, social media appearances, and hobbies over friendships.

These values can infiltrate the church, but so can prioritizing family and spouses at the expense of healthy, deep, covenantal friendships. First, let’s discuss the so-called “friendship recession,” then we can unpack how you and your church can combat it.

The friendship recession

This shift has occurred rapidly, although the phenomenon likely predates the technology. From 1975 to 2000, there was a 35 percent drop in having friends over and a 58 percent drop in club meeting attendance. This decline in America’s social fabric is only exacerbated by social media and casual friendships.

Unlike the friendships of previous generations, which often formed through shared life experiences, community engagement, and long-term interactions, friendships today tend to be more transactional and fleeting. The number of Americans with no close friends quadrupled from 4 percent to 12 percent over the period from 1990 to 2021. This decline has been called the “friendship recession.”

Broadly speaking, people who go to church regularly fare better in the friendship department. Church can be a wonderful place to make close relationships. Church involves a social gathering where folks have shared values—namely, the gospel—and engage in common activities like singing and discussing the Bible. Unfortunately, churches haven’t always capitalized on this fact.

Instead, the friendship recession has affected not only personal relationships but also how friendships are perceived within the church. Rather than being viewed as a crucial aspect of spiritual growth and Christian living, friendships have become secondary to romantic and familial relationships.

This modern neglect of deep, covenantal friendships has significant implications for the church.

When friendships are not prioritized or nurtured, churches can become fragmented, with individuals forming small, insular groups rather than functioning as a unified body. This lack of deep connection weakens communities, making it easier for people to leave their church for minor reasons or to seek fulfillment elsewhere.

If friendships were viewed through a covenantal lens—similar to the biblical examples of David and Jonathan, or even Jesus and His disciples—churches would foster a stronger sense of commitment, accountability, and support among their members.

Biblical examples of covenantal friendship

The Bible presents numerous examples of friendships that transcend cultural expectations and personal circumstances. Jonathan and David, for example, model the biblical picture of covenantal friendship. There are several moments when David and Jonathan show brotherly affection and make lifelong commitments to friendship, but this passage from 1 Samuel stands out:

Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lᴏʀᴅ, saying, ‘The Lᴏʀᴅ shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” (1 Samuel 20:42)

This kind of commitment has the potential to transform both individual lives and church communities. Their friendship was marked by unwavering loyalty, self-sacrifice, and deep emotional connection, demonstrating the power of covenantal love. Jonathan risked his own safety and position for David’s well-being, showing that true friendship often requires personal sacrifice.

In addition to David and Jonathan’s friendship, Jesus Himself modeled deep relational bonds with His disciples. He did not merely serve as their teacher; He called them friends (John 15:15). His love for them was sacrificial and enduring, as seen in His commitment to walking with them in their weaknesses, encouraging them, and ultimately laying down His life for them.

Similarly, the early church exemplified communal friendship in Acts 2:42-47, where believers devoted themselves to fellowship, shared their resources, and supported one another in radical ways.

These examples remind us that friendships in the Christian faith are not meant to be optional or superficial but integral to spiritual growth and community flourishing.

Does every friendship need to be covenantal?

Does every friendship need to be covenantal? In short, absolutely not.

Friendship is not a single category. We use the same word to describe people we occasionally see, people we share activities with, and people who carry our inner lives—but not all friendships are meant to hold the same emotional weight.

The difference between them is not primarily time spent, proximity, or shared interests; it is emotional posture: how open, exposed, and responsible two people are willing to be with one another.

Covenant friendship is not a higher-value human being but a deeper shared agreement. It cannot exist unilaterally. Close and covenant friendships only form when both people—implicitly or explicitly—agree that the relationship carries the next level of responsibility.

When intimacy is assumed without mutual clarity, it becomes high-liability rather than life-giving. Covenant friendship, at its core, is not about intensity or constant access, but about mutual commitment to presence, repair, and care across seasons of change.

As Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” While it’s important for every believer to have one to a few covenantal friendships, there’s no need to stress about making everyone into that kind of friend! It’s a rare, treasured thing that should be protected, cultivated, and celebrated.

How can your church encourage covenantal friendships?

Often, friendships within the church remain segmented along lines of age, marital status, or shared interests, rather than functioning as a holistic, intergenerational community. When friendships are not intentionally cultivated, they can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, weakening the overall fabric of the church.

However, if churches were to intentionally cultivate and encourage friendships across different groups—between singles and married couples, across generations, and even across cultural backgrounds—there would be a greater sense of unity and mutual encouragement in the body of Christ.

A culture of covenantal friendship would encourage members to commit to one another in love, fostering an environment where spiritual growth, accountability, and encouragement thrive. This shift would strengthen the church and provide a countercultural witness to a world that often undervalues deep, committed relationships.

To cultivate these kinds of friendships, we need to take practical steps:

• First, churches should actively teach about the value of covenant friendships, incorporating it into sermons, Bible studies, and discipleship programs.
• Second, believers should commit to spending intentional time with one another, prioritizing friendship in their schedules rather than relegating it to occasional interactions.
• Third, accountability should be a natural part of these relationships, where friends encourage one another in faith, challenge each other to grow spiritually, and walk through trials together.
• Lastly, churches should create spaces where friendships can naturally develop, such as small groups, mentorship programs, and intergenerational gatherings.

Reclaiming the biblical vision of covenantal friendship is essential for both personal and communal flourishing. Friendship, when understood as a covenantal relationship rather than a casual association, has the power to transform the church into a more unified, supportive, and spiritually mature body. By looking to biblical examples and intentionally investing in deep, Christ-centered friendships, we can cultivate a church community that reflects the eternal, relational joy of the kingdom of God.

As marriage fades away in eternity, friendships will remain, demonstrating the enduring nature of covenantal love. In a culture that often isolates individuals and prioritizes independence over interdependence, the church has the unique opportunity to reclaim friendship as a foundational element of Christian life. By doing so, we offer a glimpse of heaven: a

community united in love, bound by faith, and strengthened through covenantal friendship.

To whom can you offer that glimpse of heaven today?

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The El Paso airport was shut down late Tuesday night after the Customs and Border Protection (CBP) fired an anti-drone laser at an object flying near the border. The Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) ordered all flights grounded and closed the airspace up to eighteen thousand feet for a period of ten days in response. Or at least that was the plan until the FAA reversed course eight hours later and reopened everything.

It was a strange event, and a good bit of digital ink has been spilled in the time since attempting to get to the bottom of what caused the shutdown. As of now, here’s what we know:

• The Department of Defense (DOD) has been testing new anti-drone technology at Fort Bliss, which sits just outside of El Paso, TX.
• The DOD failed to inform the FAA that it would use this technology—a high-powered laser—creating a problem, as anti-drone weapons could potentially affect commercial aircraft that fly in and out of El Paso. Or, at least, that was the fear.
• After the laser was used to target what Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy described as a cartel drone incursion into American airspace—other reports say it was actually just a party balloon—the FAA shut down the airport for ten days.
• The ten-day shutdown appears quite excessive until you consider that the Pentagon and FAA officials were set to meet on February 20—one day before the shutdown was originally scheduled to end—to discuss the safety implications of testing those weapons so close to a commercial airport.
• The Pentagon had previously told the FAA about the lasers and how they planned to use them, but reports indicate the FAA did not receive enough information to be comfortable keeping the airspace open.

So, given those details, what are we to make of their decision, and are we likely to see further shutdowns in the future?

What’s the real problem?

The speed at which the FAA removed the restrictions, coupled with the specific timeframe of the initial closure, makes it sound as though the shutdown was more to get the DOD’s attention than because they truly feared for the safety of the aircraft flying in and out of El Paso. That the FAA neglected to tell either the White House or the Pentagon of its decision further points to safety being a secondary concern.

Continue reading Denison Forum – Why did the government shut down El Paso’s airport? →

Four biblical responses when Christians are stigmatized

Jennifer Welch was an Oklahoma City-based interior designer and reality show actress before launching a podcast in 2022. Titled “I’ve Had It,” her podcast now has 1.5 million subscribers on YouTube and 4.5 million followers across social media. She has interviewed former President Barack Obama, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), then-Vice President Kamala Harris, and New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani, among many others.

Known for her profane rants against conservatives—she claims the 2024 assassination attempt on President Trump was “totally staged,” for example—she has now turned her ire on evangelicals.

Bonnie Kristian reports in the Free Press that Welch recently called us “the worst people in our country” and said in May, “I detest, with every molecule . . . in my being, evangelical Christianity. I think it is a dumb factory.”

Welch claims that “evangelical Christianity is the biggest racket on the planet” and repeatedly uses the epithet “cancer” to describe us. In her view, “Until we start dealing with this horrific cancer that is white evangelical Christianity in this country, we’re going to continue to have these problems.”

Kristian notes that “scorn heaped on evangelicals is not new.” She cites Yale University legal scholar Stephen L. Carter, who wrote in 1994 that secular progressives saw evangelicals as “wide-eyed zealots.”

Political scientist Ryan Burge explains: “People on the left side of the political spectrum need an enemy. They need to personify what the other side is, and because white evangelicals are so prominent in America, they have become the totem for all the liberal ire against conservatives in America.”

As corrosive to the common good as Welch’s rhetoric is, it is also a signal of something even more systemic, a trend we must recognize clearly so we can respond redemptively.

The four-part strategy continues

My wife and I watched a television show this week in which one of the female characters develops a romantic relationship with another woman. The other characters respond with delight that their colleague has finally “found someone” and hope their relationship lasts.

I was reminded again of the LGBTQ strategy that has been developed and followed over recent decades: normalize unbiblical immorality, legalize it, stigmatize those who disagree, and criminalize such disagreement.

However, the apparent chronological staging of this strategy is deceptive. Those who follow it will continue their efforts to normalize such immorality until they convince us that it is not immoral. Many will continue their work to legalize their immorality, as with current efforts to protect and legalize pedophilia. And they will continue stigmatizing those who disagree until there is no one left to disagree, all the while criminalizing such opposition in the service of the first three stages.

Jennifer Welch’s profane diatribes against evangelicals are obviously in the service of the stigmatizing stage. If Dr. Burge is right (and I think he is), we should not assume that there will not be others, or that criminalization of evangelicals who defend biblical morality is not in our future.

Numerous efforts have already been mounted to threaten our religious liberty, as the so-called Equality Act that passed the House twice demonstrates. Christianity Today reports that “across Western Europe, Christians report ‘discrimination and bullying’ and in some instances even ‘loss of employment’ for expressing faith-based opinions in their workplaces.” Some have even faced repercussions for views they expressed in private conversations or posted on private social media accounts.

Of course, such persecution does not begin to rise to the opposition believers face in North Korea, China, Cuba, and parts of the Muslim world. But when evangelicals are so blatantly stigmatized on one of the most popular podcasts in America, we should take note of where things are and where they may be going.

An “anonymous Christian” is a contradiction in terms

At this point, you might be discouraged by what you’ve read. My purpose, however, is just the opposite.

Jesus assured his followers, “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account” (Matthew 5:11, my emphasis). Our Lord warned us that we would be persecuted just as he was persecuted, which makes sense: those who saw him as a threat would see his followers as a threat. If they opposed him for proclaiming truth, they would oppose his followers for doing the same (cf. Acts 5:17–40).

A simple way out of this, of course, is to be silent about our faith as we hide our beliefs from those who would oppose them. However, an “anonymous Christian” is a contradiction in terms. If a “Christian” is a “Christ imitator” (cf. 1 Corinthians 11:1; 1 John 2:6), we cannot imitate our Lord and be anything but vocal and courageous in speaking his word and advancing his kingdom (cf. Acts 4:19–20).

As a result, the more we are stigmatized for our faith, the more we can know that we are being appropriately public with our biblical beliefs. And the more we can know that Satan himself is using those willing to be used as he fights truth with lies.

Four practical responses

In this sense, it is an odd compliment when someone like Jennifer Welch castigates us so profanely and hatefully. Our response should be to expect such attacks, then to redeem them for God’s glory.

Here’s how the Bible teaches us to respond to those who oppose our faith:

1. “Forgive others their trespasses” (Matthew 6:14), choosing to pardon rather than to punish in the knowledge that we have been forgiven much as well (cf. Luke 7:47).
2. “Pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44), recognizing that the more they reject biblical truth, the more they need it.
3. “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27), seeking tangible ways to meet their needs so as to earn the right to share Christ with them.
4. “Be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:9), asking God to help us “continue to speak your word with all boldness” (Acts 4:29).

In all things, we must remember that we are not “culture warriors” for whom people like Jennifer Welch are our enemies, but cultural missionaries for whom they are our mission field. The good news, as my wife writes in her latest blog, is that God’s Spirit can fill us with the same agape love that God’s Son has for us.

Then, as Janet notes, “we can love like Jesus.”

Whom do you know who needs such love today?

Quote for the day:

“The good man has his enemies. He would not be like his Lord if he had not. If we were without enemies, we might fear that we were not the friends of God, for friendship of the world is enmity to God.” —Charles Spurgeon

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