Jairus heard two voices and had to choose which one to heed. The first, from the servants in Luke 8:49, “Your daughter is dead.” The second, from Jesus in verse 50, “Don’t be afraid.”
We need to know what Jesus will do when we entrust our kids to him. In the case of the story of Jairus, Jesus united the household (vs. 51). “…he let only Peter, John, James, and the girl’s father and mother go inside with him.” Next, he banished unbelief, the scoffers. “He put them all outside, took her by the hand and called, saying, ‘Little girl, arise” (vs. 54 NKJV).
God has a heart for hurting parents. After all, God himself is a father. Keep giving your child to God, and in the right time and the right way, God will give your child back to you.
Walk into any hospital waiting room and you’ll notice that administrators have tried to address a challenging problem: how to assist people who are waiting under duress. Someone in a waiting room may be preparing to receive bad news. To distract them, magazines are laid out, calming music is played, and televisions are tuned to programs that entertain. It is never easy to wait.
When Paul wrote to Titus, he understood that Christians were waiting. Jesus had ascended to heaven and promised to return, but it would not happen right away. Some Christians had already died without seeing Christ return. It was slowly becoming clear that this might take a while. Christians would have to wait.
Paul doesn’t attempt to distract Christians in God’s waiting room, rather he reminds them that they have been transformed by the grace of God (v. 11). That transformation continues as they “say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions” (v. 12). Living the way Christ commanded is one of the central ways Christians-who-wait sustain their hope in Christ’s return (v. 13). Paul reminds them that Jesus Christ gave Himself to redeem us from wickedness. He died to purify us, so that we could be His own people, ready to do good (v. 14). He gives additional guidance for waiting behavior in chapter 3: “to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone” (vv. 1–2).
Distraction may work in a hospital waiting room, but it is not fitting for Christians who wait for Christ to return. We are called to live lives that sustain our hope and enable us to do good, while we look forward to the glorious return of Christ.
Go Deeper
Are you distracting yourself while you wait for Jesus to return? Sometimes distractions can be harmful to those who hope in Christ. Take a moment to consider how you can wait differently. Extended Reading:
Titus
Pray with Us
Merciful Lord, as we wait for Your coming, we confess we are often distracted by the troubles and worries of this world. Thank You for Your guidance on how to wait well in Paul’s letter to Titus.
Live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope.Titus 2:12–13
It is better to be content with what the eyes can see than for one’s heart always to crave more. This continual longing is futile—like chasing the wind.
Ecclesiastes 6:9, NET
The English naturalist and cleric John Ray published a Collection of English Proverbs in 1670. One of the proverbs he recorded—“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”—has its origins as far back as the seventh century B.C.: “Better is a sparrow held tight in the hand than a thousand birds flying about in the air.”
King Solomon understood this principle: Being content with what one has today is better than being anxious about what one wishes he had. Living in a state of “continual longing,” Solomon wrote, “is futile—like chasing the wind.” Sometimes we forget the lessons of Eden, that God created a world for us to enjoy on a daily basis. Yes, that world has been marred by sin and sin’s ill effects, but that does not mean we should be dissatisfied with the joys we can experience each day. The apostle Paul affirmed the benefits of contentment in 1 Timothy 6:6-10.
Ask God for wisdom in finding the balance between what you have and what you desire.
Contentment with what we have is absolutely vital to our spiritual health. Jerry Bridges
My cousins, who lived only two miles away when we were growing up, weren’t allowed to interact with my family. They never came to reunions or talked to us at the local grocery store. Their parents said it was because, back then, we didn’t attend church and we’d be a bad influence on them. What a surprise when many years later, a cousin attended my eldest brother’s funeral! He approached us one by one and humbly apologized for their attitude. Our relationship with him began to be restored.
Jacob needed a humble heart to seek restoration with his twin brother, Esau. Jacob, the second born, had connived against Esau: He stole his brother’s birthright (Genesis 25:19-34) and deceived his elderly father into giving him the firstborn’s blessing (26:34–27:40). Furious, Esau threatened to kill him, so Jacob had run to another country.
Years later, Jacob wanted to return home but was afraid the deep division between him and his brother wouldn’t be resolved without bloodshed (32:6-8). When he and Esau finally met, he humbly “bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother” (33:3). He feared Esau would kill him, but instead Esau came running “and embraced him” (v. 4).
Whether we’ve harmed another or have been harmed, it takes humility, openness, and often much work to heal the brokenness. But God can and will help us.
Reflect & Pray
What relationships in your life might need restoration? How can you start the process?
Dear Father, please keep me from holding grudges or becoming bitter and help me forgive others and ask for forgiveness.
Broken relationships can be hard to mend, but God calls us to be in community with one another. Learn how we can work to mend relationships by reading this article.
Today’s Insights
The rift between Jacob and his brother Esau began when Jacob first stole Esau’s birthright and then through treachery gained the blessing his father had intended for his older brother Esau (Genesis 27:27-36). Esau had vowed to murder Jacob in revenge (v. 41). In Genesis 32-33, Jacob sent ahead of his traveling party many gifts, hoping the gifts would soften Esau’s anger (32:13-21). When Jacob finally encountered Esau face to face, he said, “Please accept the present that was brought to you” (33:11). The word translated “present” here is literally “blessing,” the same word used for the blessing Jacob stole from Esau (27:35-36). In this way, Jacob emphasized that he recognized how he’d harmed Esau and desired to make amends. Today, as we humbly seek to bring healing to our broken relationships, God will help us.
It’s a sign of our times when a movie is so sexually immoral that even reading reviews of it can veer toward the pornographic. But such is the case with Wuthering Heights, the film adaptation of the Emily Brontë novel that was released Friday to a very mixed reception.
One reviewer calls the film an “abomination.” Another calls it an “insult” to the novel’s characters and describes its sex scenes as “truly exhausting.” The New Yorker portrays some of these scenes in ways I will not reproduce here and hope you won’t read.
To switch “art” forms: the latest Sports Illustrated “Swimsuit Edition” is out. The magazine has been doing this since 1964, sometimes in nearly pornographic ways. This year’s edition does something new, however: it features six wives and girlfriends of prominent NFL players. Among them is Brittany Mahomes, whose husband is an iconic superstar widely considered one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.
As with Wuthering Heights, I will neither link to the images nor view them myself. One reason is obvious: Jesus warned us that “everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). We are therefore told to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18), a command I intend to obey.
But the other reason is less obvious and constitutes the theme of my article today.
The three marks of a revolution
Last Thursday, I referred to the LGBTQ advocacy strategy I have been describing for years in books and articles: normalize unbiblical immorality, legalize it, stigmatize those who disagree, and criminalize such disagreement.
A reader responded by pointing me to a similar way of describing this strategy that I had not seen. In Reinventing Liberal Christianity, the British theologian Theo Hobson describes the three marks of a revolution:
What was universally condemned is now celebrated.
What was universally celebrated is now condemned.
Those who refuse to celebrate are condemned.
As a means to advancing such a “revolution,” the first step is to normalize “what was universally condemned.” We are reticent to celebrate what we consider aberrant, so we must be convinced that what we thought was aberrant is actually normal.
With regard to sexual immorality, the enemy does this in two ways.
From models to mothers
The first is modeled by the women modeling very revealing swimwear in Sports Illustrated. In the past, athletes, actresses, and professional models have typically been the subjects of the annual publication. This year, however, the magazine chose wives and girlfriends of athletes, some of whom are known for their public roles as wives and mothers.
One result is the supposition that if “normal” people engage in activities we would have considered immoral, it must be normal for us to do the same.
The second way immorality is normalized is illustrated by Wuthering Heights and its extremely aberrant sex scenes. Even reading the reviews, it is clear to me that these are activities “normal” people would not even consider.
My concern is not that those who see the movie are now more likely to do what the characters did. It is that they will think, “If people do things like this, my more ‘normal’ sins must not be as sinful as I thought.”
And when any activity becomes normalized in society, we can expect society to want it to be legalized. We saw this with marijuana legalization, which the New York Times strongly advocated but now admits has “caused a rise in addiction and other problems,” with widespread hospitalizations and chronic psychotic disorders.
Nonetheless, it is natural for us to want to legalize what we consider normal behavior, then to stigmatize those who disagree and even to criminalize such disagreement. As Hobson noted, in this third stage of a revolution, “Those who refuse to celebrate are condemned.”
Two practical responses
Given the extreme pervasiveness of sexualized images and behavior in contemporary culture, spanning the gamut from advertising to music to television to movies to Super Bowl halftime shows (again, I won’t link to examples), how are Christ followers to respond?
First, we should see all temptations as a step from what seems “normal” and innocuous into what will become disastrous and deadly. Jesus warned us that “everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin” (John 8:34). And “sin when it is fully grown brings forth death” (James 1:15). Lust becomes adultery, which becomes the destruction of our family and the ruin of our public witness and ministry.
As I heard a pastor say and often quote: sin will always take you further than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost you more than you wanted to pay. If you think you’re exempt from this satanic strategy, you of all people are most susceptible to it.
Our second response is to turn to the only source of true victory: “Walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16, my emphasis). Jesus taught us, “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all” (John 6:63). Paul was blunt: “Those who are in the flesh cannot please God” (Romans 8:8).
Clearly, we cannot rely on our sinful nature to defeat our sinful nature. How then do we “walk by the Spirit”?
We begin the day by submitting our lives to him (Ephesians 5:18), reading God’s word so the Spirit can use it to shape our minds and guide our steps (Hebrews 4:12), and drawing close to Christ in worship so he can make us like himself (2 Corinthians 3:18).
We “walk” through the day by practicing his presence: we pray about all we encounter (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and turn every temptation immediately to him for his strength and help (1 Corinthians 10:13; Romans 13:14).
If we fall, we immediately seek his forgiveness and restoration (1 John 1:9).
When we “walk in the light, as he is in the light” (1 John 1:7), we experience our Father’s best in every dimension of our lives (cf. Galatians 6:7–8). As the biblical scholar Spiros Zodhiates noted,
“Peace of heart is the natural outcome of purity of heart.”
Will you experience such “peace” today?
Quote for the day:
“If your goal is purity of heart, be prepared to be thought very odd.” —Elisabeth Elliot
First Samuel 3:19 contains two extraordinary accolades regarding the prophet Samuel: “The LORD was with him” and “Everything Samuel said proved to be reliable” (NLT). But those accolades raise some important questions: Why Samuel? Why did the Lord choose to be with him? Why did the Lord make sure that everything he said proved to be reliable?
The Bible doesn’t answer those questions directly, but it does offer some clues. Earlier in the chapter, we learn that, as a boy, Samuel served the Lord by assisting the priest Eli in the tabernacle. One night, while Samuel was sleeping, he heard someone call his name. Assuming that it was Eli, Samuel rushed to the priest to see how he could be of service. But it wasn’t Eli who had called him. Three times Samuel heard the voice. And three times he rushed to Eli.
The fourth time Samuel heard his name called, he simply and humbly said, “Speak, your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:10 NLT). Why did God use Samuel in such a powerful way? Probably because he was available—not just during business hours, but in the middle of the night, out of a dead slumber. He was eager to serve every time his name was called.
Believers today can learn a lot from Samuel. We should always be available to be used by God. Our prayer should be, “Lord, You can use me anytime, anywhere, for any purpose—whether it’s my day off or not. I may be out surfing or on the golf course or out snowboarding, but I want You to call on me. I am always available to represent You. Please call on me.” Every Christian must be available and ready to echo the words of Samuel: “Speak, your servant is listening.”
God is not looking for ability as much as He is looking for availability. You may think, “God only uses the really talented people. He will never use me. There’s not much I can offer Him.” But God is looking for someone simply to be available and to let Him be strong on their behalf. God isn’t looking for strong people. He is looking for weak people through whom He can be strong. That means every person is qualified to be used by God. That means God can use you.
There is no telling how God will use you. But there are ways to make yourself available to Him. One is by putting yourself in the right place at the right time as much as possible. You can’t share your faith with others if you don’t interact or spend time with them. Another way to make yourself available to Him is to stay alert to the opportunities He sends your way.
Are you available to be used by God? If not, why don’t you let the Lord know that you would like Him to call upon you? If Samuel’s story teaches us anything, it’s that God may call upon you before the night is over.
“When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule, the people mourn.” (Proverbs 29:2)
Many can remember when the nation observed holidays on both the birthday of President Lincoln (February 12) and that of President Washington (February 22). These two men were widely revered as our nation’s greatest presidents, and their birthdays were patriotic holidays. But modern intellectuals have been actively tarnishing their reputations, while our people have become more and more enamored of recreation, so this situation has now “devolved” into a three-day holiday theoretically honoring all presidents.
We are thankful, of course, that most of our presidents have indeed been God-fearing men. None were atheists and many have professed belief in Christ and the Bible. God surely led our founders when they formed our constitutional republic, and our presidents and most other leaders have diligently supported it. Christianity has thrived in our country as a result, and we have become acknowledged everywhere as the world’s greatest nation.
But signs of deterioration are abounding, and Christians need to pray. If Paul were here today, he would surely repeat (and slightly rephrase) his first-century admonition to young pastor Timothy: “I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; for [presidents], and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior; who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:1–3). We can also heed Peter’s advice: “Honor all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the [president]” (1 Peter 2:17). HMM
[For Abraham, human reason for] hope being gone, hoped in faith that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been promised…No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God.
Romans 4:18-20 (AMPC)
In our ministry we want to help more people every year, and we believe God wants us to grow. But we also realize that if God has a different plan, and if we end our year with no growth, we cannot let that situation control our joy.
We believe for many things, but beyond them all, we believe in Someone. That Someone is Jesus. We don’t always know what is going to happen. We just know it will always work out for our good!
It is reported that Abraham, after sizing up his situation (he didn’t ignore the facts), considered the utter impotence of his own body and the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. Although all human reason for hope was gone, he hoped in faith. Abraham was very positive about a very negative situation!
Hebrews 6:19 tells us that hope is the anchor of the soul. Hope is the force that keeps us steady in a time of trial. Don’t ever stop hoping. Don’t be afraid to hope. No one can promise that you’ll never be disappointed. But you can always have hope and be positive.
Prayer of the Day: Lord, strengthen my hope in You. Help me stay positive even in uncertain seasons, trusting that You are working for my good and anchoring my soul with unshakeable confidence, amen.
Fear turns some parents into paranoid prison guards who monitor every minute and check the background of every friend. A family with no breathing room suffocates a child.
On the other hand, fear can also create permissive parents. Fearing that their child will feel too confined or fenced in, they are high on hugs and low on discipline. They don’t realize that appropriate discipline is an expression of love.
Permissive parents. Paranoid parents. How can we avoid the extremes? We pray. Jesus’ big message to moms and dads? Bring your children to me. Pray that your children have a profound sense of place in this world and a heavenly place in the next. Parents, we can entrust our kids to Christ.
Shame is a powerful emotion. In most cultures, people work very hard to avoid shaming others or bringing shame upon themselves or their families. But shame can be a motivator. Feelings of shame might prevent us from doing bad things. On the other hand, feeling ashamed might cause us to stop doing something we should be doing!
Paul, once again imprisoned for preaching the gospel, took time to write a second letter to his spiritual son Timothy. He knew that his time on earth was coming to an end, so he wanted to impart wisdom to someone he loved dearly. Using the metaphor of fanning a fire, he challenged Timothy not to let what God was doing in his life die out, but rather to grow in strength (v. 6). God’s gift was not a fearful spirit but a powerful one, full of love and self-control (v. 7).
We can be sure that Timothy needed this reminder because living a gospel-centered life comes with risk of rejection, suffering, and shame. But because the spirit of God gives power, Timothy did not need to be ashamed or fearful. Even his association with Paul, a prisoner, wasn’t a cause for embarrassment because God is the one who empowers!
Paul understood that there were times when people should be ashamed of their sinful behavior (2 Thess. 3:14). There are also times, however, when people should not be ashamed. For example, Paul understood that his work for the gospel brought about suffering, but this was not a cause for shame because he was following Christ’s instructions. Paul had no need to be ashamed because he was obeying the One who defeated death and gave him eternal life (v. 10)! With confidence he would tell Timothy: Do not be ashamed of the gospel (v. 8).
Go Deeper
As one who follows Christ, you have no need to be ashamed of the gospel or about obeying the One who has given you eternal life. Have courage! Extended Reading:
2 Timothy
Pray with Us
Jesus, we need Your reminder to cherish the work You are doing in our lives and to be courageous warriors for the gospel. Thank You for giving us a Spirit of “power, love and self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).
For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.2 Timothy 1:7
It has been one year since Vice PresidentJD Vancelaid a smackdown on European nations over the issue of free speech. You may remember that last year, when Vance spoke at theMunich Security Conference(MSC), he castigated the countries in attendance for their interpretation of freedom of speech, among other things.
JUST IN: Vice President JD Vance rips European leaders to their faces at the Munich security conference, calls them out for criminalizing free speech.
Vance specifically called out the United Kingdom for being the worst of them all. “I wish I could say that this was a fluke, a one-off crazy example of a badly written law being enacted against a single person. But no… Free speech, I fear, is in retreat.”
The BBC remembers that Vance told the audience that the “greatest threat the (European) continent faces comes from within,” and that “the audience were visibly stunned.”
Since then, Europe has intensified its enforcement of the oppressive and OrwellianDigital Services Act(DSA), which mandates the censorship of speech over allegations of “illegal content,” “hate speech,” and “disinformation.”
Against this backdrop, Poland’s Minister of Foreign Affairs Radosław Sikorski showed up at this year’s MSC and, during a panel discussion, offered his own rebuttal of sorts to what Vance said last year.
NOW – Poland’s FM Radosław Sikorski says the U.S. should not impose its free speech values on Europeans: “In the U.S., it’s almost absolute… whereas in Europe, for good historical reasons… we believe in freedom of speech with responsibility.”
That’s a lot to “unpack,” as the kids say, but it’s something we need to do in order to better understand where Europe is coming from and just how wrong they are even by their own so-called standards.
We have a genuine civilizational difference on how we understand freedom of speech. In the United States, it’s almost absolute. It’s almost impossible to win a case of defamation or libel…In Europe, for good historical reasons, for example, in Poland it is forbidden to speak up on behalf of fascism and communism for very good historical reasons, Sikorski said.
The “good historical reasons” are that Poland, in particular, was trampled by fascist Germany under Hitler and by the Communist Soviet Union after him. Poland did not get to experience life outside of fascism and communism until after U.S. PresidentRonald Reaganled the effort to end the Cold War in the 1980s.
Sikorski may remember that one of the world’s—and Poland’s—most iconic figures from that time,Lech Wałęsa, emerged to free Poland from communist rule through his Solidarity movement. Without Wałęsa, Poland would not have so boldly driven back communism.
Walesa has had a lot to say about free speech over the years. Like the time he said, “When you silence people, you weaken your own country.” Or when he said, “We wanted freedom, and freedom includes the right to criticize.” Or that time he shared, “Censorship is the enemy of truth.” And finally, when he said, “Freedom of speech is the foundation of every democracy.”
Listening to Sikorski, it feels like he either forgot about Walesa’s words, or he wants us to do so.
Using Sikorski’s logic, and that of the people who made it illegal to praise fascism and communism, if you allow people to openly praise that thing you don’t like, your own values and systems of governing aren’t capable of mounting an effective defense. Therefore, you must suppress these things.
To arrive at these conclusions, you have to ignore the timeless messages thatLech Wałęsashared: that you cannot have freedom or democracy if you do not allow people to say what you dislike; that you will likely lose the truth once you start down the path of governmental censorship.
We believe in freedom of speech with responsibility. And what happened here a year ago was that the vice president of the United States was telling us that our notion of free speech was censorship, and I just don’t accept that. So, the difficulty we now have is that one side of the Atlantic is trying to impose on the other side, Sikorski added.
For an American to read that or to hear that, it would be easy to misunderstand where “freedom of speech with responsibility” comes from. At first, it sounds like a trite justification for the unjustifiable denial of free speech rights, but the term does have a history.
Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor and the author of the classic Man’s Search for Meaning. He was held in Nazi concentration camps, including Auschwitz (in Sikorski’s Poland) and Dachau (in Germany, not that far from where Sikorski made his comments) between 1942 and 1945.
Frankl said two things about “responsibleness” that may provide necessary context for Sikorski’s comments. First, he said, “Freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness.” And second, he stated, “Responsibleness is the very essence of human existence.”
When Frankl talked of “responsibleness,” he was saying that with freedom comes responsibility – not responsibility in the form of following rules or being prepared to take blame – but something deeper. He was talking about something that must come from within each of us and cannot be imposed on us. If we want freedom, we must personally accept responsibility for how we handle that freedom. This is a natural counterbalance he often described.
What Frankl did not mean was that if the government grants you a freedom – like free speech – it should then assign certain responsibilities and conditions for the exercise of that freedom.
When Sikorski described “freedom of speech with responsibility,” he was jumping to the wrong conclusion about what Frankl intended. Sikorski doesn’t see free speech as a right, but as a privilege granted by government that can be taken away by government. He sees free speech “with responsibility” as a compliance issue, not a freedom issue.
Last year, when Vance took the whole of Europe out to the woodshed to make the point that it’s not government’s job to interfere with free speech rights, that wasn’t absolutism. He was simply recognizing that there are certain limits to government power – such as censorship – in a healthy democracy.
Sikorski heard that and now says that when Vance was telling Europe that its “notion of free speech was censorship,” he didn’t accept that.
That’s where Sikorski totally exposed his ignorance on the very issue of free speech as a human right. When you advocate for controls and limits on speech, that is by its very nature censorship. It doesn’t matter what your history is or your stated intent now. It’s still censorship. If you believe in the meaning of words and logic itself, you have to accept that. But Sikorski and the rest of Europe do not.
This is the mindset that enables Europe to slide from censoring speech on fears over the potential for a return of another Hitler or Stalin, to arresting and censoring a man who’s praying to himself in public over the loss of his unborn son. Only a European could miss the absurdity of this and the potential peril that comes with it. When you suppress the populace in the name of combatting fascism, you become that thing you hate.
Lillian, a senior at the University of Virginia, is taking a step that has scandalized her parents, peers, and professors.
It has nothing to do with her performance at UVA. Lillian is killing it academically. She is a dedicated volunteer in Charlottesville, and looks primed to make her mark on the world. In these ways, she is a typical student at Mr. Jefferson’s university. But what makes her really stand out from the crowd at UVA is that she is planning on getting married this year, in November, at the age of twenty-two.
Her early marriage plans did not go over well with her parents, at least not initially. When Lillian told her parents, they “weren’t immediately supportive”—in fact, they were “angry, maybe heartbroken.” She added, “They want what’s best for me, and they defined that as seeing the world, working for [awhile], and ‘realizing my full potential’ before settling down. While I understand the appeal of that [conventional] path—and sure, a random weekend trip to Spain sounds nice—it simply doesn’t measure up to the importance of marriage for me.”
Her parents’ concerns about her marrying young were echoed by many of her professors, friends, and other family members. “Marrying young is [viewed as] abnormal” for many of her college friends and mentors, she said. They think your twenties are for “figuring out who you are,” having fun, and—above all—getting your career launched. One professor at UVA put it this way: “You’re throwing your whole life away. Why would I help you get a job if you’re not going to work that long? You could be something really cool on Wall Street, and you’re choosing marriage instead.”
The pushback has been profound because so many of her peers and professors are devoted to what I’ve called the “Midas Mindset”—the idea that what matters most in your life is building your own individual brand, seeing work as the summit of your life, and steering clear of the encumbrances of family life in your twenties. Your twenties are supposed to be devoted to education, work, and fun. This decade is for self-development and having the freedom and independence to do what you want, when you want. Only after you have gotten all your ducks in a row, around the age of thirty, are you supposed to even think about something or someone beyond yourself—to lean into love, marriage, and family life.
“I’ve had to fight off [so much] unsolicited ‘advice’ and cling to what I know to be true: I am ready to be married,” she told me. Her relationship is strong, she and her boyfriend are mature, she is eager to start a family, and she is devoted to her Christian faith. What matters most to her (besides her faith) is marriage and family and she’s ready to get started on both. “Why should I delay the life I truly want and know is right just because society calls it ‘abnormal’?”
Although Lillian is in the minority at UVA, her pursuit of early marriage is supported by a growing chorus of voices on the right. From online influencers such as Riley Gaines to White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, from conservative pundits like Ben Shapiro to tech billionaires like Palmer Luckey, young marriage is getting renewed attention as a valuable option. But no one has given voice to the case for young marriage more prominently and insistently on the right than Charlie Kirk, who was killed five months ago.
To be honest, I had not paid a lot of attention to Kirk prior to his assassination on September 10, beyond knowing that he was a prominent Republican political organizer and campus activist. But after he was killed, I learned that besides being a big player in politics, Kirk had also been a powerful and prophetic voice on behalf of something bigger than politics: the American family. I also came to learn that this man, a man who never even graduated from college, was possessed of more wisdom than many academics when it came to our most fundamental social institution, marriage. Not only did he frequently and eloquently articulate the value of marriage and family in general, but he also made the case for young marriage in particular. In fact, Lillian named Kirk as one of the thinkers who shaped her decision to embrace young marriage.
Kirk’s case for twenty-something marriage to young adults was three-fold. First, the culture is telling you to lean into work and travel. But working for the man and “traveling to Thailand” is not going to bring you the fulfillment you think it will. Second, you will minimize your odds of being miserable and maximize your odds of living a meaningful and happy life by getting married and having kids. So, don’t wait to embark on life’s most important journey. Third, do not assume that you can wait until your thirties to find a spouse and start your family. If you wait, you may miss out.
Of course, as Lillian’s experience indicates, Kirk’s view is by no means the majority view today. Most professors, peers, and parents encourage young adults to steer clear of a trip down the altar and focus instead on money and work. A recent Pew survey found that nearly nine in ten parents say financial independence and career fulfillment are crucial for their kids. But when it comes to marriage and children? Only one in five think those are extremely or very “important” for their kids when they reach adulthood. As Kay Hymowitz observed, “college-educated professionals and devoted parents [prod] their kids to prepare for the Big Career. When it [comes] to that other crucial life goal—finding a loyal, loving spouse, a devoted parent for their grandchildren—their lips [are] sealed.”
This helps explain why students such as Holly, a recent UVA graduate, told me that “UVA students are definitely more focused on their education and getting their career started than getting into a serious relationship,” adding: “If it happens, great, but the focus is definitely on building our own brands first. The thought process is, relationships and love are a risk, but you will always have your career and success to fall back on— at least while you are young.” She’s not alone. Young adults overwhelmingly prioritize the Midas Mindset over marriage: while 75 percent of eighteen- to forty-year-olds consider making a good living crucial to fulfillment and 64 percent say the same about education, according to one recent poll, just 32 percent view marriage as essential.
But the path to living a meaningful and fulfilling life, as Kirk realized, is much more likely to run through marriage and family than it is through money and work, not to mention traveling to Thailand. Of course, there are plenty of voices in mainstream and social media today telling young women and men otherwise. From the left, we have writers like Amy Shearn in TheNew York Times insisting that “married heterosexual motherhood in America … is a game no one wins.” From the right, online influencers like Andrew Tate assure us that “the problem is, there is zero advantage to marriage in the Western world for a man.”
Elizabeth, a thirty-four-year-old lawyer living in Texas, would beg to differ with these marriage and family naysayers. She’s living the dream valorized by the Midas Mindset—she has graduated from a top college in the South, gotten a fancy law degree, works for Big Law, and pulls down a large six-figure salary. But financial and professional success have not been enough. She is feeling alone and dissatisfied with a life that hasn’t yet led to marriage and motherhood.
A recent visit to her sister’s home crystalized her sense of dissatisfaction. “My sister just had her third baby,” she told me, also noting that her sister and her husband are struggling financially to stay afloat supporting their growing family. Meanwhile, on the very day she was visiting them, Elizabeth got news from her boss that she had received a promotion and salary boost at the Texas law firm where she works.
But visiting with her sister and newest niece at their home that day, Elizabeth didn’t feel happy about her promotion; she just felt sad about the absence of family in her life. “I sat there on the stairs in the house with her [and the baby],” she said, continuing, “And I would have given every dollar in my bank account to have my sister’s life… How empty the promotion felt when my sister has her third baby.”
Charlie Kirk would not be surprised by Elizabeth’s dissatisfaction. He knew young adults’ faith in the Midas Mindset was mistaken. In a podcast the day before he was killed, Kirk said that young women without families were more likely to be “miserable.”
Kirk’s way of framing the issue is off-putting to many. But he is onto something. Young women (aged 22-35) who are single like Elizabeth are indeed more likely to report that they are lonely and unsatisfied with their lives. Fifty-five percent report that they are frequently lonely compared to 36 percent who are married; likewise, 47 percent of unmarried young women say they are “not satisfied” with their lives, compared to just 18 percent who are married, according to the American Family Survey.
It’s not just women. Young men (22-35) who are single and childless are also more likely to be lonely and unsatisfied with their lives. Unmarried young men are 23 percentage points more likely to be frequently lonely and more than twice as likely to be unsatisfied with their lives compared to their married peers. One thirty-something man pulling in a healthy six-figure salary in New York City underlined his frustrations with his love life in this way: “Even for those of us who are successful in other areas of life, the [way] these dating apps [rate us] feels futile and transactional,” adding he had not been able to find a good relationship. “The experience is immensely lonely.”
The inverse is also true. Kirk was a big booster of twenty-something marriage in part because he saw it as the best path to forging a meaningful and happy life for young adults. He noted the “happiest women in America are married with children” and encouraged his followers to “Live life to the full” by forming families.
Here again, Kirk knew what he was talking about. You might not guess it from watching the latest episode of Emily in Paris, but the happiest young women (22-35) today are not footloose and fancy free, they are married moms. And the ones least likely to be happy are single and childless. Data from the General Social Survey indicate that 41 percent of young married moms (22-35) are “very happy” with their lives, compared to just 14 percent of their female peers who are single and childless. That’s a big gap.
What is particularly striking about this gap is that it flies in the face of conventional wisdom among single women today. A majority (55 percent) of unmarried women today believe that single women are typically happier than married women, according to a recent poll from the Survey Center on American Life. Conditioned by social and mainstream media to view marriage and family as constraints on women’s freedom, exposed to one pop cultural offering after another depicting urban single life as the best, and occasionally frustrated by lackluster dating experiences, many young women have grown skeptical of our oldest social institution.
But these marriage skeptics haven’t met Samantha. This young woman met her future husband in New York City in her early twenties, while working in the theater. At that point, she was “eat, sleep, and breathe Broadway” and living in a world where most of her friends put “career first, family second.” But after meeting and falling in love with Joey, who shared her Catholic faith and love of family, she decided to forge a different path. Samantha got married, left New York for the more family-friendly environs of Texas and started a family.
“I don’t miss that season, because I love the season that I made,” said this twenty-nine-year-old wife and mother of two young children, who now works part time in the theater. “I don’t want to miss a moment with the kids and with Joey, and it brings me even more joy to sit down and be able to have dinner with my husband every night than to be off on a stage every night” without them. Samantha is clearly happy amidst the hubbub of family life.
What about young men? Kirk once observed that for men, getting married amounted to a kind of death—“It’s the death of the bachelor mindset. It’s the death of the wondering eye. It’s the death of ‘I get what I want to do.’ It’s the death of playing video games until 1 a.m..” That may seem off-putting to some young men, but Kirk went on to say, of marriage and men, that “it’s the birth of a man” who now finds meaning, direction, purpose in something larger than himself, and is happy for it.
Samantha’s husband, Joey, whom I taught when he was an undergraduate at UVA, would certainly agree with the idea that twenty-something marriage has involved sacrifices, though not quite the ones Kirk mentioned. Once they decided to get married, Joey left his high-flying finance job in New York City for a more “family-oriented” firm in Dallas that would give him more time with Samantha and the kids they hoped to have.
This twenty-nine-year-old finds family life in Texas much more meaningful than his single phase in New York. “When you’re single, there’s a lot of excitement. But it’s all individual, right? Everything is experienced just by yourself,” he said, adding, “The world opens up so much more when you have a life partner, and a family that you can experience it with together.” Getting married and having kids, for Joey, means “experiencing their joy on top of your joy—it is exponential.”
Indeed, young married men (22-35) who are married with children are almost three times as likely to be “very happy” with their lives compared to their peers who are single and childless. Only 14 percent of young men who are single and childless are “very happy” compared to 37 percent of their peers who are married fathers. Not only are young adults who put a ring on it happier with their lives in general, the research also suggests they enjoy marriages that are somewhat happier and more sexually satisfying than those who marry later. These data suggest young men and women who take their cues from pop culture—whether classic shows like Friends or contemporary series like Adults, both celebrating single life in New York City—may be in for a rude surprise. Because the reality is that today’s young men and women who reject this path, like Joey and Samantha, are the ones truly thriving.
Most of the students that I teach at the University of Virginia are planning on waiting until around thirty to marry and start a family. One reason this is their plan is that it is the current social convention—the median age at first marriage is close to thirty for today’s young adults, according to the census. Another is that most of their parents expect them to wait until around thirty to put a ring on it.
Zach’s experience with his parents is typical. Although the twenty-two-year-old senior at UVA is personally hoping to marry his long-term girlfriend in the next two years, his parents had more conventional expectations for him. Their message to him was “you’re very young, definitely don’t tie yourself down,” he told me, adding that from their perspective “obviously college and career are the important things to focus on right now.” Like most parents, they assumed Zach could focus on building a relationship in his late twenties and then get married as he approached thirty.
This was Elizabeth’s view, as well, when she was in college and law school in her early and mid-twenties. She had dated successfully in high school growing up in Texas, describes herself as “reasonably attractive” and “friendly” and simply assumed that it would be easy to date in her twenties, after she had finished law school. Back in her early twenties, she said, “I was thinking more about just, you know, education and work,” adding, “I wanted to get married, but pursuing it wasn’t a priority.” She thought she had time to focus on education and work in her early twenties and then pivot to finding a husband in her late twenties. This approach to sequencing education, work and marriage that “was in the air” when she was in her twenties. Hence, she did not “feel any urgency in pursuing a relationship” in her early twenties.
She now regrets that. Because after graduating from law school in her mid-twenties, she spent almost two years in New York City working long hours at a big law firm until she was twenty-seven. She found the New York dating scene difficult, in part because her job required “insane” hours that did not leave much time for socializing. But when she returned to Texas, she did not find dating—primarily through online platforms—much easier in her late twenties. In fact, online dating was hard, because there is no easy “way of figuring out chemistry” through online profiles. And she was getting nervous in her late twenties, realizing that she would have to find a good guy, establish a relationship, marry, and start having kids before her biological clock might make getting pregnant more difficult.
Her concerns about the timeline for forming a family were legitimate. That’s because even though she did find a serious boyfriend in her early thirties, that relationship recently ended when he made it clear he did not want children. So, right now, at the age of thirty-four, Elizabeth has no clear path towards marriage and motherhood.
Looking back, Elizabeth wishes she had dated seriously in college. The students in her selective college were smart and hard-working; she thinks she could have found a guy back then who would have been a good fit for her—both “roughly the same intelligence” and the “same nerdy personality” that she has. But her parents did not encourage her to date when she was in college or law school “because I think they just had no idea how difficult it actually would be” to date later. In fact, “they’re very surprised that I’m not married.”
What her parents—and many other parents, professors, and peers of today’s young adults—don’t know is that dating has become much more difficult now than it used to be. A new Wheatley-Institute for Family Studies (IFS) report finds that about two-thirds of young adults (22-35) who are not married but interested in marrying had not dated or dated only a few times in the last year, in part because they lack the confidence to approach the opposite sex. Another survey from Pew found that more than one-third of single young adults (18-39) are not looking to date. Trends like these help explain why a record share of today’s young adults—one-in-three—are projected never to marry.
They also explain why Charlie Kirk made this provocative claim about young women’s odds of having a child: “If you don’t have kids by the age of thirty, you have a 50 percent chance of not having kids.” His comment struck even me as a stretch, and I’ve been studying the American family for the last twenty-fix years. But, again, he was onto something. An analysis of retrospective demographic data by Grant Bailey at IFS found that women who are middle-aged today and reached thirty without starting a family did indeed have only a 52 percent chance of having children. It’s true that delayed motherhood is increasingly common, and that may nudge the statistics in a slightly more optimistic direction for women reaching thirty childless. Still, the fundamental calculation remains: Cross that threshold without children, and your odds of having children fall closer to almost one-in-two.
Statistics like this can seem abstract, but they’re not for women and men like Elizabeth who are struggling to find love and get started on a family in their mid-thirties. This is even more so for the record share of never-married adults in their forties. One never-married female colleague at UVA who falls into this demographic jokingly told me that more college students need to start thinking again about the BA as the place to find a Mrs. or Mr. degree.
She’s onto something. In my sociology of family class at the University of Virginia, I tell my students that they’ll never again be surrounded by such a large pool of eligible dating prospects as they are in college. What’s more: Given the difficulties so many young adults face when it comes to dating today, I add, they should be extra attentive to seizing the manifest opportunities college presents to find a potential mate.
This is not to say there are no risks associated with twenty-something marriage or that everyone should marry their college love. The biggest risk is divorce, given that couples who marry in their early twenties are more likely to land in divorce court, in part because they are more likely to be immature. But those risks can be minimized, I also tell my students, by focusing on finding a mate who is a good friend, as well as by embracing a common faith and avoiding cohabitation. Younger couples who are religious and do not cohabit prior to marriage are less likely to divorce.
But marrying in your twenties also has upsides that don’t get enough play in today’s culture. It maximizes your odds of forging a meaningful life as a young adult, and of having the number of kids you would like to have. It minimizes the odds that your own parents’ “time as grandparents is shortened,” as Elizabeth told me. And, by lending direction, meaning, and a sense of solidarity to your life, it gives you a much better shot at succeeding in the classically American “pursuit of happiness.”
Of course, marrying in your twenties is predicated on finding the right someone. I was fortunate enough to spot the woman who would become such a friend in a UVA classroom more than thirty years ago. It took Danielle and I three years after our first date at Mr. Jefferson’s University to find our way to the altar, at the age of twenty-four. But one thing is certain: Graduate school, work, and parenthood in our twenties and thirties were immeasurably happier and more meaningful because we had marital love as the foundation of our young adult lives.
The value of a young marriage doesn’t just matter for young adulthood. It extends into mid-life. As we head into this Valentine’s Day, I’m so grateful that I did not hesitate to pursue and marry Danielle in our early twenties. I cannot imagine mid-life without her and our kids.
This is another reason that I tell my students they need not wait until thirty. If you find the right person in your twenties, don’t hesitate to commit—or risk missing what may be the most important opportunity of your life: building a marriage and family.
We live in a fitness-obsessed world. Everyone seems to be working out, thinking about working out, or dressing as if they just worked out. Those who aren’t are worried that they should be concerned. And while it is not bad to be concerned about our health, there is something that is worth a much greater investment.
In 1 Timothy, Paul was writing to his younger disciple, Timothy, reminding him that the spiritual life is hard work. He uses physical training as an analogy, exhorting him to train to be godly (v. 7). We don’t often associate godliness with training. Someone once revealed to me that he thought if he just spent time around Christians, it would rub off on him. Paul’s counsel is the opposite. Avoid things that draw you away from God and expend effort to become more like Him. Pushing the analogy further, while the results of physical exercise have some value, the results of godliness are valuable for everything (v. 8).
Godliness, or the lack thereof, touches every area of our lives. It affects our relationships. It affects our work. It affects the choices we make. With so much at stake, it should be no surprise that Paul uses words like “labor” and “strive” to describe the Christian life (v. 10). We prefer to focus on themes of rest and calm in the Christian life as we confront a frenetic world, and that is appropriate. But it is also important for us to remember that leaning in, pushing hard, and working out are also part of the Christian life.
We do not train in godliness to impress others. We do it because we represent those who have placed their hope in God. Living a life of godliness shows the world that Christ is more valuable to us than anything else.
Go Deeper
Do useless conversations and debates dominate your spiritual diet? How can you lean into training in godliness? What will be your area of focus this week? Extended Reading:
1 Timothy
Pray with Us
Lord God, guide us on the road to godliness and give us strength to persevere in faith! What a blessing it is to receive advice and help from Your precious Word.
Stradivarius violins, cellos, and guitars are among the most treasured musical instruments in the world. Crafted during the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, the pieces are rare and invaluable. Something so precious deserves the utmost care. So when a Stradivarius cello—worth more than $20 million—fell off a table during a photo shoot, it was truly shocking!
Just as a Stradivarius must be handled carefully, so must our relationships. We’re to love others because Christ demonstrated His love toward us. In John 13:34, Jesus gave His disciples a command that requires careful attention: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Why did Christ call it a new command? It was new because it was rooted in the way Jesus loved people. This new command to love wasn’t careless or casual but intentional, precious, and sacrificial. Loving this way would lead to discipleship, self-denial, and possibly even death for the disciples. This care for one another would be how they survived in a difficult and hostile world after Christ’s departure. And Jesus told them, “Everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (v. 35).
Let’s carefully and sacrificially love others—reflecting Jesus’ precious and priceless love.
Reflect & Pray
Why is it difficult to show love to some people? What can help you love them in a way that reflects the love Jesus revealed?
Dear Jesus, thank You for sacrificially loving me. Please help me love others the same way.
Today’s Insights
John 13 forms the prelude to Jesus’ Upper Room Discourse (ch. 13-17)—His final teaching time with His disciples before going to the cross. Throughout the discourse, He speaks of the need for those who believe in Him to love one another (13:34-35; 15:12, 17). But before speaking about that important truth, He modeled it by taking upon Himself the place of the lowliest servant and washing His disciples’ feet (13:2-12). He went on to explain that this act was to set an example to them of humble sacrificial service (vv. 12-17). This humble service found its fullest expression when Christ said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (15:13). Those powerful words would be enacted in a few short hours as Jesus would lay down His life on the cross to take away the sins of the world. Because of His sacrificial love for us, He can help us sacrificially love others.
And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.
2 Corinthians 9:8 (NLT)
God blesses us so we can bless others. He does not want us to be needy; He wants us to be equipped to help people who are in need, and we cannot do that if all we are experiencing is lack.
When we don’t have enough to meet our own needs and the needs of our families or others for whom we are responsible, then it is very difficult to help other people. This is one reason God promises to provide for us and to do so abundantly.
I encourage you to develop the mind-set of a generous giver. Look for ways to give and for needy people to whom you can give. Study what the Bible says about God’s provision and see yourself as one who meets needs.
Prayer of the Day: Lord, make me a generous giver. Help me see needs around me, trust Your abundant provision, and use what You’ve blessed me with to bless others freely and joyfully, amen.
Analysis of GOP strategies and accountability from Benghazi to current political challenges.
Earlier this month, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced the arrest of Zubayr Al-Bakoush, one of the alleged leaders of the September 11, 2012, terrorist attack on the US Mission in Benghazi, Libya.
Fourteen years after the deaths of Chris Stevens, Sean Smith, Glen Doherty, and Tyrone Woods, and serious injuries to mission security personnel David Ubben and Mark Geist, this is accountability far too long in coming, though nonetheless greatly welcome.
In 2014, I was part of a group that pressed for answers to the Benghazi disaster. We dubbed it the “Benghazi Accountability Coalition,” and through a “select” House committee that was established to investigate the attack and in many months following, we pursued that “accountability,” but mainly to little effect against an arrogant Obama administration and a wholly — and typically — unconcerned mainstream press.
This month’s apprehension is a perfect microcosm of the maddening and incessant frustration — not just of conservative activists such as myself — but of the American people. And it’s that elite arrogance and dismissiveness (as has been frequently noted in these intervening years) that led to the 2016 political primal scream that elected Donald Trump.
The egregious leadership failure on the part of then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and President Barack Obama led directly to the Benghazi debacle. They have yet to answer for it. Or Hillary’s email scandal. Or the IRS targeting of conservative groups. Or the DOJ “Fast and Furious” gun-running scandal. Or the Russia Hoax. Or take your pick of a good half-dozen or more euphemized scandals.
So, forgive me if Pam Bondi and D.C. U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro making shop-worn declarations to hunt down the violators rings hollow. Where is the indictment of John Brennan? James Clapper? Peter Strzok? (In the interim, Strzok has even secured a settlement from the government for invading his privacy!) His co-FBI conspirator/adulterous snuggle-bunny Lisa Page? The promised re-indictment of James Comey? Again, the list is seemingly never-ending.
Republicans in Washington are in the typical mid-term panic of a majority party. They’re pinning their hopes on a rebounding economy carrying them in November. A couple little inconvenient reminders – bad economies didn’t torpedo Barack Obama in 2012 or produce the highly-touted anti-Biden mid-term “red wave” in 2022.
People are tired of seeing the “big shots” get away with it. Some commentators noted that it was perhaps not a coincidence that this arrest was announced the same day as Hillary and Bill Clinton made a deal to testify on their Epstein dealings before Congress. Maybe – maybe not. But as we’ve seen in his two terms now, Donald Trump is the embodiment of the little guy’s middle finger to the establishment. If Republicans know what’s good for them, they’d better hold Bill and Hill’s feet to the fire on Epstein, and that testimony had better be broadcast far and wide. And Trump, via Bondi, must get the political hacks in the dock and roll out the subpoenas and indictments, and in sufficient time to see some results – ideally, verdicts. You might call it Republican Lawfare.
A recovering – and ideally – booming economy is the standard political cure-all. But we’re not living in standard times – THAT is certainly an “80 percent poll question,” as is the popular reference today. Trump as middle-finger is no longer available as a choice this November, so for Republicans to become his proxy, voters must see some evidence.
As the president frequently inveighed during his first run, it’s HIGH time for him and the Republicans to “lock them (the Democrats) up!”
Greenpeace challenges a US court verdict via EU laws, raising issues of judicial sovereignty and transatlantic legal trust.
In a troubling departure from longstanding legal norms, the environmental activist group Greenpeace has turned to the European Union in an effort to undo an unfavorable verdict rendered against it in the United States. If successful, the implications would extend well beyond the nullification of a judgment unanimously decided by a jury of our peers.
At the center of the dispute is the landmark Energy Transfer v. Greenpeace decision handed down in March 2025 by a North Dakota district court. A jury found Greenpeace International and several of its affiliates liable on several counts related to their involvement in the destructive Dakota Access Pipeline protests in 2016. Energy Transfer, the pipeline’s owner, was initially awarded $667 million in damages. Although the trial judge later reduced to $334 million, Greenpeace’s response was not confined to the ordinary appellate process.
Instead, during the trial, Greenpeace International filed a separate lawsuit in the District Court of Amsterdam, where the organization is headquartered. Invoking the EU’s newly enacted Anti-SLAPP Directive – a legal directive intended to deter lawsuits designed to suppress lawful public speech – Greenpeace accused Energy Transfer of pursuing an “unfounded and abusive” lawsuit, despite offering no new evidence beyond what had already been presented in the North Dakota proceedings.
Setting aside the shaky merits of the EU case, Greenpeace’s pursuit of parallel litigation represents an affront to judicial sovereignty. Our legal system provides established mechanisms for contesting adverse judgments, including post-trial motions and appellate review. Allowing any litigant to pursue a more favorable forum once a lawful judgment has been rendered undermines confidence in the judiciary by weakening its ability to provide finality. A nation’s courts must retain the authority to adjudicate disputes under their own laws without foreign second-guessing.
The doctrine of res judicata exists precisely for this reason. As a doctrine of finality, res judicata exists to bar parties from relitigating claims that have already been decided by a competent court. While limited exceptions do exist – most commonly where new evidence emerges or where enforcing a judgment would result in a clear and grave injustice – Greenpeace satisfies neither. The absence of new evidence is plain, and any claim of injustice is hindered by the court’s careful post-trial review and partial reduction of damages, which largely reaffirmed the jury’s findings.
As concerning are the ripple effects Greenpeace’s actions would have on transatlantic trust and commercial relations. According to Texas-based attorney Charles Meyer, transatlantic judicial respect has served as a bedrock principle of international law for centuries. When legal principles are weaponized for political retribution, that trust erodes, along with the willingness to honor mutually beneficial agreements like the $750 billion EU-US energy pact.
Faced with the prospect that lawful U.S. judgments can be undone abroad, it is no surprise that American energy companies would think twice before aiding our closest allies.
Our courts have a duty not only to deliver justice to those who appear before them, but to safeguard the authority of the judicial system itself. Judicial sovereignty is not a discretionary principle; it is a constitutional necessity. Allowing foreign courts to second-guess duly rendered American verdicts would weaken the rule of law at home, erode confidence abroad, and reward those who seek to evade accountability rather than respect it.
The Washington Post carried an article about a paralegal named Mark Turner from Charlottesville, Virginia. He had a grinding daily commute—three hours each way—and it was hurting his marriage. He had little time or energy left for his wife. But he had a sudden moment of awakening, and he realized his family was more important than his job. He quit his high-paying job, took a lower-paying job nearby, and rediscovered the simple joys of unhurried mornings and family dinners. “The commute had beaten me,” he said, “but now I’m driving a new road.”1
When we love others, we make sacrifices for them. It sometimes takes a sudden moment of awakening, and such moments are usually prompted by the Lord and by circumstances. Can you think of one way you can improve the way you love a family member? Love never fails.
“And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13).
Love is the cohesive force that holds the family together…. True love does not fail. It loves even as Christ loved the church, despite personality defects, physical blemishes and mental quirks. Billy Graham
Michael Leahy, “Driven to Extremes,” The Washington Post, June 3, 2007.
One of the most dramatic and mysterious love letters of all time was penned by composer Ludwig van Beethoven and was only discovered after his death in 1827. The hastily handwritten letter is full of passionate lines like, “My eternally beloved . . . I can only live either wholly with you or not at all.” Tragically, it appears the letter was never sent, and his intended recipient remains unknown.
Beethoven’s letter is treasured by readers who can identify with his desperate yearning for love. We seek love and fulfillment in many people, things, and experiences that cannot fully satisfy. But far greater than a fleeting romance is the love of God for His covenant people, to whom He showed great love for the sake of all people. Through the prophet Jeremiah, God declared, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” (Jeremiah 31:3). Because of His great love, God promised a future of rest and favor (v. 2) and the restoration of anything that was broken (v. 4). Despite their repeated rejection and rebellion, God vowed to bring them back to Himself (v. 9).
Many years later, that same everlasting love motivated Jesus to endure death for sinners, even before we ever returned His love (Romans 5:8). We don’t have to search for love or try to earn it. We’re already loved with an everlasting love!
Reflect & Pray
In what ways do you look for love on earth? How has God demonstrated His eternal love to you?
Loving God, I’m so grateful for the way You pursue me with an everlasting love.
How can we love each other the way God calls us to? Find out more by watching A Different Kind of Love.
Today’s Insights
God disciplined His chosen people because of their unfaithfulness. Jerusalem was destroyed and the Israelites exiled to Babylon (Jeremiah 1:14-16; 5:15-19; 6:22-23; 25:9-11). But once the discipline was complete, God brought them back from exile (30:8-17), restored their privileges as His chosen nation (vv. 18-24), and, most important, restored the people to Himself (ch. 31). He did this because of His special love and unmerited mercy. God is “Israel’s father and [Israel] is [his] firstborn son” (v. 9). He assured them, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness” (v. 3). God’s discipline isn’t inconsistent with His love, for “the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in” (Proverbs 3:12). We can be assured that God loves us and pursues us with His everlasting love.
Friendships are on the decline, in quantity, but especially in quality. Due to the rise of social media and digital communication, modern relationships often lack depth, commitment, and longevity. The world seems to value individual preference, side hustles, pets, social media appearances, and hobbies over friendships.
These values can infiltrate the church, but so can prioritizing family and spouses at the expense of healthy, deep, covenantal friendships. First, let’s discuss the so-called “friendship recession,” then we can unpack how you and your church can combat it.
The friendship recession
This shift has occurred rapidly, although the phenomenon likely predates the technology. From 1975 to 2000, there was a 35 percent drop in having friends over and a 58 percent drop in club meeting attendance. This decline in America’s social fabric is only exacerbated by social media and casual friendships.
Unlike the friendships of previous generations, which often formed through shared life experiences, community engagement, and long-term interactions, friendships today tend to be more transactional and fleeting. The number of Americans with no close friends quadrupled from 4 percent to 12 percent over the period from 1990 to 2021. This decline has been called the “friendship recession.”
Broadly speaking, people who go to church regularly fare better in the friendship department. Church can be a wonderful place to make close relationships. Church involves a social gathering where folks have shared values—namely, the gospel—and engage in common activities like singing and discussing the Bible. Unfortunately, churches haven’t always capitalized on this fact.
Instead, the friendship recession has affected not only personal relationships but also how friendships are perceived within the church. Rather than being viewed as a crucial aspect of spiritual growth and Christian living, friendships have become secondary to romantic and familial relationships.
This modern neglect of deep, covenantal friendships has significant implications for the church.
When friendships are not prioritized or nurtured, churches can become fragmented, with individuals forming small, insular groups rather than functioning as a unified body. This lack of deep connection weakens communities, making it easier for people to leave their church for minor reasons or to seek fulfillment elsewhere.
If friendships were viewed through a covenantal lens—similar to the biblical examples of David and Jonathan, or even Jesus and His disciples—churches would foster a stronger sense of commitment, accountability, and support among their members.
Biblical examples of covenantal friendship
The Bible presents numerous examples of friendships that transcend cultural expectations and personal circumstances. Jonathan and David, for example, model the biblical picture of covenantal friendship. There are several moments when David and Jonathan show brotherly affection and make lifelong commitments to friendship, but this passage from 1 Samuel stands out:
Then Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, because we have sworn both of us in the name of the Lᴏʀᴅ, saying, ‘The Lᴏʀᴅ shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever.’” (1 Samuel 20:42)
This kind of commitment has the potential to transform both individual lives and church communities. Their friendship was marked by unwavering loyalty, self-sacrifice, and deep emotional connection, demonstrating the power of covenantal love. Jonathan risked his own safety and position for David’s well-being, showing that true friendship often requires personal sacrifice.
In addition to David and Jonathan’s friendship, Jesus Himself modeled deep relational bonds with His disciples. He did not merely serve as their teacher; He called them friends (John 15:15). His love for them was sacrificial and enduring, as seen in His commitment to walking with them in their weaknesses, encouraging them, and ultimately laying down His life for them.
Similarly, the early church exemplified communal friendship in Acts 2:42-47, where believers devoted themselves to fellowship, shared their resources, and supported one another in radical ways.
These examples remind us that friendships in the Christian faith are not meant to be optional or superficial but integral to spiritual growth and community flourishing.
Does every friendship need to be covenantal?
Does every friendship need to be covenantal? In short, absolutely not.
Friendship is not a single category. We use the same word to describe people we occasionally see, people we share activities with, and people who carry our inner lives—but not all friendships are meant to hold the same emotional weight.
The difference between them is not primarily time spent, proximity, or shared interests; it is emotional posture: how open, exposed, and responsible two people are willing to be with one another.
Covenant friendship is not a higher-value human being but a deeper shared agreement. It cannot exist unilaterally. Close and covenant friendships only form when both people—implicitly or explicitly—agree that the relationship carries the next level of responsibility.
When intimacy is assumed without mutual clarity, it becomes high-liability rather than life-giving. Covenant friendship, at its core, is not about intensity or constant access, but about mutual commitment to presence, repair, and care across seasons of change.
As Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” While it’s important for every believer to have one to a few covenantal friendships, there’s no need to stress about making everyone into that kind of friend! It’s a rare, treasured thing that should be protected, cultivated, and celebrated.
How can your church encourage covenantal friendships?
Often, friendships within the church remain segmented along lines of age, marital status, or shared interests, rather than functioning as a holistic, intergenerational community. When friendships are not intentionally cultivated, they can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, weakening the overall fabric of the church.
However, if churches were to intentionally cultivate and encourage friendships across different groups—between singles and married couples, across generations, and even across cultural backgrounds—there would be a greater sense of unity and mutual encouragement in the body of Christ.
A culture of covenantal friendship would encourage members to commit to one another in love, fostering an environment where spiritual growth, accountability, and encouragement thrive. This shift would strengthen the church and provide a countercultural witness to a world that often undervalues deep, committed relationships.
To cultivate these kinds of friendships, we need to take practical steps:
First, churches should actively teach about the value of covenant friendships, incorporating it into sermons, Bible studies, and discipleship programs.
Second, believers should commit to spending intentional time with one another, prioritizing friendship in their schedules rather than relegating it to occasional interactions.
Third, accountability should be a natural part of these relationships, where friends encourage one another in faith, challenge each other to grow spiritually, and walk through trials together.
Lastly, churches should create spaces where friendships can naturally develop, such as small groups, mentorship programs, and intergenerational gatherings.
Reclaiming the biblical vision of covenantal friendship is essential for both personal and communal flourishing. Friendship, when understood as a covenantal relationship rather than a casual association, has the power to transform the church into a more unified, supportive, and spiritually mature body. By looking to biblical examples and intentionally investing in deep, Christ-centered friendships, we can cultivate a church community that reflects the eternal, relational joy of the kingdom of God.
As marriage fades away in eternity, friendships will remain, demonstrating the enduring nature of covenantal love. In a culture that often isolates individuals and prioritizes independence over interdependence, the church has the unique opportunity to reclaim friendship as a foundational element of Christian life. By doing so, we offer a glimpse of heaven: a
community united in love, bound by faith, and strengthened through covenantal friendship.
To whom can you offer that glimpse of heaven today?